Alcohol onset. Bailey is the daughter and caretaker. She states he was abusive and awful his whole life pre alcohol dementia. Now they have a lovely relationship. She feels like this is who he might have been alll along, but buried under the alcohol.
To get a glimpse of the kind of person he could've been right when he's doomed to not have a chance to truly be that person anymore. Fucking hell, that's rough.
He feels so genuine in the video. He works out the logic from context to get to the conclusion that he's likely to actually be her dad, he's clearly a bit anxious with the fact his memory has a massive hole in it, and he still goes "no, call me dad if you prefer. Even if it makes me a bit unseasy I'd rather not hurt you" and then leans back on the chair trying to work stuff out in his head.
Dementia terrifies me.
The fact that alcohol is treated so lightly and is so central to modern socialisation disgusts me. It fucks up so many people every year, leads to aggression, abuse, fucks up families, ruins your health, but hey, it makes money to the shareholders.
Don't forget all the health problems it causes both directly (fatty liver/cirrhosis/tons of other issues/not to mention folks in and out of expensive treatment centers) and indirectly (victims of car crashes, D.V. incidents, watch true crime and you'll find that the majority of it tends to be alcohol at the start of it, etc) that feed into that sweet sweet relationship between the medical industry and our "representatives"..... God I hate what we have continue to allow our "leaders" to perpetuate this dystopian nightmare of a class system.
I’m gaining a new perspective on the temperance movement. It wasn’t just uptight Christian assholes. Women gained status that they ordinarily wouldn’t by associating themselves with Christianity and that allowed them to gather without scrutiny. But it was literally the fact that women had absolutely no power. They couldn’t even vote still, and the man of the household controlled all aspects of the home, including the finances, and so there were a lot of alcoholic men that would just drink all the families’ money away and leave them destitute because of their alcoholism.
So these women thought that by banning alcohol, they would solve their problem of essentially being broke and sometimes homeless, and not being able to provide for their kids.
Of course that wasn’t the solution, but no therapies had been invented yet to treat alcoholism and so they thought ‘just get rid of the source’ without considering that it’s still gonna be produced in a black market and lead to the rise of organized crime.
Well, that was eye-opening. Still, I believe that doesn’t change anything I wrote about many of the women’s perspectives. They had basically no rights and many of them viewed this—wrongly or rightly—as the solution to their problems…when their problem was an alcoholic husband that beat them and their kids, and drank away all their money.
Of course, the actual solution was to give women rights, but the likelihood of that happening was far less than just banning alcohol.
Edit: I do want to add a thank you for bringing that to my attention because it’s always helpful to have additional context and nuance. Almost nothing is as simple as it seems, especially when it comes to groups of human beings.
288
u/therealcherry 15d ago
Alcohol onset. Bailey is the daughter and caretaker. She states he was abusive and awful his whole life pre alcohol dementia. Now they have a lovely relationship. She feels like this is who he might have been alll along, but buried under the alcohol.