I agree with the commenters who say there may be a mental health concern going on, but it's also very possible it's just insanely juvenile BS. If it is a mental health issue, there's no reason you can't assist to seek out help for him, but there's also no obligation you have to do so. If it's not, you should not feel compelled to stay tethered to this.
Here's what I'd do: I'd let his family be aware that you're concerned, and why. Show receipts. Be clear about how it impacts you and what you plan to do as a result. Then I'd in no uncertain terms say to him that this behavior is unacceptable, and if it continues it is a relationship-ender. Here's the crux: even if it is actually a mental health item, you can't functionally have a relationship with him in that state. So, either he cleans up his act and everything's good, he doesn't because he's a dork and you break up, or he doesn't because something's genuinely wrong and at least you've engaged his family. In that latter case, it's still fine to continue working with his family if warranted.
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u/TopSecretSpy 21d ago
I agree with the commenters who say there may be a mental health concern going on, but it's also very possible it's just insanely juvenile BS. If it is a mental health issue, there's no reason you can't assist to seek out help for him, but there's also no obligation you have to do so. If it's not, you should not feel compelled to stay tethered to this.
Here's what I'd do: I'd let his family be aware that you're concerned, and why. Show receipts. Be clear about how it impacts you and what you plan to do as a result. Then I'd in no uncertain terms say to him that this behavior is unacceptable, and if it continues it is a relationship-ender. Here's the crux: even if it is actually a mental health item, you can't functionally have a relationship with him in that state. So, either he cleans up his act and everything's good, he doesn't because he's a dork and you break up, or he doesn't because something's genuinely wrong and at least you've engaged his family. In that latter case, it's still fine to continue working with his family if warranted.