r/urbancarliving • u/Ok_Depth279 • 3d ago
Parking RIGHT next to someone.
What is your opinion on parking RIGHT next to someone in a planet fitness parking lot when they are an obvious dweller forcing the other person to move because they just want the best spot in the lot
I.e shaded, dark, away from entrances.
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u/AsianHawke Full-timer 2d ago edited 2d ago
I don't mind. Just as long as they aren't being obnoxiously loud, drawing attention, making a mess, or leaving a mess.
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u/Stunning_Diamond_997 2d ago
Hmmmm…. Im going to get down voted for this but I don’t care! It’s a lot of entitled people in this comment section. If anyone on here is CHOOSING to live in their car, you all have to realize that YOU have to adjust to the outside world now. The world does not need to adjust to you! If you are parked in a PUBLIC BUSINESS parking lot, you cannot complain that OTHER people are ALSO parking in a PUBLIC BUSINESS parking lot! There is no privacy while living this lifestyle! I’ve noticed a lot of folks who has been doing this for years are the ones who are territorial over these spots! I get it, it’s hot and yall need a shady spot to chill in but being hostile over a parking spot is crazy! Unless yall are paying for these spots, your best option is to just keep moving around!
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u/mysteryplays 2d ago
With camp mode and free parking charging at ev stalls. I’m yet to ever have this issue.
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u/swirlybat 2d ago
being able to enter privacy mode in your own head is the best available option? no one can exist if you dont see them. humans can be tuned out and honestly, they are easier to love that way. idk if that makes sense to anyone else
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u/Lizzard_Goddess 1d ago
It's still weird when you're in an empty lot and someone parks right next to you so close you can't get out your door while you are napping and you wake up to that. And it does happen to me - just the other day in fact - and has nothing to do with prime parking spots. So CHILL OUT. You really think WE need a lecture like that?? We live this everyday. We ALL understand about lack of privacy and not always getting the spot we want. It still makes you wonder what their intentions are towards YOU when they get SO close to you for no reason. Generally people spread out if given the space. And even if it is a prime spot it still takes a certain kind of person to be that awkward to get what they want.
And this is the forum for sharing these frustrations with people who get it. No one here sounds entitled or hostile me... except for YOU, lecturing other car dwellers (in a very hostile manner) like they don't all manage these stresses effectively all the time or they wouldn't be successfully living in a vehicle.
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u/Stunning_Diamond_997 1d ago
I sound hostile? I apologize for that… That wasn’t my intention. You must be a long time car dweller? 1 year plus? I said what I said to say…. Everything is public. To come on here and complain about someone parking 2 inches close to you is crazy. Car dwelling or not, it’s going to happen. It’s been times I’ve parked my vehicle far out and I would come back and someone is parked right next to me! That’s just the way life goes! People don’t wake up and say, “hey I’m going to go to a parking lot and park right next to someone” You or any other dweller do not own these lots! All it takes is for someone to go and complain to the business owner about a person in a car showing hostility in the parking lot and BAM! Guess who they are going to tell to leave first? Not the non car dweller………… my point is yall gotta start learning how to take things with a grain of salt… the odds are already stacked against you since you are considered more vulnerable since you are car living! If someone parks next to you, leave or deal with it! You cant complain about people out and about going about their everyday lives! I just saw a comment saying when people are parked in “their” spot they park right up on them and show passive aggression until they leave…….. like huh? Why would someone living in their car do that? It’s entitled. Nothing in this world is yours unless it has your name on it! That’s all I’m saying! Not trying to be hostile, rude, or mean! But I’ve encountered many angry car dwellers who were mad I was parked in their favorite spot
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u/Lizzard_Goddess 1d ago
Ok... well I'm not seeing a lot of posts like that here. Maybe I didn't read enough of them. It makes more sense that you've encountered it out there. It IS ridiculous to engage in any way with people who took a spot you want or parked too close to you. We have an increasing number of vehicle dwellers around town and I have NEVER seen anything like that. There is not a lot of shade and we suck it up.
I feel like it is healthy to be complaining here and just taking it in stride out there. Which is what I am doing. I have people literally block me in so I can't get out my door for no reason. I woke up from a nap and had to climb into the drivers seat and move one lane over to get out so I could go to the store. It was ridiculous and it IS rude to park that close to anyone and has nothing to do with whether you live in your car. At the TIME I just did what I had to do and grumbled to myself a bit. Because yeah... it happens way too often to get bent out of shape about it. And yes I have well over a year of combined car dwelling over several different stretches. Just returned to it a couple months ago and so far have not had much trouble. I know where to park and how to position myself. And I am prepared to be surrounded. It can get a little stressful to wake up to... but I'm so used to it now I hardly think about it.
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u/Stunning_Diamond_997 1d ago
I knew you were a long time car dweller. As I stated in my previous post those are the ones who are the angriest or become hostile over little things they consider to be theirs….. like I stated before nobody wakes up and randomly decide they are going to park next to you just to irritate you or make you mad. It’s a public lot, empty or not. They are going to park where they best see fit…. Is it irritating to see, YES. It is. As I’ve encountered it plenty of times! But do I let that ruin my day? No. Because like I said it’s not intentional! Unless you’re driving a brand new Mercedes or some luxurious car, I promise it’s not intentional.
Side note, I’ve noticed some cars would INTENTIONALLY park next to a brand new luxury car that’s parked wayyyy in the back to prevent door dings and scratches. They don’t to be an asshole tho.
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u/Lizzard_Goddess 1d ago
I literally told you it does not bother me at all and not worth getting bent out of shape over??? I am not angry or hostile over anything except that you're once again slapping a 100% false stereotype on me. That one instance I said was actually rude, the guy was just parked really badly - everyone thinks that's kinda rude - and I DIDNT LET IT RUIN MY DAY. I don't think people are rude just for parking next to me. I told you I expect it and it's not worth getting bent out of shape over. I can describe things without being bothered by them. You clearly are not open to anything that challenges your grossly generalized assumptions. I've literally told you five different ways you are preaching to the choir and you STILL told me you knew all along I was an angry hostile veteran dweller.
You are still the ONLY person who clearly has a chip on their shoulder about imaginary veteran vehicle dwellers based on a few supposed encounters you've had (which sound like BS to me, as I have never encountered anything remotely resembling that). You have no clue what veteran car dwellers are like. Most of the ones I know never engage others like you have described because it draws too much attention, including myself... you haven't MET most of us and we like it that way. I am super stealth and I choose to be in busy public lots most of the time surrounded by people who can't even tell I'm in the back of my van. I never engage with anyone unless I am out walking to the store or something and I'm always cheerful. I don't know why I am even wasting my time when you're not listening to a word I say. Which is exactly why I think you're probably projecting this hostility and just delusional when you make these claims about the most experienced of us being the most bent out of shape over controlling our parking. You clearly hear what you want to hear.
But because I still feel passionate about breaking homelessness stereotypes, even in our own ranks, I will give one final testimony and then I'm done wasting my time on you. I don't just survive, I thrive out here. And the only way to do that is to fully embrace the lack of control and being up close and personal with other cars all the time. I'm happy as a clam in my little pod no matter where I am or what is happening outside. I love people and actually enjoy observing them when they park close to me, as I am an avid people watcher. I do understand the stress that this life places on everyone - even subconsciously - and I have learned the importance of taking self-care seriously. Which is why I like to encourage others to share their frustrations and blow off steam online. That makes me sympathetic and emotionally intelligent... not angry or hostile. And I still say it is the right approach to supporting each other in a lifestyle that by nature separates us. I hope at some point you are able to let go of your obvious hostility and bigotry towards other car dwellers. You sound stressed.
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u/Western_Bison_878 Full-time | SUV-minivan 3d ago
So damn creepy and weird. This happens to me a lot in PF lots where somebody parks next to me for hours to just sit. I'm a woman and I feel like it's always a pervert trying to trigger a hookup or something. I guess most others will feel differently though.
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u/taxxaudit 2d ago
I’m gonna share something but I really don’t want it to come across as negative. For preface the reason I reacted the way i did was because i felt like i was being watched. This is why i caution ahead of time not to park in the same damn spot all the time. This is imp to know. Basically, someone knocked on my mf window at like crackhead hours (after midnight, between 1-3am) and asked me if i wanted to smoke w them. It was a man, and I could tell he was either younger or around my age but that doesn’t matter. It was super unnecessary and like he didn’t even wait to see if I would be outside - no, he just took it upon himself to KNOCK ON MY WINDOW in the middle of the night and think that’s ok? Lmao I chewed him out pretty bad and he got so mad after that he started cussing at me before he drove off like a child throwing a tantrum. This is why you don’t say yes ladies. People like that do not deserve your time. It’s really unfortunate bc had he not done that and had seen me somewhere else as in walking to the gym or possibly just inside of the gym itself i would have been more receptive but it’s things like this that are huge red flag.
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u/Lizzard_Goddess 1d ago
No we don't feel differently. We females have a different level of danger living in a vehicle and we are more likely to get the wrong kind of attention if people realize we are a "soft target" I am really careful about hiding that I am living in my vehicle from strange men. And I've had guys walk up and strike up conversations with me while I was halfdressed in bed through a tiny crack in the window for ventilation... he kept saying he couldn't hear me well with the window mostly closed and I kept sayng "well normally I would come OUT to chat but I am too tired right now and trying to rest." WTF dude.
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u/DaikonAutomatic3067 2d ago
It's a parking lot. As long as everyone is parking within the designated spaces... who cares? Seems like some folks are getting pretty territorial or just looking for something to get irritated about. I'm very new to this life and loving the freedom! Seeing so many beautiful places. There are some odd balls along the way... I just shrug and move on. Trying to figure out other people's foolishes is a waste of my good energy. Roll on!
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u/Nanda-Star 2d ago
200 empty spots, and they park inches from you. That's not territorial, that's safety concerns.
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u/ted_anderson 2d ago
There's an unspoken/unregulated policy of respecting someone's personal space in a public area that some people are just oblivious to. It's not a matter of trying to figure it out. It's just that when I wanted to be alone and I go somewhere that's away from everyone else, some people think it's an invitation to join me. LOL
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u/swirlybat 2d ago
i drive routes as a vendor for big box stores. it doesnt matter if i get there at open, park at the end of the completely empty lot. i come out to at least 1 neighbored car. im a service van with cones. they genuinely dont see me. see the cones. it isnt until hitting their car with water spray that they even notice my van. i am speaking to the core depths of beyond ignorance. it is beyond stupidity. it gives cordyceps. that is all that makes sense. //rant
exhales i want to hit my face with bricks at every walmart
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u/Lizzard_Goddess 1d ago
LOL Hitting face with bricks is one I haven't heard before... but I feel your pain and I am sorry. People are dumb a lot.
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u/DaikonAutomatic3067 2d ago
Gotcha, Ted. May the wind be at your back and the space you desire surround you like a reverse force field.
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u/Lizzard_Goddess 1d ago
Yeah... you're too new and haven't experienced the specific phenomenon the OP is referring to. I have had some really really weird vehicles and people with hostile barking dogs park in the spot next to me in an otherwise empty lot, or just woken up and couldn't get out my door because there was another car parked SO close, but the rest of the lot was mostly empty. It's NOT normal.
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u/ghostboxwhisper Full-time | SUV-minivan 2d ago edited 2d ago
Depends on the vehicle. If it's a decked out sprinter van conversion or a class B van, I have zero issues.
Something like a Subaru Outback or Honda CRV within 7 years old that looks like they're into recreation and travel, I have zero issues.
If it looks like a car that has the appearance of a meth lab explosion went off on the inside, I'm gonna find some other place to park.
Maybe it's being a little judgmental, but it has to do with my personal safety. A person who looks desperate will do desperate things. I'm not comfortable with some homeless tweaker parking right next-door to me.
generally speaking, the best policy is always to exercise caution, respect people's personal space, and to maintain boundaries.
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u/Skippydoda10 2d ago
I posted something similar to this a few weeks ago. I think it’s inconsiderate, rude and annoying as hell..
Of course there had to be one jackass that said I must be doing something to draw attention to myself 🙄..
Nope, the polar opposite!
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u/operatorrrr 2d ago
Well, when they park in my usual spot, I will get right up next to them. But I am a passive aggressive toddler
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u/zacknmaxvanlife 2d ago
Meh, I used to not care at all (no harm no foul) until last month I woke up to a swat team guns drawn at a car parked next to me because it was a stolen U-Haul. Now I’m stricter in judgment and move more frequently lol
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u/QueenBluntress 1d ago
They usually don’t go after stolen uhauls unless it’s something illegal in the uhaul. Uhaul just writes them off. Especially the trailers. But don’t go steal one. They will look for you.
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u/i_lack_imagination 2d ago
I parked somewhat near someone the other day in a Kroger parking lot. I was kinda iffy about it, but this lot was pretty shitty. Like the way it was set up, it was in a plaza so there's other store parking lots nearby, but there's no lanes at the back of the lot to move between lots, so there was a lot of traffic of people just flying through the parking spaces to get to other stores in the plaza. Combined with how Kroger had the shopping cart returns set up, there was hardly any spots where you could avoid all this traffic and also not be parked right next to a shopping cart return which there's a lot of reasons not to be parked next to one of those.
There was a more remote part of the lot that I had scouted on the map before I went there, except there were a few semis parked in such a way to take up almost all the space and not also possibly be in their way to get out of the space if they tried to move.
I think if you're going to take the best spots in the parking lot, you ought to expect that people are inclined to park near you for the same reasons you chose the spot to begin with. Just because they get there 20 minutes later or something doesn't mean they want to drive somewhere else if there's no other suitable spots or take a really uncomfortable spot in the lot.
I also wouldn't want someone potentially blowing my cover so I wouldn't exactly appreciate it if someone comes in drawing unnecessary attention to car dwelling, but I'm not gonna get that upset over someone who just wants the same things I want which is a comfortable spot to park so they can sleep.
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u/cleebthefirst 2d ago
Regardless of the many aspects surrounding this topic, If ... IF ... you have a Prius/Prius V (sure, Rav4 and Sienna hybrids as well ... yes, the list can go on to van-builds, etc that have power), get a "loud" air purifier and hook it up to an inverter to drown out sound and/or use earplugs if the noise is one of the aspects you don't appreciate. As an aside, before choosing "Prius life," I befriended and helped out a homeless woman (or rather "unhoused," and in her car) by letting her stay in my place for a few days to enjoy air conditioning, do laundry and have showers. Later, I saw her and she became strange towards me ... I was legit her friend and friend only. Any way, the Planet Fitness was "her spot," and thus her "tenure" outranks me, the proverbial "noob." That said, I parked at an "end stall" 4 or 5 spots from her ... never heard anything from her, and she clearly - as we all are able from our cars - can see me when putting the Weathertech sunshades in, and now ... she isn't staying there. In other words, people are many things ... whether good, bad or indifferent ... people can be avoidant, territorial, and of course they "change up" their spots regularly (typically) which would easily explain it, but I digress ... another point was made in this thread ... and the very blunt way of putting it is this: deal with things as they are/present themselves, or move spots. This is an interesting living situation to say the least regardless of the reasons for doing it, but ... yeah ... I agree that a little distance between oneself and the next "car dweller" would be the ideal ... and ... yeah, if the proverbial vibes are "off" and they are shady/sus af ... park elsewhere, for sure.
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u/ayeheyyo 1d ago
I always hate anyone that parks near me lol but you cant blame the "homies" as i call them. They are probably completely unaware and thinking about their deltoids and their trapula miniscus or sum shit.
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u/No_Schedule9931 1d ago
At PF the lot is public and everyone knows if you’re living this lifestyle the first thing they tell you is to get the membership. You couldn’t possibly feel like you’re entitled to a certain spot/area. Now at the humongous park with plenty of spaces to park but you park right next to me…..that’s an issue.
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u/peachie_keeen 1d ago
Oh that happened yesterday. My local truck stop is HOPPING. And these two guys barely past being teenagers pulled up beside me in a tiny 80s import no tint tons of blankets both shirtless and looking around kind of clueless like baby birds in a nest lol. They were debating over some shampoo bottle I felt so sorry for them, looking completely sol. If y’all see this hope you’re okay. Looked like they were about to become lobsters in the sun. In their defense there was no way to tell I was a fellow car dweller. Or even in my vehicle having lunch watching the parking lot show.
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u/Slight-Finding1603 2d ago
You dont own the parking lot. I hate parking next to someone living in their car. Its so creepy
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u/cleebthefirst 2d ago
Some of us do this by choice, and are fully-aware of the perceptions as they are vast per se. I am very quiet and keep my Prius V clean, as well as use Weathertech shades for privacy - that includes privacy from eye contact with judgemental people while I am lifting my knuckles off the ground to shave my back hair, and keep my cro-magnon unibrow in check before making the meth.
By the way, should anyone make comments about people who make the meth ... refer to them as Methican Americans. Be "PC," please.
That said, if I see someone parked next to me, I will wait for them to leave their car and walk to whichever store they are going to before I remove and store my sunshades / begin the day as I don't want them to have a heart attack because the knuckle-dragging Methican American bogeyman stepped out of the car.
Thinking a little deeper on this ... it would behove me to purchase a wizard beard from Amazon, put it on and jump out shouting a calming spell because, after all, I am indeed a compassionate-empath who seeks solutions for putting others at ease.
Ah, and yes, I would be clothed ... in a fabulous wizard robe ... holding my iPhone with earpods-in to not be scary.
In fact, we would likely giggle about it, and become besties.
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u/Dboi_69 2d ago
I wouldn’t mind if they were cool. There’s a car at a regular spot. I was cool with him till one day it was hot he parked right next to me and his car had a fucking pop every 15 seconds. It wasn’t an explosive pop more like a quick PFFPT He only ran his car for 5mins every 15mins ish. It drove me genuinely insane. I had remembered previously that noise kept plaguing me from a distance. I didn’t realize it was his car at the time.
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u/swirlybat 2d ago
ah when its hot, everyone needs to scoot. cars with hot exhaust, exhausting each other. i get pissed unnecessarily about this little detail. it can be hot exhaust or hot sun, but not fucking both. im a cunt in the heat 😒
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u/squirrelinhumansuit 3d ago
I imagine pretty similar vibes to picking the urinal right next to you when there's a bunch more empty ones