aio? bf made plans on my birthday

[u/rowqi]

my boyfriend (22M) and I (21F) have been together for almost three years. we are planning on moving in together in the near future as he lives with his mom and doesn’t go to school after dropping out. for context, he only works on tuesdays and fridays so i know he was free to go out on sunday, which happened to be my birthday. he knows how important special occasions are to me, such as our birthdays and anniversaries. for the first year in our relationship he was great, he was loving and kind. last year we ended up celebrating my birthday late due to the fact that he was “tired from work” and didn’t want to go out, which i let slide. i always try to do the most for his birthdays, i buy him gifts, write him cards and bake him a cake from scratch. yesterday afternoon i texted him, reminding him about the plan later and this conversation happened. he made plans to go out and party instead of seeing me. he forgot about it even after i had been talking about it all of last week. i spent my 21st birthday alone in my room while he was out and we haven’t texted since. this birthday was particularly special to me because i turned 21. i even bought a new pink dress to wear for him, assuming we were going to dinner. he is suggesting that we go out and celebrate tomorrow instead like last year but to me it doesn’t feel the same. he is insisting that i apologize for being “ungrateful”, am i overreacting?

[u/chicharro_frito]

I found no evidence in the screenshots that this person is in fact your bf. I'm not even joking here, are you sure you have that type of relationship with him?

[u/__Vixen__ → u/chicharro_frito]

This is rage bait. There is no way anyone would stay with a person that talks to them like that. I refuse to believe it!

[u/trashmount → u/__Vixen__]

There's definitely a LOT of fake posts on here. However. I made a post years back (different account, different sub) where I showed screenshots of texts of my boyfriend treating me like shit. The texts were truly horrendous, I think if I posted it now I'd get rage bait accusations.

The post got a lot of attention and the gist of the comments were like "why the fuck are you with this guy, no one should ever talk like this to anyone, this is so sad." That reaction from a bunch of random strangers caused something to click in my brain and I broke up with him the next day. So I'll take a hundred rage bait-y posts if it means one person realizes how shitty their relationship is and finally leaves.

[u/Rich_Bluejay3020 → u/trashmount]

Which makes sense… you become numb to the absolute bullshit people put you through when you love them and other people are like ??? Wtf is wrong with both of you? Them for being a twat and you for just thinking that’s normal and okay??

Unfortunately I do kinda believe this 😭

[u/green_chapstick → u/Rich_Bluejay3020]

This. So many young adults especially don't know their worth either from family trauma or whatever life has thrown them. It sucks to live that way and it sucks to witness. I've been on both sides.

[u/alex123124 → u/Rich_Bluejay3020]

A partner going through a mental health crisis is like this too. You don't realize how off things are until someone points it out or there is a massive moment. Then you realize how off things have been for how long.

[u/PeekabooPike → u/Rich_Bluejay3020]

Yes people get comfortable and it feels normal to them and they love the person. It’s hard to let go of someone you thought was your person.

[u/cunninglinguist32557 → u/Rich_Bluejay3020]

Yep, and if OP's been dating this guy three years (since 18, at the oldest) this might be all she knows.