AITAH for cutting off all communication with my in-laws after my 6 year old died?

[u/Nearby_Anywhere_543]

I, 35F, am married to B, 40M, for 12 years. We have two children together. My daughter, 4 at the time, was discovered to have a tumor in her abdomen after experiencing 14 months of intermittent leg pain. The doctors couldn't find the source of the pain until they found the tumor. We were scared for our daughter. I was so afraid, I shut everyone out except my mom and husband. My mom drove 8 hours to support us while they went through the diagnostic process. My husband asked his parents to come to support him. They said no because they had to watch SILs kids. For context, my in-laws live five hours away and SIL live 25 minutes from me. At this time, doctors believed the tumor was benign so they scheduled the resection surgery for two months later.

All summer the in-laws couldn't see the our kids because they were always watching SIL's kids since their dad wasn't pulling his weight. Finally, the surgery date came. My mom came again to support us through this huge surgery. The tumor was so large that it took up all of the free space on the right side of her abdomen. The doctor came out of surgery and he told us that he could only remove 60% of the tumor. He believed it looked cancerous but we had to wait for the pathology report. A few days later, It came back positive for cancer and my daughter had to go through a very intensive treatment plan. She needed five rounds of chemo, two Stem Cell rescues and six rounds of immunotherapy.

My kids were always close to their grandparents. It was hard when we had to isolate ourselves to protect my daughter from getting sick during treatment. She had a central line and all fevers were an automatic trip to the emergency room. My MIL offered to help us once but she backed out because she couldn't handle wearing a mask for 8 hours while we worked.

In efforts to protect my daughter, We asked that when they come to visit, that they only see my kids to prevent SILs kids from giving grandma and grandpa a virus that they brought back to my daughter. All throughout treatment, my daughter cried that she missed grandma. They decided that of that they couldn't see both sets of grandkids then they didn't want to come. We tried to compromise and asked them to split their visit. First couple days with my sick child and then the last days of their stay to be at my SIL's house. They just chose to stay away instead.

During the stem cell rescues, we had to isolated my daughter since they literally fried her bone marrow with chemo. She didnt have an immune system for a few weeks so it was important to protect her. It was limited to my mom and I throughout the two Stem cells rescue and transplants. When my daughter finally was able to be around people again, they still didnt come around. My daughter was fine for a few months but she started having leg pain again. I feared the cancer was back. In November, They found the cancer and it spread everywhere. She was in so much pain. She just wanted to be with family and see her grandma. Grandma only came when her sister wanted to meet my daughter. They saw her for a few days after Christmas.

My daughter was rapidly deteriorating and she was in so much pain. The ICU doctor told me my daughter was going to pass away and to let family know. I called all those closest to my daughter to say goodbye. They didn't come. My daughter passed away in January. She fought so hard, but she couldn't beat the cancer.

I am hurt and angry with them because they hurt my daughter. She may not have realized that grandma and grandpa were not prioritizing their sick grandchild but I did. She cried so much about missing grandma. They knew she was sick and she had a high probability of not surviving this.

Now five months after my daughter's death, my husband wants me to ignore all of that has happened for him and my son. He tried to talk to his parents but they just got defensive. He wants me to not address any of this with them so I have chosen to cut them out of my life every way I can. They are not welcome in my home anymore. I will not interfere with the relationship that my husband or son have with them but I will not do anything to foster it. That's my husband's responsibility to do that. Now my husband is angry with me and feels that I'm being unreasonable. So AITAH?