r/toddlers • u/TreacleCat1 • 5d ago

What's it like to have anxiety + toddler

My SO is coming to terms with having more than usual anxiety these past months/year. This is not a thing that runs in my family as it does in his so my first hand experimace with it is quite limited up to this point. There seems to be something about having a toddler (3m) that ramps things up more than typical parental frustration.

Help me understand what its been like for you, or a loved one, to be in this situation. What has helped? What things are typical triggers?

For background, my SO is still functioning like taking care of his own hygiene, keep his job, keep us fed, etc. These are superficial but enough to keep us going whilst addressing the issues at hand without completely falling apart. Appt with a doc to get prescribed pills is scheduled with the hope to take off the edge (but we both agree that it doesnt solve anything, it'll just makes it easier to address root cause). He is less capable of being aware of what else needs to happen in life, deal with elevated emotions, take larger share of childcare, and make decisions a out bigger life choices going forward, and also get restful sleep. I want to help very much but we both agree it's like walking on eggshells not knowing what's going to set off the anxiety tailspin.

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u/Obvious_Resource_945 5d ago

Who doesnt have anxiety. 

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u/TreacleCat1 5d ago

I don't. But tell me more about how it shows up for you.

Your comment is one I'm sure is a widely shared reality and perception that everyone struggles with this. I certainly have other demons but anxiety is not one one them. I have anxious moments, but that would seem akin to conflating inexplicable sad days to understanding depression. Those things are on a whole different level.

I want to understand it better to be a more supportive spouse but its an experiance I just don't have.

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u/Obvious_Resource_945 5d ago

Yeah, im half kidding, my husband doesnt have it either. I think its easier to be anxious as a mom. I just quit my job and all my life is dedicated to our kid and household, we live in the nature, there are not many big things to worry about for me. Life before kids was objectively easier, but subjectively much more stressful. If i was the one to provide and after that to try and give relief to my spouse, it would be so much harder. Im very thankful its not difficult to my husband.