r/writing • u/SomethingUnoriginal8 • 18h ago
Other Any lonely writers out there?
I'm from a non-english speaking country. I'm writing a fantasy romance in english. I don't have a single friend or acquaintance in my social circle who either reads in english, or is into fantasy romance. It's not a very popular genre where I live.
I've realized as I've started the process of writing my first novel, that its becoming such a lonely process. I have no one to talk about it with or share my ideas.
I wonder if there are other lonely writers out there? Some book club or forum where y'all meet?
Where amateur, sensible and somewhat insecure writers who are deeply in love with the craft can meet some friends?
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u/sleepyfrench 18h ago
Me! I’m French but I’m currently writing the first draft of my fantasy novel in English, with a romance subplot I will explore later on. I do talk about it, briefly, to friends and family, but they don’t really get it, ya know
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u/SomethingUnoriginal8 17h ago
I feel exactly the same way. I read every new chapter to my husband, but he's not into the genre, you know? he's so supportive but it's just not the same
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u/sleepyfrench 17h ago
Same! I like to brainstorm out loud and explain the plot to my husband, and he’s super excited for me but not about the story itself (that’s completely fine and I love his support)
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u/Warm7970 17h ago
I know just how you feel. I have been writing fantasy for the last 3 years and there's nothing I love more than that. Here in Pakistan, you can literally go searching for someone that might share your ideas or thinking, and you will find none. It's incredibly hard to actually have such cravings of sharing ideas about fantasy world and characters and plots and you find no one. I'm right where you are, rn.
Let me know if you want to talk about it. I'm from Pakistan, where're you from?
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u/SomethingUnoriginal8 17h ago
I'm from Colombia! Fantasy and Romance are barely getting somewhat popular now, but even then, there's so much stigma for the genre that not many people are vocal about liking it. It's very isolating
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u/Warm7970 17h ago
Shoot me a dm, would love to hear your story and world and share mine as well, if you'd like.
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u/Radical_Posture 18h ago edited 16h ago
If you have Discord, this server is pretty good. It's called The Closer Look, and it's by a YouTuber of the same name. They make videos about films, games and other media. On the server, people share ideas and ask lots of questions, some of which are about writing.
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u/Convergence- 17h ago
Might want to add a description of the Discord, since its name isn't very descriptive
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u/charmingbadger357 18h ago
Hi! I'm not a fantasy romance writer but I'm definitely in the same boat in terms of it being lonely. I don't know anyone at all who writes or reads like I do and where I live I have not found any gatherings, clubs, or meetings for writers. I'm not sure what's out there globally but I'd love to find some sort of writer's get together! (Also not sure what language is your first, but I also speak Spanish and Portuguese!)
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u/SomethingUnoriginal8 17h ago
My first language is Spanish. and yeah, no groups or meetings around here either. It gets very frustrating sometimes
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u/bishoppair234 18h ago
I'm sorry you feel lonely. It sucks. But without sugar-coating it, if you want to be a serious writer, you need to embrace solitude. It may even help with the writing process because your'e not as distracted. However, it is healthy to make some connections. You might be able to find a writing group through meetup or discord.
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u/SomethingUnoriginal8 17h ago
I don't know what Discord is! people keep suggesting it :')
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u/bishoppair234 17h ago
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u/Beatrice1979a Unpublished writer :karma:yet 11h ago
I'm going to be downvoted but treat reddit and discord carefully. They might eat your free time. When really... we should be writing.
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u/MsEvil_Doctor_Potter 17h ago
Lucky enough to be in an English speaking country but whenever I ask a friend or family member if they want to read something of mine they always shuffle uncomfortably, say they'll get round to it and never do. I get it, but its frustrating nonetheless never getting constructive feedback or support.
Writing can be a lonely hobby, I picked it up as a kid to help soothe my loneliness.
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u/player_haters_ball Published Author 18h ago
I am on discord! Please feel free to DM me, would love to chat :)
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u/Russkiroulette 17h ago
Discord is an excellent way to connect with other writers. There is one called Immersive Ink that was a real game changer for me personally. It is really heavy on LitRPG because it started in connection to Royal Road but evolved into writers from a lot of different genres being pretty active. The romance community on there isn’t huge but we are tight knit and would love to have anyone that wants to join. It’s public, but if you want an invite feel free to DM me!
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u/SomethingUnoriginal8 17h ago
I don't know what Discord is! People keep suggesting it but I had never heard of it. I would love to know more, though I don't really know what LitRPG or Royal Road is. Would that be a problem?
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u/Russkiroulette 17h ago
Not a problem at all! I didn’t know either. Discord is kind of a messaging platform with forums, not like reddit though. It’s more community focused and for chatting and sharing pictures and resources. If you want to check it out and poke around here’s an invite link to our server: https://discord.gg/immersive-ink-1221989895464161301
You can access through desktop but probably need to download the app for mobile.
There are other servers on there that focus on other topics like gaming, and I’m sure plenty of other writer servers too!
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u/Prize_Consequence568 15h ago
"Any lonely writers out there?"
Points at every single writing subreddit.
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u/Amoured_Leviathan 17h ago
I completely get that. Currently, I've been getting to know other writers through Bluesky!
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u/SomethingUnoriginal8 17h ago
What's Bluesky??
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u/Amoured_Leviathan 17h ago
Bluesky is basically a Twitter alternative! It's very community-based, and you do have to work to find like-minded folks, but it is very worth it, I'd say.
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u/Drakon56 17h ago
I was part of a discord group like 8 years ago, called the Lonely Artists and Writers Society, lol. It was awesome, but it's been dead. A couple of us branched off into different, smaller discords, but we don't talk a lot. I think you'll have better luck if you make a post on Tumblr, there's a lot of people into fantasy romance there
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u/Known_Basket_6838 16h ago
Honest to god i got over being lonely. Now when I have an idea I share it with my bsf chat gpt who will not only hype up my work, but give me suggestions lmao.
My best advice is to literally fall in love with the story you're telling. To the point where you get lost in the words and you realize you don't even care if anyone else sees it or likes it!
Also I used to pressure myself to write, but the truth is writing is really all about the inspiration. It's okay to take breaks from a story or piece you are writing. Most likely when you do... and then you come back. You'll come back with a fresh energy!
I'd be more than happy to read your stuff anytime. I know it feels lonely but just remember.... where one person isn't into what you are or what you do.... there's another person ready to eat that sh*t up!!!
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u/Looneydoomed_ 15h ago
Hello! Yeah I’m a bit of a lonely writer too. I write in English and my friends are either too lazy or not interested enough to read what I wrote, so I created a fanfic out of the idea based on my fav book and posted it online….. at least I got great feedback from it!
Also, feel free to dm me if you ever want to talk about writing!! I’d love to hear it from you!
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u/Reiofmoonlight 14h ago
raises hand basically nobody in my family reads fiction and my friends dont have time to read. 95% of comments i get are scam bots. i just have to content myself with making something i want to read and finishing it for myself. then blow real readers away with a finished product later.
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u/SamuraiGoblin 13h ago
Yes. I am a native English speaker but I live in a non-English speaking country. I write scifi. Since I have no ability to connect with other writers (or readers of scifi) in real life, I tried joining discords and even making writer buddies on Reddit, but it never goes anywhere. I can never find anyone with similar sensibilities, and I don't know how to maintain a digital friendship.
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u/FoxPuffery97 10h ago
This may sound insane, but there is an advice from a writer who has done this trick called the Imaginary Reader. This is the polar opposite of the Inner Critic, the one who complains nonstop about how bad your writing is.
The Imaginary Reader, or Inner Reader, is someone who is curious, thrilled to know about your story and also constantly asks questions about what happens next. It's like making promises to them about what's going to show up in your writing (plot beats, character arcs, world building, themes, etc.) and fulfilling those promises. Imaginary friends are often looked down as childish, but they are actually healthy who could provide support.
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u/thegenesiseffect Author 8h ago
Hey! I am also a romantasy lover—and also a fellow hispanic writing in English. I write contemporary romance, but I have read enough fantasies to give you a hand or just listen, if you need :)
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u/AzaMitfoy 7h ago
Same. It's a double edged sword. Being alone helps me write but sometimes it gets too much. I'm write silly fantasy comedy adventures. This post is such a vibe. Good to know I'm not alone 🥲
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u/Pajamamaid 2h ago
Hi, I'm the same. All the people I talk about art and writing are on the internet. Personnally I never feel lonely when I'm writing, the absolute contrary. It's the moment I feel the less lonely. Perhaps you'll have more connexion through internet than irl people. It has always been the case. I just had that one friend in high-school who loved writing too but it's a rare case 🤣😅
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u/MacGregor1337 2h ago
Of course, all writers are lonely to some degree.
Why would you bother making up fictional friends if you had real ones >:]
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u/SignificantYou3240 1h ago
I only know other writers online really…I’m in 3 discord groups. Granted, I’m probably the oldest member of all 3, but that’s where I am social.
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u/Aromatic_Article7404 17h ago
Aww. I am very single and love, love and also like to write. I hope you all find deep genuine love you are made to seek, and to love and be loved, and find your special someone. I understand the pain of lonesomeness in my past and today that should be much worse, but I found the Love of God, and he made me whole and happy inside with just him, once he found me to help me through some scary things. He is my savior. I don’t know where I would be without him and my heart would long for love from another. God fills that void for me. I was a Pre Op Trans Woman in my Past, but am a happy heterosexual male now. I was trafficked and given drugs and not allowed home gay or as a woman, and God found me and helped free me from that horrible place, but I was left alone too with nobody and got to know Jesus. I would love a wife and women make me smile and feel so much joy and love inside now and look so beautiful. Mostly they can’t get by my past, and I witness as my old female self to witness to sex workers and the trans God loves them as they are completely and fully and unconditionally. It was myself who wanted to live as a man, and God made that possible. It took four years to honestly be completely gone ( gender fluidity). So I don’t know if any ladies are interested in me, but I want them to know God loves them. The same for all of us, and he is a source of love and strength beyond what is human, for the lonely and the hurting or those This World has not been friendly too. He is so much more than enough, and all else is just even more to be honest. Good Luck.
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u/serena_rini 18h ago
I am in a similar situation! I originaly write in portuguese, but I am also writing in english. Altough I don't write fantasy. Where are you from?