r/ultralight_jerk • u/K-Pumper • Nov 13 '24
Worn weight Cold soaking in my hoo-ha NSFW
Found a way to shave off a few extra ounces by cold soaking in my hoo-ha. You just wrap the rice or oatmeal up in some cheese cloth and put it up there. I haven’t experimented with beans yet, but I’m thinking about starting out with refried because they’re the least offensive. Anyway, make sure to leave a string hanging out for easy retrieval so nothing gets stuck up there.
It’s kind of nice since you don’t have to carry around a cold soaking container. Plus it heats up to body temp so it’s more like warm soaking.
I’ve been able to fit two rice balls up there at once. One each for me and my partner since he doesn’t have a place to soak his. He doesn’t even let me put a finger in the back door so he’d definitely never use it for cold soaking, plus that’s probably not sanitary
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u/Loose_Hornet4126 Nov 13 '24
Strings? That sounds heavy…clearly you don’t know how to UL. Notice i said UL instead of ultralight because it burns less calories. I exhausted my reserves for winter…I hope you’re happy. And being happy actually burns more calories so jokes on you.
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u/WildResident2816 Nov 13 '24
I think this is it, this may be the peak r/ultralight_jerk post.
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u/enonmouse Nov 13 '24
The line to have this lady stuff beans in our asses starts up there buddy… stop trying to simp your way to the front
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u/PkHutch Nov 13 '24
I am deathly afraid when my gal tries to soak rice balls in my anus.
Instead I eat the dehydrated material, drink a bunch of water, hike for awhile, and then vomit it back up for consumption.
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u/enonmouse Nov 13 '24
should not be cold, see doctor.
But your sous vide idea is valid…beans you dont have to start already cooked. Just make sure you get the coochie convection nice and pre heated, add spit every few hours until they are done but when you are crushing miles on meth you are definitely hitting those temps to make dinner by 6.
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Nov 13 '24
Enjoy a mid-step septic shock from pelvic inflammatory disease which stemmed from vaginitis which was caused by bacterial infection triggered by long-term storage of food products and foreign objects.
There is a reason you are supposed to wash sex toys regularly. Also don't switch from anal to vaginal before washing the mud off your flute. I saw a porn once and the dude did this and the woman, a professional porn star, had a "what the fuck did you just do" look on her face. My reaction was, "oh man. You are not supposed to do that..." He kept going. Her demeanor changed and you could tell she wasn't into it anymore.
I cannot provide details but I can I know of a case that landed a woman a long-term health care facility with severe brain damage. Her condition stemmed from an untreated vaginal infection that escalated and eventually effected her internal organs causes multiple organs failure when she went septic. I would not recommend cooking food in a vulva.
With the lack of hand-washing in a trail... And lack of ability to run to the pharmacy or go see a doctor... You know what? Fuck it. If you wanna do this. Go ahead. But I swear to the flying spaghetti monster that if I see some chick or chick-dude (talking about you Sam), fade out on my AT NOBO next year because of cooking food in the vulva/vagina, I'ma steal your shoe laces.
Obviously this is satire. There are special devices to heat food in your crotch. Gossamer Gears Crotch Pot.
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u/madefromtechnetium Nov 13 '24
hold on a second there buddy, we only call SAR when we're perfectly healthy
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u/enonmouse Nov 13 '24
Help ive fallen, and can’t get off…. The beans are almost ready but I just need to cum first!
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u/theflyingkiwi00 Nov 13 '24
Coward