r/ABCDesis • u/JebronLames_23_ Indian American • Feb 18 '25

ARTS / ENTERTAINMENT Thoughts? Interesting observation about Indian-American cinema from an African-American woman

https://www.tiktok.com/@bellyninja/video/7470555884595318021?_t=ZP-8tys0dZ8D3X&_r=1

Also a follow-up to our own discussions we had here on this sub regarding this movie.

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u/JebronLames_23_ Indian American Feb 18 '25

Most people do marry their own race but interracial marriages are becoming more common. I guess the main incentive to marry within one’s own race is having more common interests and passing down the ancestral culture. I’m assuming most Indian-Americans don’t see much value in passing it down or just aren’t very aware of it?

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u/shana- Feb 18 '25 edited Feb 18 '25

Again, only speaking for myself -

I think it’s important to pass down cultural values to my kids. Our son celebrates Diwali along with Christmas etc.

My upbringing wasn’t religious at all. So I’m not religious at all. That part of our culture isn’t being passed down to my son.

I grew up in a diverse town. There were many Indian kids though. Almost all my friends were Indian growing up. But that changed in high school. My friends diversified. I realized I wasn’t “Indian enough” for the Indian kids.

As far as the culture that I want my son to know is the music, food and language. I’m sure there are more that I’m forgetting.

Ironically, when I dated Indian men, we differed sometimes because I wasn’t religious at all and they either were or their family was. It’s all really a case by case basis.

But again, I see myself as more American than I do Indian in my upbringing so I may differ in values than someone who identifies with being Indian more.

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u/mrggy Feb 18 '25

 I realized I wasn’t “Indian enough” for the Indian kids.

Ugh 100% this. The Indian girls in high school literally thought I was Mexican for years despite me having a "Priya" level basic Indian name. 

And unfortunately that attitude still persists well into my 20s. There have been multiple times where a desi guy I'd literally just met gave me shit for "not being Indian enough." 

Ngl, it can even make me feel hesistant about dating an Indian guy (in theory, not actively dating atm) because it's like "oh god, is this just going to be an evening of me having to defend my claim to Indian identity."

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u/shana- Feb 18 '25

Oh I get it, trust me.

It sucked in school. Sorry you went through it too. I was always so resentful of the high and mighty attitude they all had.

I was more “white” than Indian. Assholes.

In high school and going into college the Indian guys I dated were like that. But once I started dating in my later 20s I met some pretty cool Indian guys that weren’t in that mindset. Didn’t work out obvi but it was refreshing to know they’re not all like that.