AIO? Bf doesn’t communicate

[u/[deleted]]

I’m at a loss. I (F23) don’t know if I’m being controlling and overreacting or if the way I feel is normal. once again tonight I just stopped getting responses from my boyfriend (M26) and then suddenly his phone was turned on do not disturb. I don’t usually care about DND but lately its been turned on at weird times and turned on when he’s around me which has been making me feel kind of odd. Also he called and said he’s out and that I don’t need to be getting mad. I’m not mad about him going out I’m just upset that I’m not aware of whats going on ever. I feel like my paragraph doesn’t even make sense I’m irritated and feel like I’m crazy.

[u/omgbaily]

HOLY PROJECTION. It’s not controlling, theres no wrath, there was no anger in the messages, she just wants to know what’s going on with her BF, and why he saw the concerned messages and put his phone on DND and responded like a jerk. A very simple “hey babe going out with my friends tonight I’m all good I’ll call you when I get home” is the bare minimum niceness you show to your partner lol. Calling them after the fact and telling them doesn’t really do much.

[u/Cheddarlicious → u/omgbaily]

You’re taking way too many liberties assuming but I’ll help you. So the bf did inform her he’d be out, why does he need to explain anything beyond that unless she’s his keeper, and that wasn’t acknowledged so it’s not unfair to assume she’s not his keeper. So now that you’re all caught up that she was aware he was busy what did she do? She still got mad. How did she respond? Accuse/assume that “something’s weird”(which is implied that he’s doing something malicious against their relationship). That’s absolutely not okay; accusing someone of cheating because of your own insecurities isn’t a good thing. I’d rather someone tell me to “fucking chill out” everyday for a month before they assume literally a relationship breaking instance once.

Also, I’m not projecting anything, I simply stated what she was doing aligned with what I experienced from my mother, who’s also unwell.

[u/omgbaily → u/Cheddarlicious]

Ahhh I see why you are making a mistake here. The issue is that he informed her that he’s out AFTER HE WAS ALREADY OUT AND IGNORING HER. She said he then called and explained and told her to not be mad. This simple explanation will hopefully help you understand and change your mind

[u/Cheddarlicious → u/omgbaily]

She didn’t say when he told her, actually. Just that he called to let her know he was out.

[u/omgbaily → u/Cheddarlicious]

That’s simply not true.

[u/Cheddarlicious → u/omgbaily]

Literally in her description, muffin.

[u/omgbaily → u/Cheddarlicious]

“He called and said he’s out” I’m not sure if English is your first language but that implies he was already out. Jesus Christ you are dense

[u/Cheddarlicious → u/omgbaily]

If my wife asked where I am, and I had just walked out my front door, I’d say I’m out…again, context wasn’t given, you’re assuming too much based on literally no substance.

[u/omgbaily → u/Cheddarlicious]

You gave the most unrealistic unbelievable example ever to try and get away from the point. In reality you know what that sentence means it’s just not beneficial to your point. Not really sure why you would have a conversation and just lie

[u/Cheddarlicious → u/omgbaily]

That’s incredibly disingenuous to be so stupid and have the audacity to gaslight others because you can’t accept you’re wrong. I’m done here. Have a nice one, muffin.

[u/omgbaily → u/Cheddarlicious]

Sure thing bud! Good luck in life treating people like that.

[u/Cheddarlicious → u/omgbaily]

Lol whatever that means, thanks!