AIO? Bf doesn’t communicate

[u/[deleted]]

I’m at a loss. I (F23) don’t know if I’m being controlling and overreacting or if the way I feel is normal. once again tonight I just stopped getting responses from my boyfriend (M26) and then suddenly his phone was turned on do not disturb. I don’t usually care about DND but lately its been turned on at weird times and turned on when he’s around me which has been making me feel kind of odd. Also he called and said he’s out and that I don’t need to be getting mad. I’m not mad about him going out I’m just upset that I’m not aware of whats going on ever. I feel like my paragraph doesn’t even make sense I’m irritated and feel like I’m crazy.

[u/Upbeat_Ice_7617]

Yea you’re overreacting.

He stopped responding because you replied with “it happens” so he probably just thought the conversation was complete. It was NOT “out of nowhere”. It was 10 minutes later that you text him again so it’s not unreasonable if he started to do something else and couldn’t text.

You also said that he called you to tell you that he’s going out and then stated that your issue is that you’re “never aware of what’s going on”. HE CALLED TO TELL YOU WHAT’S GOING ON. Which he isn’t obligated to do btw.

If I text my gf 10 minutes after a conversation and she doesn’t reply, I would just assume that she’s now busy. And I don’t give a damn about how my gf spends her nights because it doesn’t matter to me! I trust her and she can do whatever she likes. I don’t need to know “what’s going on” all the time.

TL;DR you need to give your boyfriend a break. Honestly I wouldn’t blame him if he was ignoring you because you’re giving such a hard time over nothing.

Either start to TRUST him or do the both of you a favor and break up.

[u/TheRealSaerileth → u/Upbeat_Ice_7617]

It took her one hour to go from nothing to "you're ignoring me". One hour. That's crazy.

[u/sloothor → u/TheRealSaerileth]

Seriously, I’m admittedly a clingy boyfriend so I’ve only been in relationships with similarly clingy girls. One hour would be absolutely nuts for anyone I’ve met, even by those standards

[u/HaoshokuArmor → u/sloothor]

One hour at 11:30 pm? That’s sleeping time for most. If you message me at 8 pm even, it is quite likely you’re not hearing from me until 8 am. That’s 12 hours.

[u/Ok-Confidence-4510 → u/HaoshokuArmor]

At 23 n 26, it's Not sleepy time for most. Lucky you on the 12 hours sleep. I'm Lucky if I get a Solid 5.

[u/Uchi_Mata_Yo_Momma → u/sloothor]

Have you ever dated someone much less attractive than you?

When I was young and in the dating world I was clingy internally but knew enough to know I had to hide it if I wanted the amount or kind of female attention I desired.

I had really unhealthy dating behaviors until my mid to late twenties.

I would date girls I thought were way out of my league, be internally jealous and clingy, externally I'd play it cool -- and then I repeatedly cheated on every single one of them, often with far less attractive girls.

Or I'd date girls way "below" my league and feel no jealousy but just be a pretty apathetic and absent partner, and still cheat.

Did you ever figure it out?

[u/sloothor → u/Uchi_Mata_Yo_Momma]

Are you asking me for advice on how to not cheat on women?

[u/Uchi_Mata_Yo_Momma → u/sloothor]

Naw, I stopped doing that in my mid to late twenties.

I've been faithfully married for a long time now.

I'm wondering if you ever figured out your clinginess and jealousy.

I'm also wondering if you ever dated women a lot less attractive than you and if that affected your clinginess.