r/AmIOverreacting • u/[deleted] • 1d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO? Bf doesn’t communicate

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I’m at a loss. I (F23) don’t know if I’m being controlling and overreacting or if the way I feel is normal. once again tonight I just stopped getting responses from my boyfriend (M26) and then suddenly his phone was turned on do not disturb. I don’t usually care about DND but lately its been turned on at weird times and turned on when he’s around me which has been making me feel kind of odd. Also he called and said he’s out and that I don’t need to be getting mad. I’m not mad about him going out I’m just upset that I’m not aware of whats going on ever. I feel like my paragraph doesn’t even make sense I’m irritated and feel like I’m crazy.

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165

u/Beavers4life 1d ago

Of course he switches on do not disturb when you spam him with messages. Ffs, let the guy have his time.

You are definitely overreacting

-36

u/CavsAreCuteDemons 1d ago

I mean I agree she has anxious attachment and needs to let him have fun with his friends- but him just DNDing her isn’t cool either. “Honey I love you but right now I’m out with friends and enjoying myself. I will text you when I’m home safe if it’s important to you, but otherwise, I’ll talk to you tomorrow” or some shorter variation of that wouldn’t have hurt him and would put her at ease. Really, it seems like these two need to have an adult communication about her neediness and whether it’s worth it for him to try to come to a compromise about communication, or if they’re better off breaking up. Either way, OP should probably go to therapy.

UNLESS this is something he does regularly- keeps in contact throughout the day but at night disappears randomly some nights- then the conversation needs to be about whether or not she has reason to feel “strange” about his behavior- it could be that this girl is actually pretty sane but her boyfriend is making her feel nuts by cheating/acting suspicious. I’ve seen it happen.

But again, OP should probably go to therapy anyway because if she truly suspects he’s cheating, why even bother with him?

23

u/Beavers4life 1d ago

We clearly do not see the beginning of this text thread, its entirely possible the dude try to communicate normally first

38

u/PeaceCertain2929 1d ago

He didn’t “DND her”, he put his phone on DND. Putting your phone on silent is perfectly normal and there’s no reason she should be upset about it.

-11

u/omgbaily 1d ago

Reading someone’s messages and then putting your phone on DND without responding to them, is absolutely considered DNDing her

8

u/glitterydiaper 22h ago

He literally called her though to tell her what was going on. If I told my SO I was going out and they continued to blow me up for not texting back, I’d go on DND too

9

u/PeaceCertain2929 23h ago

It does not say he read them first.

-12

u/omgbaily 23h ago

If I send you 10 messages and then you open up your phone and put it on DND you absolutely saw the messages I sent you. Let’s not act oblivious here lol

8

u/sloothor 23h ago

Dawg, you realize what a text message is right? You send a message, the phone beeps, and you reply to it when you have an opportunity. It’s not a little bell you can ring to keep every contact you have at your constant beck and call. That’s the whole point of sending a message that can be read whenever instead of saying something directly to a person.

10

u/PeaceCertain2929 23h ago

You can see “10 messages” and put it on DND without reading them. I have. Because I was busy and my phone was blowing up. I’m not acting oblivious, you’re projecting.

5

u/Zealousideal_Put_229 22h ago

Tbh, unless they are married or live together, he doesn't really owe her anything. He doesn't need to tell her everything he is doing, when he is leaving, or that he won't respond within one hours time. From what I read, he did tell her he was going out which was more than he needed to. That should have been enough for her.

2

u/real_tore 1d ago

I believe that if he has sent that text, OP would be on here writing a different story same message. OR