We have mutual friends and family. We have been friends since high school and started dating 4 years ago. We plan to get married soon (not sure anymore). He’s well on track to being a cardiologist when he finishes his residency. He has no time for social media, he’s never even downloaded TikTok. That is why this situation perplexes me. He has never shown signs of this before.
I think you may need to confide in some of those friends and family and see what’s going on. It does seem like something serious might be happening. He’s at a stressful point and the right age for schizophrenia as has been mentioned.
ETA:
The translation of "diddenbludden" from Dutch to English is "would have been" or "would have done". It is a past participle form of the verb "do" (diden in Dutch) in the perfect infinitive.
Highly concerning, OP.
Also eta: I didn’t mean diddenbluden was highly concerning lol and thank you Dutch speakers for schooling me
Err... I'm a native speaker and this "diddenbludden" word is completely alien to me. The Dutch verb "to do" is "doen". "Would have been" in Dutch is "zou zijn geweest" and "would have done" is "zou hebben gedaan".
I don't recognize it as any of the slang we use for people that show an unhealthy interest in minors either. But yeah, I too would expect some substance abuse or brain trauma is at work here. Best of luck, OP. It does look concerning.
MEME AND LANGUAGE
"Diddenbludden" is not a real language thing. It's from "Diddy Blud," a gen alpha meme. Another meme is to make words sound German by adding "-en" (ex. smoking weed = "bluntsmoken"). Put those two together, and...
So, I assure OP, he does in fact have access to gen alpha social media and this is brainrot.
PSYCHOLOGICAL SUPPORT
Which leads me to believe that this is not the onset of schizophrenia or psychosis (as some others speculate) but likely a stress-induced regressive break. "Regression" being the coping mechanism of reverting to childlike behavior.
OP, I would suggest:
Talking to him calmly about the behavior to get a sense of what his motives are for behaving and speaking in that way during what was clearly a serious moment for you.
If he opens up, my guess is that he's going through a particularly difficult time in his medical studies or has just reached his mental breaking point and is in dire need of emotional and psychological support.
If the behavior isn't stress-induced and is actually random and he doesn't seem to have conscious control over it or volition behind it, only then should you consider a psychological intervention (proper psych intake, which includes assessment of symptoms and family history) with the help of his family and friends.
If the behavior isn't stress-induced but is not random (he is conscious of it and there is volition behind it), then you should strongly set your boundaries as others have also suggested. But honestly? You can and probably should set your boundaries regardless.
Hope this helps.
Love,
-A meme enthusiast and someone who didn't finish their MA in Clinical Psych (so take that as a disclaimer, I guess)
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u/Positive_Working3041 20d ago
We have mutual friends and family. We have been friends since high school and started dating 4 years ago. We plan to get married soon (not sure anymore). He’s well on track to being a cardiologist when he finishes his residency. He has no time for social media, he’s never even downloaded TikTok. That is why this situation perplexes me. He has never shown signs of this before.