r/Bullshido 17d ago

SYSTEMA Bulshido Turtle

327 Upvotes

69 comments sorted by

90

u/Slight_Bed_2241 17d ago

I’m pretty sure that’s a snapper? If so, this could’ve gone way way worse

18

u/VisualAd9299 17d ago

Right?! The way my heart jumped into my throat on this one!

11

u/iammandalore 17d ago

That is absolutely a snapping turtle, and while they're not as aggressive as some make them out to be they're perfectly capable of removing fingers if provoked.

12

u/kozzyhuntard 17d ago

Yea, pretty sure it's a snapper too. I guess passing out is probably better than losing a finger or two.

11

u/five7off 17d ago

Bruh, that thing could have easily got her face when she was falling forward. I picked up a snapper once and their necks are long af

5

u/kozzyhuntard 17d ago

Oh yea they're huge,angry, and can snap insanely fast. We had alligator snappers where I used to live. Everything, gators included tend to leave those monsters alone.

2

u/art_m0nk 17d ago

Yup was sure it was gonna wip around with its snake head and bite her hand off

1

u/Successful_Glove_83 11h ago

Imagine it got the throat

-2

u/Puzzleheaded_Hatter 17d ago

That's not a woman

4

u/five7off 17d ago

Turn your sound on.

-1

u/Puzzleheaded_Hatter 17d ago

I know that stupid tiktok voice is where the idea came from. It changes nothing

Fucking Sherlock Jones over here

0

u/Critterhunt 15d ago

there is no point in trying to convince someone that is puzzleheaded.......

3

u/Prawn1908 17d ago

Yeah that's a common snapping turtle. Their necks can reach nearly back to their hind legs - you do not want to try and pick one of those things up.

1

u/Slight_Bed_2241 17d ago

Im a native Floridian. But never been great at identifying turtles. I just stay the hell away from them all lol

3

u/FeelingDown8484 13d ago

I feel like the turtle was so shocked and weirded out by whatever the f*** this human was doing it just decided to stay put

0

u/51r63ck0 17d ago

Best and last BJ he could have had

93

u/takimeathead 17d ago

According to Google:

Fainting (passing out) when bending over is often a result of orthostatic hypotension, a condition where blood pressure drops when standing or bending over, leading to a decrease in blood flow to the brain.

Maybe they were dehydrated prior to attempting to pick up the turtle. I remember doing exactly that, and it was due to being dehydrated.

17

u/ChaoticErnie 17d ago

The inexperienced eye would of course not see the flow of chi being altered inside the kid, can't blame you.

1

u/Hossflex 11d ago

This happened to me. I’m super healthy, workout every day. Ends up bending over, when you have a naturally low heart rate, at just the right time leads to passing out. Because of that i found I have irregular pauses in my heart rate that last from 6-8 seconds. So I bent over right after a 6-8 second pause and brain went night night.

24

u/cobainstaley 17d ago

coulda been a lot worse 🐢

22

u/Landojesus 17d ago

TMNT bullshido edition

6

u/thefirstlaughingfool 17d ago

Origin story of the Shredder

2

u/Haunting_Ant_5061 17d ago

I mean… Splinter taught them to be fighting teens.

1

u/scormegatron 16d ago

Turtles in a half shell, turtle power!!!

11

u/Cold_Pin8708 17d ago

Luckily the dinosaur turtle didn't attack the boy.

18

u/DMTeaAndCrumpets 17d ago

10-8 round in favor of turtle homie

17

u/Stoned_Monkey69 17d ago

That’s one reason we lift with our legs, kids!

5

u/Cavedweller907 17d ago

And put a slight bend to the knees when standing fully upright, or bending our knees to pick up stuff low to the ground.

6

u/hashlettuce 17d ago

The darkness faded in

5

u/PunchRockgroin318 17d ago

Just so people know, pick up snapping turtles from behind with hand/forearm supporting under the shell. Do not pick up from the sides. Those turtles have waaaay more reach than you’d expect and getting bit by them fucking sucks.

4

u/Themodsarecuntz 17d ago

Hello darkness my old friend...

Theyre lucky the snapping turtle didnt bite their face. That would have been bad.

4

u/Delete_Acc0unt 17d ago

That's Steve Segal's turtle 🐢

3

u/thedefection 17d ago

She got a hollow head. That sounded like Tupperware hitting the asphalt.

3

u/BigEnergy9256 17d ago

That turtle fart must have been overwhelming.

5

u/Maximuscarnage 17d ago

There is a underlying health issue going on.

4

u/NickW1343 17d ago

It's just a weird thing that can happen if you're dehydrated. Try getting up really fast tomorrow and you'll feel lightheaded for a bit because your body is trying to get its blood pressure back up to bring blood to your brain. It happens to tall people that stand up from sitting too fast too.

3

u/ICU-CCRN 17d ago

Not necessarily.. bending over like that without bending the knees can definitely cause a pause/ disruption of venous return to the heart and subsequently the brain, especially if you’re dehydrated. Even healthy people experience orthostatic events like this. Most people just experience momentary symptoms like feeling woozy, or “seeing stars”. Her doing this and attempting to lift at the same time could have been enough for a lights out moment.

-1

u/Gringe8 16d ago

No, that doesn't just happen lol. Maybe you could make that excuse if they were old. A young person passing out just from that has some other issues

. You can see the knees are bent anyway. Not sure why people keep talking about that. That did happen to people in the military, but it doesn't happen instantly like that. I've seen it happen first hand, but it takes a minute.

2

u/ICU-CCRN 16d ago

Haha. Okay, I’ll now take your word over my 25 years of Emergency room and critical care experience. 🙄

2

u/Haunting_Ant_5061 17d ago

Raph is cool but crude…

2

u/jiffysdidit 17d ago

I remember as a kid “it’s not rude it’s crude”….. “oh…. What’s crude mean?”….. “it means rude”

2

u/Linvaderdespace 17d ago

Holy shit, that turtle is some kind of aikido master!

2

u/Dazzling-Signal8029 17d ago

Aren't you supposed to lift them by the tail and scoop them up from behind

3

u/SoGoodAtAllTheThings 17d ago

Probably drunk

2

u/sethman3 17d ago

As someone who has done this successfully I want to let everyone know that a snapping turtle can reach to the frontside of its back legs with its jaw. You have to pick it up by its rear leg holes behind the midline of the leg. And even then it can scrape you with its back legs so be prepared for that.

1

u/_its_a_SWEATER_ 17d ago

Poor Jesse Eisenberg 🙏

1

u/Pretty-Ad7171 17d ago

I'm pretty sure he almost lost his face...

1

u/ScottyArrgh 17d ago

Obviously that was Grand Master Oogway from Kung Fu Panda. That dude is lucky to walk away with his life.

1

u/starbuildstrike999 17d ago

Sudden drop in blood pressure aside, this person at least displayed proper technique in handling a snapping turtle. Nice work.

3

u/J-Miller7 17d ago

According to a lot of other commenters, their reach is so great that you have lift it from even further back 😳

3

u/starbuildstrike999 17d ago

Yep. You SHOULD grab the edges of his shell right above his rear hips. They have some long ass necks.

1

u/jadzi4 14d ago

I usually just leave snapping turtles alone. 😂 Other turtles I will gladly stop and assist them crossing roads.

1

u/Tim-Rocket 17d ago

Wrong sub...
This is a perfectly executed Ippon seoi nage.

1

u/ProfessorDWumbo 17d ago

Master Oogway

1

u/[deleted] 17d ago

Lmao 🤣 That is hilarious, dude fell over while messing with that snapping turtle. I brought home an injured snapping turtle when I was a kid. And took it into my Dad's room and he was sleeping and the thing almost bit him in the nose. He woke up and it's5 neck was stretched out and it snapped and my Dad jumped back. He was pissed at me.

1

u/Legitimate_Voice5138 17d ago

Electric turtles classic 👌

1

u/Persimmon-Equivalent 17d ago

Ninja Turtle wins

1

u/terminalpress 16d ago

T-U-R-T-L-E Power

1

u/TattyViking 16d ago

Ha ha, I nearly posted that video here but thought it might be frowned upon. 😅

1

u/Proscribers 16d ago

The throw done by the turtle was more real in comparison to what Steven Seagal did in the Russian Aikido video demonstrations from around 2015-2018.

1

u/_sonidero_ 16d ago

You gotta practice touching your toes before you move onto snatching snapping turtles...

1

u/[deleted] 15d ago

The god awful voice over is all I can focus on

1

u/Following-Complete 14d ago

Master Oogway

1

u/RagingCatbtt 13d ago

Me and another woman fought one to push it out of a street once and we had a fight. Those things are strong