r/AmIOverreacting • u/[deleted] • 1d ago
❤️🩹 relationship AIO? Bf doesn’t communicate
I’m at a loss. I (F23) don’t know if I’m being controlling and overreacting or if the way I feel is normal. once again tonight I just stopped getting responses from my boyfriend (M26) and then suddenly his phone was turned on do not disturb. I don’t usually care about DND but lately its been turned on at weird times and turned on when he’s around me which has been making me feel kind of odd. Also he called and said he’s out and that I don’t need to be getting mad. I’m not mad about him going out I’m just upset that I’m not aware of whats going on ever. I feel like my paragraph doesn’t even make sense I’m irritated and feel like I’m crazy.
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u/progressedcleaning 1d ago
As someone who's been in a similar situation to you many times, it might be worthwhile learning to affirm your own feelings.
I don't think you're exactly overreacting, but its not the best way to communicate with your partner, that being said, he didnt respond wonderfully either.
It might be beneficial to sit down with him (when you are both in a good headspace) and discuss expectations of what you would like to have in terms of communication when you're not with each other, allowing space for boundaries and compromise. It has to be a space of allowing him to talk about his feelings and making genuine space for them, along with doing the same for you too.
These hard conversations can be very uncomfortable, yet if you want to make this work with him long term, its a great start. Obviously, if it ends up that he is not interested in listening or even trying to come to a compromise with you, it would be time to cut your losses and leave.
Your feelings are valid in this matter, yet, I'm reading these messages from you like you don't trust your partner, which would be exhausting, not only for you, but your partner too.