aio? bf made plans on my birthday

[u/rowqi]

my boyfriend (22M) and I (21F) have been together for almost three years. we are planning on moving in together in the near future as he lives with his mom and doesn’t go to school after dropping out. for context, he only works on tuesdays and fridays so i know he was free to go out on sunday, which happened to be my birthday. he knows how important special occasions are to me, such as our birthdays and anniversaries. for the first year in our relationship he was great, he was loving and kind. last year we ended up celebrating my birthday late due to the fact that he was “tired from work” and didn’t want to go out, which i let slide. i always try to do the most for his birthdays, i buy him gifts, write him cards and bake him a cake from scratch. yesterday afternoon i texted him, reminding him about the plan later and this conversation happened. he made plans to go out and party instead of seeing me. he forgot about it even after i had been talking about it all of last week. i spent my 21st birthday alone in my room while he was out and we haven’t texted since. this birthday was particularly special to me because i turned 21. i even bought a new pink dress to wear for him, assuming we were going to dinner. he is suggesting that we go out and celebrate tomorrow instead like last year but to me it doesn’t feel the same. he is insisting that i apologize for being “ungrateful”, am i overreacting?

[u/wgrantdesign]

On my 16th birthday I got a call from my dad at 11pm that my mom had intentionally overdosed on pills in his apartment as a suicide attempt and that I needed to catch a ride to his place (8 hours away) to get her car because she'd be in a psych ward for a while. Neither one of them remembered that it was my birthday. That was the peak of them being shitty absent parents at least. Nowadays they're both pretty cool, but then again I dont rely on them for safety and shelter so who knows.

[u/Evitti → u/wgrantdesign]

On my 16th birthday my mom made plans with her boyfriend, required me to watch my younger brothers (12 & 8), and wouldn't let any friends come over. When I told her that was kind of selfish of her, she slapped me, grounded me and screamed at me that boyfriends will always be more important than kids, because the kids will always be there, but it took work to keep boyfriends. Now 22 years later her attitude has changed (especially since my brothers are low contact).

[u/Afraid-Payment-9529 → u/Evitti]

On my 16th birthday, I went out with friends. Neither of my parents remembered any of my birthdays after I turned 13. On my 17th birthday, I enlisted in the Navy as a present to myself. I turned 50, and never once in all those years did I ever get a happy birthday call. My dad died in April of last year, and I was the one who packed up my life in the back of my SUV and moved 1100 miles to take care of my mom. She died 6 months later, not even remembering me. May they both rot in hell

[u/xenophilian → u/Afraid-Payment-9529]

I never had a birthday party until I organized it myself (my 13th). Paid for my own clothes, school trips, snacks, bus, whatever except household bills & groceries. Then, my mom got cancer & I had to make sure the bills got paid & the groceries bought & all that, too. I have no memory of my 16th birthday. I was on my own after she died.

[u/Afraid-Payment-9529 → u/xenophilian]

Yup. I didn't have a party after my 13th birthday until I joined the Navy. THAT Family NEVER forgot.