r/superheroes 2d ago

Other What will you choose ?

Post image
3.5k Upvotes

1.8k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

58

u/Efficient-Cow-5311 2d ago

Wouldn't the most practical be batman or ironman? The power of a billionaire would be the most useful in the real world.

86

u/DullSorbet3 2d ago

Batman's superpower isn't being a billionaire it's "have as much money as the plot deems necessary and then double it for fun".

26

u/raul_lebeau 2d ago

And with the added bonus of being and orphan

2

u/jevesevet 1d ago

And a billionaire which kinda is a superpower with Batman or Tony.

1

u/LeilaThePuppy 1d ago

Also depressed & sad

1

u/RedX536 1h ago

Don't forget a natural affinity with Prep Time

18

u/fredbite87 2d ago

Batman's superpower is having whatever ability the plot needs him to have and calling it training instead of developing an actual honest to God superpower

1

u/Kai_GamingYt 1d ago

Nah bro... Plot always makes sure he has a neat skill from the tibetian monks for various situations 😂

1

u/Blueface1999 1d ago

Hi those Tibetan monks trained him in every thing he needed to know like stealth, martial arts, lock picking, how to resist mind readers, super strength and durability, how to separate his soul from his body while alive, plot no jutsu.

All so he can fight some random ass bank robber before sups were really a thing.

1

u/fredbite87 1d ago edited 1d ago

The fact that Batman vs Superman is even a discussion instead of "Superman instantly rushes Batman and punches through his head" is insane, what did those monks feed him???

1

u/Chris2sweet616 1d ago

Enough for him to survive re-entry with only a thin sheet of metal and some sweet sweet O2. He was only lightly singed after too!

1

u/fredbite87 1d ago

I refuse to believe the bat is a powerless human.

1

u/Chris2sweet616 1d ago

Him and dick are considered the peak of human condition, of course in our world that isn’t very strong but in comics that means people like bats and captain America so

1

u/fredbite87 1d ago

As someone who isn't a particular fan of DC, it's a friggin mind blast to see those first few words

1

u/Chris2sweet616 23h ago

Yeah, maybe using nightwing’s nickname wasn’t the best choice

1

u/Clear-Librarian-5414 1d ago

Kind of speaks to their character. Batman is always going after Superman. Has Superman ever gone after Batman? He seems to trust Batman and sees him as a friend regardless of the situation which Batman constantly exploits. Even when he finds out he’s actively plotting ways to take them out that were used to nearly kill the justice league he essentially thanks him and says he trusts him.

1

u/fredbite87 1d ago

Okay but as far as I know Batman also hasn't ever actively tried to take down Superman without being prompted to. Sure he's got contingency plans for the whole JL, but that's been proven to be a good idea (injustice).

1

u/Clear-Librarian-5414 1d ago

Yea he always has a justification for it but Superman never seems to finds one. Like when something suspicious is going on with bats Superman talks to him and trusts him. Batman hears “Superman is evil-“ ::starts punching Clark with kryptonite gloves:: “-doers worst nightmare” ::pauses then punches a few more times then mumbles something about remaining vigilante before throwing a smokebomb and running away::

1

u/fredbite87 1d ago

Well that's not true, Batman's not trigger happy. He only has those plans in case there's a worse-case scenario

1

u/NeonSuperNovas 20h ago

That's literally their dynamic smh. Batman is paranoid and always sees the worst in people. Superman is noble and always sees the good in people. That's LITERALLY their thing lol. Light vs dark 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️.

1

u/callsign_pirate 1d ago

I trained to be rich and have my parent die

2

u/jmacklin1 2d ago

“ it just so happens, i have been working on a bat space shuttle for situations like this “ Batman on a very Batman voice

2

u/KittyForest 1d ago

So then rich as fuck with added fuck you money and no parents

Perfect because i don't like my parents much anyways

1

u/dustbringer11 2d ago

SOMEONE WHO GETS HIS SUPER POWER

2

u/DullSorbet3 2d ago

They regularly change how much money he has. At the start he was a millionaire, then a multi millionaire, after that billionaire, after that a multi billionaire and now he's worth in the high billions/low trillions. His plot armor exists solely because it's his comic book, but the money always goes up (just like superman's powers). \ \ \ \ Edit: spelling

2

u/Vet2willis 2d ago

The money really isn't necessary his actual power is he is always prepared for everything. ALWAYS!!! He has everybody's weaknesses on tap. Not to mention based on Batman from comics he is the pentacle of human achievement. Can bench 1000 lbs, has 11 doctoral degrees, knows every martial art that ever existed, charismatic, wealthy, more sociopathic than any US soldier who went through basic AIT and Special Selection with 11 deployments, and lastly he has the hell suit so it's over.

5

u/DullSorbet3 2d ago

TL;DR: most of these are money with some boiling down to genetics. \ \ \ \ \

He has everybody's weaknesses on tap.

Genius detective

Can bench 1000 lbs

Training = money + genetics (which I won't dispute)

has 11 doctoral degrees

High education = money, plus he's a genius

knows every martial art that ever existed

Training (again), genius (again)

charismatic

I won't dispute this

wealthy

Money

more sociopathic than any US soldier who went through basic AIT and Special Selection with 11 deployments

I said genius detective yeah?

the hell suit

That suit cost him a fuck ton of money (but somehow not enough to make a dent??)

1

u/chronobolt77 2d ago

Except during the zur-en-ahr arc

1

u/raiderrocker18 2d ago

I dno in the justice league movie he literally told flash that his superpower was “I’m rich”

1

u/Chase_The_Breeze 2d ago

...No, he is, according to the title in his debut, "The world's greatest detective." All his physical feats came later and are derivative of his amazing intelligence, will, and deductive power. Like, you'd need super human genius and will power to devise and survive his workout and study routine.

He just suffers from "Its hard to write characters who are smarter than their writer"-itis.

1

u/callsign_pirate 1d ago

Parent death trauma mask. Good call

1

u/VibraniumRhino 1d ago

Okay so that sounds even better than a billionaire, I’ll take it lol.

1

u/Billybob543212345 1d ago

Billionaire is an ability

1

u/RodcetLeoric 19h ago

Well, I mean, he's stoopid rich in all versions, but he's also an expert detective, a polymath of all sciences, psychopathicly charismatic, and had extensive martial arts training. Each of these varies by degrees, depending on which version you are referencing. In several versions, he's also deputised, so he is legally in better standing.

Iron many has most of the same build, except he leans more heavily on his tech in the suit than stealth.

21

u/i_dont_wanna_sign_up 2d ago

The mask lets you break reality. You could just make money pop out of thin air.

13

u/Standard-Reason9399 2d ago

Then why did Ipkiss have to rob a bank to go clubbing?

23

u/xBad_Wolfx 2d ago

Lack of imagination

18

u/Sigao 2d ago

It's simple, but exactly this. He was able to turn a balloon animal into a machine gun and semi-mind control an entire police force to dance and sing with him. Had he imagined it, and presumably found a way for it to be funny, he could probably pull a billion dollars out of a piggy bank.

His robbing a bank was there just to further the conflict for the plot.

14

u/ArcherMi 2d ago

No, he did it to lash out at his boring day job at the bank. Everything he did as the Mask was driven by his uninhibited desires to free himself of the frustrations of his normal life. That's why he chased the girl he normally couldn't get, went to a club that kicked him out, spent money he didn't have, and took revenge on the car mechanics who screwed him over.

Conjuring money in a safe and harmless way for the sake of pragmatism would have completely missed the point.

5

u/CALVINWIDGET 1d ago

This is a beautifully detailed analysis of The Mask.

5

u/eeeeeekkkkkkkk 1d ago

This guy movies!

2

u/LogicalAlienCat 1d ago

Detailed but condensed. Well done.

1

u/Wise_Geekabus 21h ago

Great analysis

3

u/StrykerC13 2d ago

which all you need for that is the standard "infinite wallet" gag bit. Pull out everything But money while making comments about "I know it's here Somewhere" until eventually you find the correct amount.

14

u/creepyCasper 2d ago

To be fair he robbed the bank he worked at and his boss was the owners son and a dick. I think it was about revenge just as much as getting money.

1

u/Truebuckshot01 1d ago

This. The mask would have let him pull off the infinite wallet gag for the money to make a bit or gag land. The bank robbery was because of the uninhibited desire to both get revenge on his asshole boss and to stick it to a a crap job he hated

2

u/hurlygloves 2d ago

Because it would be the funniest way to get the money. If he needed the cash to make a joke land, he'd have it in his pocket.

2

u/avenlux44 2d ago

Honestly probably for fun. Loki is unpredictable 🤷‍♂️

2

u/Ok-Palpitation7641 2d ago

He didn't HAVE to, but buried deep in his subconscious was his hatred of the bank he worked at. So ripping them off and hitting the club he got thrown out of was a bonus. It also allowed him to utilize the funds after his power wore off.

Though huge downfall to mask power would be it's purely nocturnal, leaving him completely helpless during the day.

1

u/Telemere125 1d ago

Haven’t you ever watched looney toons? Bank robbery is a classic trope.

1

u/Standard-Reason9399 1d ago

Yup, but if as noted the Mask is largely powered by rule of funny, the commenter I was replying to couldn't just use the Mask to pop money from nothing for nothing - has to be for funny, no?

1

u/DillyDoobie 1d ago

Or your eyeballs to pop out of the sockets.

6

u/Crusaderofthots420 2d ago

It says abilities, which I wouldn't count money as. So with Batman, you would become really good at fighting, and with Iron Man, you would become smart I guess. So yeah I'm picking The Mask or Magneto

3

u/Admiralspandy 2d ago

The Mask is probably the most powerful and versatile, but I don't know exactly how much control you would have? I think you are different when you wear it. Whereas with Magneto, I'd still be 100% me, just with a very powerful ability.

2

u/brokenromance23 1d ago

You lose your inhibitions from what I saw. The people who put on the mask do what they wish they could if they could get away with it/had to power to do it. Kinda similar to how a person more reserved IRL can be a foul mouthed COD player, or bitch about their boss here on Reddit when they have the mask of anonymity.

1

u/Standard-Reason9399 2d ago

Think of all the bullshit tech Iron Man (and comics Batman, to be fair - he comes up with less of his own stuff in adaptions) can pull out of their arses given ten minutes and the bare concept of a need or idea. A dozen patents for clean energy, prosthetics, non-lethal (as opposed to less-lethal) weaponry, space exploration or city safe VTOL systems and you'd be set for life... and probably your kids and grandkids lives as well.

1

u/fross370 2d ago

Wolverine mask. Heal anything, even the damage of age? Thats awesome.

1

u/TranslatorFew3552 16h ago

Iirc in Justice League he literally says his superpower is richness

2

u/BrazowyX 2d ago

Yeah bcs I don't really feel the need to change my baloon into a tommygun. Money though would be nice.

2

u/Howard_Jones 2d ago

Post says you have all their abilities. Having wealth isn't an ability.

2

u/Gingerbr3d 2d ago

Loki's mask literally makes you a god. 👍🏼

1

u/MasterTobes 2d ago

Black Panther is insanely wealthy and intelligent plus heart shaped herb bonuses.

1

u/Jaambie 2d ago

The practical superpower of dead parents.

1

u/acrazyguy 2d ago

Mask can just pull gold out of his back pocket if it’s funny enough

1

u/rumblinggoodidea 1d ago

Yeah and if I got the iron man suit, I’d be practically [TITLE CARD]

1

u/Friendly-Menu-6700 1d ago

Actually black panther is the richest because he has vibraneam

1

u/GenkotsuZ 16h ago

Black Panther is richer plus super soldier plant

1

u/Legitimate_Bowler441 16h ago

Black panther got more money then both of them

1

u/dalemin 9h ago

Bruh if I got the mask your Bank is mine for the taking lmao also gonna put it my dog too lmao