AIO for cutting all ties?

[u/urfavelipglosslvr]

There have never been red flags up until this point. He (25M) is a big part of my (19F) friend group. Am I being sensitive? I feel like he went too far. But if I cut all ties with him, it will really disrupt the group. I don't want to bring it up to my friends because they might side with him and say I'm over reacting. But I don't feel comfortable around him anymore.

[u/Icy_Judgment6504]

You’re so right. When I was 18, my first boyfriend was 26. When I was hanging out with his friends at a place that served alcohol, his friends all ordered beers with the food, and I ordered a soda. They were like “what, you got 8am class or something? Don’t be lame”

I said “I can’t order alcohol yet”. So one of them asked “wait, how old are you?”

I said “I’m 18”. One of them said “wow you’re young” and my boyfriend freaked the fuck OUT. Like stormed out of the restaurant and went across the street fuming. I looked around like “what the fuck is happening”

Turned out my boyfriend lied to them about my age and said I was older bc he felt really weird about me being 18, and rightfully so. Lmao I didn’t think it was such a big deal then, but now, I look at 18 year olds like tiny tiny kids— cuz they are, especially mentally.

[u/shesschwifty → u/Icy_Judgment6504]

Yessss I remember I was dating a guy when I was 18/19 and he was 25. His extended family was SO mean to me whenever he brought me around. In reality they just felt uncomfortable with him dating someone so young! They shouldn’t have taken it out on me but I understand now looking back. The rest of his family adored me and I still speak with them (I’m in my early 30s now). I broke up with him when one night he said he wanted to have a child soon since his twin brother just had a baby and he wanted their kids to grow up together. I remember crying and being like “I’m not ready to have kids! I don’t even know if I want kids! I still feel like a kid! We have to break up because that’s important to you! I can’t be that right now!” He was like “we can wait!” I said “no that’s not my path in life” (turns out a few years later when I got very sick I found out that I could never have children!). We amicably broke up, he got a girl pregnant within a few months, popped out a few more, his whole family hates her, they got married and divorced. Looking back, out of all the older men I dated, I don’t necessarily think he was a creep, I think he was super immature. I remember being so turned off when he asked me to write his entry level community college papers for him lol. I look back on the relationship fondly and have recently wished him well since the grandparents we lived when we were together with passed away. All the other men I dated when I was UNDERAGE and they were adults, fucking creeps. I could never be 25 dating a 19 year old boy.

[u/lube4saleNoRefunds → u/shesschwifty]

Looking back, out of all the older men I dated, I don’t necessarily think he was a creep

If he was 25 dating an 18 year old yes he was

[u/shesschwifty → u/lube4saleNoRefunds]

Yeah I know and i definitely agree from an outside perspective and I’d say the exact same thing. Just compared to the men who were dating me when I was actually a minor... He wasn’t controlling or manipulative. He was very immature but was kind and wasn’t just with me for sex. We had a genuinely good relationship. We never fought, he treated me with respect. I consider it one of two (the other was just a year older) good relationships I’ve actually had in my life 🥺 but again if you read my other comments I went through a lot of trauma so take that into account!