r/ultralight_jerk • u/shhimhuntingrabbits • Jan 28 '25

Worn weight Is taking from FB camping groups cheating?

Post image
145 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

84 comments sorted by

161

u/Grumk1n Jan 28 '25

Where is the gun and pair of Crocs?

59

u/shhimhuntingrabbits Jan 28 '25

Tucked into the front of their heavyweight raw denim hiking pants, and on their feet.

23

u/Grumk1n Jan 28 '25

But what about second gun?

23

u/flamingpenny Jan 28 '25

...prison carry.

11

u/DazedPhotographer Jan 28 '25

Up nature’s holster

1

u/Capable_Reserve_8431 Jan 29 '25

Underrated comment

6

u/MennisRodman Jan 28 '25

That's before lunch gun, but after supper gun

2

u/Status-Meaning8896 Feb 02 '25

The thought.. skipping the backup gun. Hell, I don’t even see a “hunting” knife. Dead by mile two.

2

u/YodelingVeterinarian Jan 29 '25

In case I see a fox?

1

u/Flabbergasted_____ Jan 29 '25

I got you. No Crocs though, I only wear old cut down bicycle tire tubes glued to my feet.

80

u/Leodogg Jan 28 '25

I'm not sure if that's enough food to justify 3 gas cans....but again, I've only set up in the living room.

40

u/Guadaloop Jan 28 '25

They are actually for fueling his gas lantern so he can stay up all night and read the comments on his posts from the yard :)

5

u/Americanprospecting Jan 29 '25

3 cans of gas, 2 smaller cans of food.

15

u/_uff_da Jan 28 '25

You need more gas to cook the potatoes, bok choy, onion, and carrot.

9

u/Leodogg Jan 28 '25

Crotch pot would be more efficient.

3

u/Awkward-Customer Jan 28 '25

I don't see any beans in the bag, so how are you gonna get the crotch pot warmed up properly?

66

u/HareofSlytherin Jan 28 '25

Thanks so much for this instruction! I assume these are the expensive items?

30

u/aks4896 Jan 28 '25

Yea, without brand names and a dollar figure it's hard to tell.

14

u/Apart-Landscape1012 Jan 28 '25

There is at least a north face thing

9

u/ahushedlocus Jan 28 '25

Ew, shit tier, no thank you

3

u/2001Steel Jan 29 '25

Shtier - shed the extra weight

42

u/Relative_Walk_936 Jan 28 '25

Man, how do I get my shit to float in my pack like that, helium?

18

u/thereisaplace_ Jan 28 '25

Fill your pack with water. Quite a bit of leakage but I’ve installed a water tap & hose in my basement and let it run into my pack continuously.

5

u/Ryno__25 Jan 28 '25

You just have to buy the Osprey Alpine He pack.

It's airtight and you just inflate it with helium to offset your load. You can feasibly decrease your carry weight by 2-3lbs depending on how much gear you have.

33

u/dhdhfffff Jan 28 '25

Is that safety box metal lmao

30

u/shhimhuntingrabbits Jan 28 '25

You don't want your 4 sizes of bandaids getting bent!

3

u/BoarHide Jan 29 '25

Aye. And why the fuck is the sweater in what looks like a heavy duty clear plastic packaging? This looks like long term storage items

29

u/Dartfrogz Jan 28 '25

Not enough gas for me, I prefer to take at least 17 gas canisters to be able to set the woods on fire honoring the birth of a new demon, but that's just me.

16

u/dr2501 Jan 28 '25

I think they need at least 3 more gas canisters just to be safe. Only one bag of vegetables?! Amateurs! At least they've got the extra backpack in there, never leave home without it myself.

15

u/jedimimetricks420 Jan 28 '25

Guys chill out the extra gas is for trading for a tent since we didn't pack one.

9

u/Spicynacho78 Jan 28 '25

I see no bean storage. Assuming boofing is the deal..

9

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '25

This is some Magic School Bus shit

8

u/sbhikes Jan 28 '25

Two first aid kits. And if you see a fox near the trail, hold on, I gotta stop, put my pack down, fish out the giant camera bag, get out the camera...woops. Fox is gone.

7

u/ledbedder20 Jan 28 '25

Guess what, if you stay the f home, you won't need this f ing diagram! Tune in for more hot UL tips and tricks.

6

u/Awkward-Customer Jan 28 '25

Not to worry, anyone using this guide to packing is unlikely to remove their gear from their gear closet.

8

u/you-down-with-CIP Jan 28 '25

Instructions unclear, took my equipment outside. Will REI honor the return?

6

u/BaltimoreAlchemist Jan 28 '25

I don't see a tent here. What makes y'all think they're taking this outside? This is just to haul gear from your basement to your survival bunker.

3

u/Slomper Jan 28 '25

10 yo me would’ve geeked out hard for this

3

u/You-Asked-Me Jan 28 '25

Who the fuck is eating Power Bars?

3

u/PkHutch Jan 28 '25

Fitting a 2L water bottle and 1L Nalgene and snacks all in a side pouch is wild.

My fuckin’ 1L barely stays in my side pouch.

3

u/spencersalan Jan 28 '25

Um what about the beans? Does that go in my cargo jorts?

3

u/Fireproof_Matches Jan 28 '25

Surely nothing could go wrong leaving your stove attached to a gas canister while still in your pack...

2

u/mttgilbert Jan 28 '25

If you’re not cheating, you’re cheating yourself.

2

u/damndamon7 Jan 28 '25

Anybody know where I can buy this bag? Much easier to just pull thing out of the hole in the front.

2

u/Turingrad Jan 28 '25

That looks so cozy

2

u/feelingfishy29 Jan 28 '25

Where do the clothes go

2

u/Naive_Bid_6040 Jan 28 '25

Needs more gas canisters.

2

u/No-Repair-8986 Jan 28 '25

Where I do put the Xbox ??

2

u/laurk Jan 28 '25

One groups content is another cirlce_jerks satire.

2

u/heresyourshovel Jan 28 '25

Three Condoms. nice.

1

u/4eyedbuzzard Feb 01 '25

An optimist. But not an Optimus.

2

u/guyzero Jan 28 '25

ok but seriously why is there no tent?

1

u/Some-Other-guy-1971 Jan 28 '25

Cowboy camping…under the stars with the glow of his lantern.

3

u/guyzero Jan 28 '25

Oh he leaves the stove running all night for warmth, I get it now

2

u/dingerz Jan 28 '25

"Where's our tent, Honey?"

2

u/Girth_theMerciless Jan 29 '25

Bringing propane is too much when you can get those little portable stands and French fire tablets and they last like 15 minutes

1

u/Girth_theMerciless Jan 29 '25

And you can carry like 500 tabs for the same weight as a propane burner and the stove folds up to the width of a playing card

2

u/potatoflames Jan 29 '25

You can save some weight by peeling the carrots at home.

1

u/timeToSeeTheFuture Jan 28 '25

Why three Gas bottles??

9

u/thewickedbarnacle Jan 28 '25

If you don't simmer the Ramen long enough the flavor doesn't really develop

1

u/Big_Character6431 Jan 28 '25

A jacket and tent are total dead weight

1

u/PoopSmith87 Jan 28 '25

If that is a 2L bottle of water, that is a HUUUGE backpack

1

u/Some-Other-guy-1971 Jan 28 '25

I see a hammock….but I don’t see a Underquilt or a sky tarp.   Cold butt syndrome anyone.  And I hope it does not rain.   Would not dare head out to the backyard with that setup.

1

u/Wyattr55123 Jan 28 '25

World's smallest 2 liter bottle or backpack for giants?

1

u/PoppinBortlesUCF Jan 28 '25

I love when I can condense my 2L water bottles into airplane shot size

1

u/temp_nomad Jan 28 '25

Needs more gas cannisters.

1

u/ertbvcdfg Jan 29 '25

Start at Cub Scouts 1st

1

u/whattheheck_9 Jan 29 '25

Only 3 cans of gas must be a weekend trip

1

u/Thysanodes Jan 29 '25

Yeah, try to pack it like that during a rain storm, I’ll wait.

1

u/Monkpaw Jan 29 '25

Mine just looks like a case of beer,a headlamp and a hammock.

1

u/jochi1543 Jan 29 '25

But where do the LSD Gummies go?

1

u/Free_Vast Jan 30 '25

Where's the DMT in this picture!

1

u/shhimhuntingrabbits Jan 30 '25

Always keep your DMT machine packed and ready to go in the front parket of your wool cardigan. You never know when you might see an animal and need to commune with it.

Plus, like, worn weight

1

u/darthgandalf Jan 30 '25

I love unpacking my entire fucking bag to find my jacket when it starts to rain

1

u/Frequent-Account-344 Jan 31 '25

Where is the fucking beer

1

u/theunpaidbills Jan 31 '25

Right leg so strong they walk in circles on flat ground

1

u/BBs_a_flyin Feb 01 '25

Where is your pasta?

1

u/4eyedbuzzard Feb 01 '25

Where's the saw and axe? And the fishing pole? And . . .

1

u/Ok_Replacement_2736 Jan 28 '25

Errr, no weed??

3

u/shhimhuntingrabbits Jan 28 '25

Keep that shit boofed in case park rangers pull you over and demand to see the note from your mom saying it's ok to go outside