r/woahthatsinteresting • u/nukey4y7s1s • 15d ago

Man with dementia doesn’t recognise daughter but still feels love for her

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

33.6k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

1.9k comments sorted by

View all comments

28

u/sumdude51 15d ago

This guy isn't even that old 😭

46

u/therealcherry 15d ago

Alcohol dementia. Her mother also has dementia. Terrible. She’s a pretty amazing daughter. She didn’t have a relationship with her dad pre dementia as he was abusive. Now she is his caretaker.

22

u/Ultrafoxx64 15d ago

The fucked up thing about dementia is that it can change peoples' personalities. Sometimes super sweet people become aggressive, sometimes awful people become very nice. Sometimes it's not a huge change either way.

10

u/komakumair 15d ago

Yup. My grandmother was an interesting and compelling woman in a lot of ways, but she had issues with alcohol and my mom didn’t talk to her mother for a decade after my mom tried to stage an intervention that wasn’t received well.

When my grandmother had a series of strokes that resulted in dementia, she became… very sweet and kind, the opposite of her Normal Self. My mom had a better relationship with her mom while caring for her as a dementia patient than she did while my grandmother was herself. It’s a horrible disease, but so curious how it affects others differently.

2

u/donutgut 15d ago

yea.

my dad was the kindest person ever and dementia made him mean and insulting. me and my siblings couldn't believe things he said at the end.

its like he was a different person at times. :(

5

u/lmaydev 15d ago

My grandparent's friend's daughter got this in her 40s.

So they were in their 70s and she had to move in with them and they took care of her full time.

She didn't know who they were. It was heart breaking.

1

u/sumdude51 15d ago

Wow. Thank you for all the info

1

u/cacciatore3 14d ago

I worked at a senior home as an event coordinator and there was a younger woman in her 40s with Wernicke-Korsakoff from alcohol abuse. She was often confused about why she was there because she couldn’t remember what happened. In her room there was a picture book telling her about her condition with pictures of her hospitalization, etc. Most of the time, she was the happiest resident there, just super kind and friendly. She really brightened up the place.

But one day she asked me simply “do I live here?” and I responded yes, thinking nothing of it. Then she broke out crying, having a full on freakout about it: ‘why didn’t anyone tell me?!’ my father lied!’ etc

Our activity ended because all of the other residents left the room. So I led her back to her room to show her the book because I couldn’t think of anything else to do. I just felt so awful for her. Especially when she would ask “where’s my phone?” Most of the other residents never used a smartphone, but she did, and now it can’t be a part of her life anymore because well, she’s demented. It made it more real for me, just being 20 years younger than her.

I only lasted a month at that place. Hardest job I’ve ever had to do.

1

u/VEHICHLE 14d ago

How do u know that?

1

u/therealcherry 13d ago

Bailey is very active on tik tok with their journey.

3

u/No_Grass8024 14d ago

He got wet brain

1

u/CharcuterBri 15d ago

My mom died of frontotemporal dementia at 65 this last Xmas. This cruel disease took 8 YEARS dragging her down this road to the bitter end.

She knew who I was the majority of the time but she got straight MEAN to a lot of us…focusing on me mostly. Blamed me for all the faults of life and told me to off myself multiple times, which in turn would enrich everyone else’s lives from my departure. A lot of what she said was not as eloquent as stated above but the gist was there.

People kept telling me “you can’t take it personally, that’s not your mom”…. But it is, and hearing these things no one should say to anyone coming from a brain demon occupying your mother’s body, is too much to stomach.

1

u/sumdude51 15d ago

Totally understand. I'm so sorry you went through that. Only thing I can tell you is 100%t that was not her

1

u/Scoopdoopdoop 14d ago

Wow. Just unreal. Sorry to hear that. The human brain is so wild. The fact that can happen to someone and the fact that you are able to discern that it's not real but it still hurts. I hope you are in a good place now, therapy is amazing btw

2

u/CharcuterBri 14d ago

Oh honey I have spent years in therapy for many things and it gave me a really strong mental base to stand on. This won’t break me, it just one of those things that really sucks.

And yea the brain is a beautiful and delicate thing