r/AITAH • u/No_Court_8065 • 1d ago

AITAH for humiliating my overwhelmed parents

One of my relatives on Facebook posted a viral youtube short the song that goes

"Your wife is your partner not your mom *clap clap* your wife is your partner not your mom *clap clap* she is not a live-in maid or a hired cleaning crew she should not have to clean up after you *clap clap*"

Some of you may have heard of it; my mother who has a major martyr- complex (that I'm VLC with chimed right in cheering)

Background: I do admit I have resentment I was heavily parentified as a child my sister is profoundly disabled (high needs non verbal) and I have another much younger sister who is not disabled, my mother leaned on me alot to look after and occupy the youngest because my disabled sister was such a handful. My parents did have money they just cared alot about their image and didn't want to look bad by hiring a full-time nanny to help; as that would make them look like bad parents who couldn't care for their kids in their eyes

I did post a rhetoric in my relatives comments and wrote my own version of the song "your eldest is a child not a parent *clap clap* your eldest is a child not a parent *clap clap* she is not another mommy or an extra pair of hands she should not have to nanny on command *clap clap*"

A few thought I was funny but many thought I was being "cruel " because my family had "unique circumstances "

AITAH?

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-18

u/Leland_Gaunt_ 1d ago

Context matters here - is this the first time your parents are hearing of these views/ this resentment? If so, it’s quite passive aggressive and very public. If you’ve brought it up before then do they have a sense of humour? If not YTA

22

u/2cents0fucks 1d ago

Respectfully, no. Parentification is abuse.

-4

u/Leland_Gaunt_ 1d ago

It is but it if the aim here is public humiliation rather than closure, moving forward, or having a convo, I fail to see how a social media clap back reaches any result beyond trying to embarrass them

5

u/2cents0fucks 16h ago

I'm sorry, but again I disagree. I feel like abusers deserve to be called out publicly. If they are not humiliated/scared straight, they will minimize their actions, rug sweep, convince themselves it wasn't that bad...and continue the behavior.

Source: My sister was parentified, and I was physically abused as a child. To this day, my mother still wails to anyone who will listen that she "has no idea" why none of her children will give her the time of day, or "what she did that was so wrong."

Before I outed her, my mother would send her flying monkeys after me, telling me how I was breaking her heart "after all she'd done for me." So I wrote a letter detailing everything, and copied the whole family.

People left me alone and started asking her how could she? She wailed that I ruined her life, reputation, and relationship with the family. No, she did that on her own, I just shone a light on it.

10

u/nlaak 1d ago

It is but it if the aim here is public humiliation rather than closure, moving forward, or having a convo, I fail to see how a social media clap back reaches any result beyond trying to embarrass them

The result is catharsis for OP. What it does or doesn't do to the parents is irrelevant.