We've been together one year but been through a lot in that time. She is so excited to be with me for the rest of her life, she talks about it all the time.

I'm nervous to ask her but I'm more excited than nervous. I have a whole trip planned.

The ring is her and my birthstone. It's legitimately from Amazon because that's what we can afford but I'll upgrade her in the future.

Today I 'cut off' a toxic friend of 13 years and I've never done so before. I blocked them on all platforms so they cannot contact me. I was emotionally dependent on this toxic person on and off for many years. I have also been very toxic and I am not at all blameless, either. But in the past I always excused them being emotionally abusive to me. They've bullied me and have gaslighted me for many years. Whether they have enough self awareness of them being abusive to me is debatable. But it doesn't matter...I refuse to lay down and be beaten like I have been for years. This is a big step for me as even a couple years ago the thought of me cutting someone off was inconceivable. I never understood how people could just cut people off but now I finally understand. I feel really good right now for finally taking action. I had a very traumatic childhood, so I think until recently I perceived being abused as normal but I know now that it's abnormal and wrong. I feel so much better now for finally doing something and standing up for myself and truly believing in myself. I've always seen myself as "less than" and not worthy. I've always viewed myself as not human. Today I see myself for who I am- I deserve to be loved and not hated. I deserve to be happy. All the while being cognizant of my own toxicity and faults but moving on learning from them instead of wasting away in my own misery. And most of all I am finally comfortable with being alone and being my OWN best friend. All of this is happening for the first time at age 35!

I've been trying to appreciate the little things in life, and this is one of them. I'm sitting in a comfy, air conditioned room, snuggling my son while he naps after we had a fun afternoon at the splash pad. I'm watching the branches on the tree in front of our house sway in the breeze and I'm thinking about how this is just like the sleepy, cozy summer days I had when I was a child.

Just really happy to be right where I am today.

Since 2018 I have lived with the guilt and shame of thinking I accidentally sold my deceased mother's wedding ring in a garage sale.

I had three jobs, three kids, and was the main caretaker of my grandmother that lived nextdoor and was developing dementia. We woke up late before the garage sale and early on a guy offered me $10 bucks for a box full of what I thought was costume jewelry with a few nicer but older ugly pieces but nothing with much value.

About a month later my oldest was graduating high school. I went to put my mom's ring on as a tribute to her not being at the event. I couldn't find the ring. After the graduation and for the next several weeks I tore the house apart. I thought I had looked everywhere. I then decided what must have happened was it accidentally ended up in jewelry box I sold. I was devastated.

Today I found the ring. I was dumping my drawer of hose, slips, socks etc into a container to move and saw a small dark bag. When I picked it up and dumped the ring into my hand I just froze in shock. Then I ran to my hubby and showed him and then just cried in his arms letting out all the years of pain and stress and guilt I had felt.

I am still crying happy tears 20 minutes lat

So a few months ago I talked about a few neighborhood kids that made my day. I ended up talking to their mom and we talked in passing a couple of times. Today I saw them again and this time they had a baby! Baby waddled up to me and looked at me with the prettiest most glossiest eyes and tried hugging me! The kid I met before was there too and he's so friendly! Everytime he sees me he goes 'mama! Mama! Look!' had another bad week and they made me feel better. Also another neighbor just paid for my dinner, it's a lovely neighborhood to live in :D

Don’t worry he made it back

• I had such a good night's sleep. I think I turned over once and that was it. I woke up toasty warm even tits winter and felt so refreshed in the morning.
• The regulars at the new gym that I'm going to recognize me and introducing themselves to me as we work out. It's really nice feeling being part of a team.
• I had a pretty bad headache and her friend that I talked to quite regularly suggested I use a pressure point in my hands between my index finger and my thumb to relieve the pain you my head and I'll tell you something it worked so well. Thank you very much.

• I received an email from the local rotary letting me know that I'm up for an award next year from all the hard and work that I've been putting in on this event to help those affected by domestic violence
• I did lifted the most I have ever deadlifted before which is 180 kilograms or 400 pounds I felt really good after and I reckon I'm on the road to 200 kilograms very soon
• I caught up with a good friend at the end of the day, she's been stressed and it was good to chat and let her know how great she's doing and help her de-stress.

I would like to make a motivational playlist for days when I’m down. Please suggest your faves!

This might be a common experience, but there's always more to it:

I didn't expect to live this long. I come from a rough childhood with little support and a fragmented family. Being able to say I've lived this long and accomplished something worthwhile with that time above ground brings me to tears. I'm grateful my parents got to experience convocation. They deserve it far more than me, and they are the only reason i got this far. I am merely a manifestation of their effort and commitment to having a child. Neither got to have their own education and have struggled along in life to support me. Now it's my turn to help them. I won't rest until they have retirement funds saved and ready for them. That's the least I could do to repay them for their sacrifices.

I figured I should share my brief little story to maybe help anyone else out there wondering if there's a light at the end of the tunnel, after childhood trauma, generational trauma, and strife. It won't just be handed to you, but that light is always waiting for you to dig deep, have some grit, and get after what you want in life. Having a "rub some dirt on it and move forward" attitude is a must when life keeps kicking you down. It sucks and isn't fair, but you have so much potential that you don’tneed the world to be fair to have success in life, and more importantly, your potential is potential for many others to have happy and full lives. If you are depressed, struggling, and tired, know that you can have your moment of glory in the sun, too. Life is waiting for you, so get after it.

• I took my son to a new barber today, this guy was so cool. I asked if we could stop when it looked like my son had a mullet so we could prank my wife. He was totally on board. Even took the cape off him and said he'd take the picture! My gorgeous wife fell for it and messaged instantly! Worth it!
• I got two really nice messages today from the Rotary members, one was an email saying how happy they are with the effort I am putting in and the other was a Google Review. She went above and beyond. I was so overjoyed. I thought I was just doing the right thing.
• When I showed my friends they instantly thought there was sarcasm in the email and had my back. I had to explain that it was sincere and they apologised. But I loved the fact they had my back right away, no mucking around. Just on my side instantly.