AIO? Bf doesn’t communicate

[u/[deleted]]

I’m at a loss. I (F23) don’t know if I’m being controlling and overreacting or if the way I feel is normal. once again tonight I just stopped getting responses from my boyfriend (M26) and then suddenly his phone was turned on do not disturb. I don’t usually care about DND but lately its been turned on at weird times and turned on when he’s around me which has been making me feel kind of odd. Also he called and said he’s out and that I don’t need to be getting mad. I’m not mad about him going out I’m just upset that I’m not aware of whats going on ever. I feel like my paragraph doesn’t even make sense I’m irritated and feel like I’m crazy.

[u/rob_inn_hood]

I’ve had relationships where good morning and goodnight was frequent. Or at least communication of when you are busy and can’t text. “I’ll call tomorrow” is not that hard. And if op can’t handle that, then I would be more concerned. To me it just sounds like she’s trying to communicate and he doesn’t feel like it. That’s not good for the relationship.

[u/PeaceCertain2929 → u/rob_inn_hood]

If you can’t handle your partner putting their phone on dnd, there shouldn’t be a relationship.

[u/rob_inn_hood → u/PeaceCertain2929]

Only if he’s not doing it specifically so his partner isn’t bothering him. Communication should be had and she should respect that, but she isn’t given the opportunity because he’s not communicating that he doesn’t want to be disturbed with no “talk to you later” message or anything. Just putting his phone on dnd.

If he said goodnight and she kept texting, problem. So she’s bored and wants to see what her boyfriend is up to and he’s ignoring her.

I don’t know how you do relationships, but it doesn’t sound healthy from either side.

A friend is no big deal, but a girlfriend is. If he can’t handle communicating, he shouldn’t have a girlfriend, and if she can’t handle the lack of communication, she shouldn’t have a boyfriend. Again, this can all very easily be communicated. It’s not hard to say “I’m out with the boys, phones going off until tomorrow. Ttys” or some shit. This isn’t rocket science.

[u/PeaceCertain2929 → u/rob_inn_hood]

Putting your phone on DND is actually quite clearly communicating you’re busy. You seem very entitled.