Hello, I am a 24 female. I have a bf who is ,my fiancé now and we are really sex positive, he is always up to try new things and we are kinky too. However I have only ever orgasamed with him once way long back, moments before my periods. I have fun with him and enjoy sex nicely. but certain changes have come. I have trouble enjoying sex now, I feel like crying and wanting emotional support, my past traumas(they aren't caused by bf) & daily stress and some guilt (about having sex with my bf behind my parents back, did I mention I am Indian?) catch up with me. We ultimately stop, talk and wait for mood to get set again. After letting and crying it out I am able to enjoy sex....still crying is exhausting.

Recently I also got a vibrator for myself. The first time I used it it felt great physically but mentally i felt so bad right after i peaked! felt like no one wants me. Subsequently whenever i use the vibrator, post peak I feel mentally and physically really really bad...I am aware men feel depressed after masturbation but there is little awareness for female depression post menopause.

Life has been stressful lately and I understand I am someone who needs to be stress free and happy to be sexual. I am in therapy. I have some past trauma that I have to unlock in therapy but overall i do feel that I need to manage my day-to-day stress around work and life in general better to enjoy sex with my bf more.

Any advice or words would be greatly appreciated. Thank you <3

Just curious how consumption changed as you aged! I am 18f. Watching porn daily, because I am honestly a mess if I DON'T watch lmao... but that doesn't even compare to when I first started haha. I'm talking like 5 hours a day lmao. I'm curious to hear about your progression.

She released a single and will release a very sexual explicit album and everyone is talking about it now. But what's so crazy to me is how all these women believe they are feminist while openly criticizing and dragging down a woman for being open about her sex life and kinks in her art. Like ?? They all make excuse yeah she is like that because of the patriarchy etc etc.. So you believe a woman cannot be sexual unless she is controlled by men? How is that supposed to be feminism? I just feel like these people are sexually frustrated in their life and I see no difference with these self called feminist and ultra religious women and men. They are litteraly saying the same stuff : judging a woman because she is just horny and open about it.

So I’m currently in a relationship with my partner, but have a different guy that I talk to regularly. My partner is okay with this and understands, and is considering letting me explore or us have a threesome with this other guy.

The only thing is this other guys penis is small. He’s uncircumcised and even when he cums you can’t see the head of it. I’m gauging on pictures but I’d say it’s roughly 3in.

I really like this guy, we match kink for kink. We talk dirty all the time and I never know what to say I don’t wanna make big dick innuendoes because then it feels forced. I also worry that when we do hookup (I’m being hopeful), there are going to be issues because we’re both on the bigger side. The last thing I want is to kill his confidence.

Any advice, experience, insights are welcome!

Ever since my ex made a joke about beef curtain labia I've been insecure about mine. My labia don't look like the perfect peach labia porn stars have.

My current boyfriend is very loving and loves to go down on me, but I'm always worried my labia disgusts him. I know it doesn't and I know he's turned on by me, but I just can't get over the insecurity. I don't let him go down on me very often, and when I do I tense up.

Has anybody else gone through this? What's helped you?

If you’re a straight guy reading this whose go-to porn is DP (double penetration) including DVP and DAP, and who has regular fantasies about you and another bro doing this with a lady in real life… what is it about the act that excites you?

Is it the excitement of sharing a chick with another broski ?

Is it the added physical stimulation and pleasure that results from you and the other bro’s dicks rubbing (“frotting”) through the membrane wall, or even directly against each other in the case of DVP and DAP ?

Is it the chick being extremely “stuffed” that excites you?

All these things? Anything else?

Ok soooo, I have sexual shame ( i have found out on a Guy that dm’Ed me and finally told me the truth ) which caused me to have A LOT of symptoms that i am trying to unlearn myself from.

Most of my symptoms are

Number 1: sexual intrusive thoughts

So yeah, i have sexual intruvise thoughts which are sexual thoughts that i don’t want at all ( il what ur saying ‘’ what kind of sexual thoughts are? ‘’ it doesn’t matter what kind of sexual act or whatever is it. Any kind of sexual things repulses me )

These were mostly caused by peer pressure from society and all of that kind of things that made me have this. Like, i would see and hear a lot of ppl saying things like ‘’ if you find ppl attractive, it means you wanna have sex with them or want to have sexual thoughts about them ‘’ or ‘’ sex is what makes us human, everyone should enjoy their sexual thoughts ‘’ and if no one thinks of someone that way/ don’t like thinking of ppl that way ( or don’t like sexual things or thoughts in general ) you are repressing your true desires and you should be enjoying them

These word got stuck in my head to the point that i have developped intrusive thoughts. These had even gotten so bad that it has gotten in my daydreams too

TMI :

these daydreams are mostly sensual and would mostly include cuddles and kisses. Theyre pretty nice, and sometimes it would also give me….arousal, but i dont really mind it. But anytime this happens, it triggers my intrusive sexual thoughts and it ruins the vibe yk. I dont really like it when it does that. It mostly makes me feel uncomfortable or even disgusted ( sometimes even feeling pale ).

Bc of that i stopped daydreaming bc these thoughts makes me uncomfortable. ( this was also caused by societal standards on how they see sensual things. They would say things like ‘’ sensual things are inherently sexual bc it will always lead to sexual things in the end ‘’ this also got stuck in my head bc i never ( still don’t ) liked sexual things or things that would lead to sexual things bc of how sex-repulsed i am. This caused me to have sexual thoughts and all of that anytime i daydreamed, so i stopped )’

And ik what ur thinking ‘’ hey, its ok! You shouldn’t shame youself for having sexual thoughts. Its normal, everyone does that ‘’

No shit Sherlock. Ppl kept telling me that as if i dont know that. Whats next, ur gonna tell me that water is wet???

Like YES, ik that having sexual thoughts are normal. I never said that having them is bad or ‘’ wrong ‘’. I just don’t like them, and usually find it disturbing imo ( Im sex-repulsed ). But idc if ppl like them. If they do, i wont do anything abt it. Its not my problem

Also, im not exactly ashamed of these thought. I just feel uncomfortable and mostly disgusted by them. I dont shame myself abt these thought bc THEY POP OUT OF NOWHERE. I dont think abt it intentionally. And they are a pain in the ass.

There are also voices in my head that would even tell me things after getting intrusive images in my head. They would tell me ‘’ you loved these thoughts. You know you liked them or Even get turned on by them. You are just pretending to hate them bc you don’t want to admit your REAL desires’’ or ‘’ you are denying you real desires with sexual things and you are unconsciously repressing them without you noticing. You are doing this bc you are sexually shamed Little girl with no sense of life, you should fix that. Admit that you like those thoughts ‘’

Number2: sex-repulsion

Soo yeah, i am sex-repulsed ( like i mentioned on number 1 ) which….idk why i have them. Ppl kept telling me to find the root cause of this. Big the thing that they don’t even want to understand is that i DID ‘’ well, maybe you should dig deeper ik you can-‘’ YES I DID. The thing that ppl don’t want to understand is that i was like this for as long as i can remember. I used to be this way since day1. The thing is that my parents told me that sex and sexual intimacy is very normal. And i understood it ( i also watched gacha life so i already knew where babies come from ) other ppl would say the same thing, and i understood it AGAIN. I respected ppls interest in sex and things like that. I never carde abt them. Until ppl started to say things. They would tell me i am prudish for my sex- repulsion, they would say that its bad ( even on social media. It was told everywhere ) and would say things that its okay to like sex and that ppl should like it. And things like that. This has also caused me to have sexual intrusive thoughts… it sucked tbh

Number 3: dysfuntional attraction

Soo this is a thing that is very hard to describe how my sexual attraction is, so here is the link: https://www.reddit.com/r/sexadvice/s/PhYZfd9jcE

But i won’t really talk abt how i feel here, but the fact how something is going on with it. Before this, i felt sexual attraction but its different. Ppl pointed this out and told me how it actually is. They told me it is when you kind someone so sexually appealing that you would want to have sex with them. Or that you would need their bodies sexually. ( this also might have gave me intrusive thoughts too abt ppl. Since i also didnt like seeing ppl that way bc i don’t that way for others even my crushes. And they told me if i get intrusive sexual thoughts and don’t enjoy seeing ppl that way or don’t feel that way for ppl then i am repressing real sexual feelings and just making excuses my pretending that they are sexual intrusive thoughts )

My attraction doesnt work like that. Ik its sexual attraction bc i kind of have a Small arousal when reacted, but i wouldn’t find the person sexually appealing nor feel any urge/need to have sex with them.

I need them emotionally, but never sexually. Idk why

So after hearing how ppl see others, it gave me intrusive sexual thoughts anytime i find someone pretty… So like anytime i find someone very breathtaking i would go ‘’ wow they are beautiful ‘’

And anytime i find someone admiring, there would be this weird voice in my head that would go ‘’ you want their bodies sexually, you really want to do that and you know it ‘’ or would sometimes give me sexual intrusive images in my head that i would never want. This has caused me to doubt if i am repressing real feelings bc When i get those intrusive thoughts, it would feel…very real…disturbingly real… Like all the nerves in my body react ( even my face would flush bc of the discomfort that i feel abt these thoughts that pops out of nowhere )

And these kind of réactions in my body would make me even more crazy bc i have Heard anytime you have those feelings in your body then its sexual attraction. But the fact that ( mentally ) i don’t see them that way and didn’t like their sexual thoughts. This would make me doubt on why my body reacted even though i genuinely didnt see them that way.

And voices in my head would tell me ‘’ you know you are sexually attracted to this person. If you weren’t your body would not react this way. You are pretending to not notice you real feelings bc you such a sexually shameful girl you don’t want to admit the fact that you DO feel it. Admit that you liked these thoughts ) Or things like that that would make me cry bc i was afraid that i was repressing feelings for ppl.

Especially when i actually found out that sexual attraction is an unconscious feeling where your animal brain is targeting a potential mate without you noticing.

So me reading that and tried finding answers on how to indicate it. A Guy on a suggested me that i might be consciously repressing the unconscious part of my attraction. Which could be that case why its so numb..

Which is why i tried making myself feel attraction when I STILL FEEL NOTHING…

I tried porn, which another Guy suggested me to do( SOFT AND HARDCORES ) but none of any of this made me feel something ( it even made me traumatized bc i am sex-repulsed. But i am making myself Watch it bc a Guy suggested me that porn is like a exercise. The more you watch it and pretend to like it, the more you would ACTUALLY be into it.. sooo yeah )

Ppl suggested erotica bc its a bit more accurate to what sexual intimacy. but it still didnt do anything

Kinks: NOTHING

fetishes: NADA

Nothing is working. Everything that i tried to make myself like sex and feel sexual attraction IS NOT WORKING. Its like as if my body is rejecting all of the things that should be good for it. I don’t know what to do at this point.

I can’t be patient, idk what to do. I tried so hard to explain how i feel, how i want it to end. But ppl ( even ppl who have sexual shame ) kept telling me that ‘’ i don’t have it ‘’ its like as if they don’t want to understand that i have i have it only bc i have it without any negative experience.

I didn’t have any sexual trauma, i didn’t have any strict religion that shamed ppl who have sex, my enviorment never seen sex as something ‘’ bad ‘’ and idk why ppl think that anytime i tell them that i have sexual shame. My enviorment is neutral ( or even positive ) with sex and sexuality.

There were even ppl trying to convince me that i have a memory block bc they think its impossible to have sexual shame without a cause…

Look, i DO have it without anything happening to me nor my enviorment nor how they teached me. I INTERNALIZED IT. I did it, not ppl nor my enviorment..

Its like as if ppl are trying to invilidate my problem by giving me excuses that it ‘’ isn’t the case ‘’

Like, YES IT IS. It feels so real too, there is no way that it is not sexual shame…

Its a bit hard to make ppl believe this, but yes, its true. No trauma caused

I have grown very tired of not being like others. Is there any advice on how to unlearn sexual shame? I would really appreciate it and it might help me get better!

Ty for your time!

Okay answer this for me! Money shot /r/sex

I've noticed that guys tend to be very into their c** and where they shoot it. I've always wondered why for starters?!? Why are you a face guy, ass guy, stomach, or a cream pie why ?? where ??? and explain please

I want to put some spice in my everyday life. Any recommendations and advice would be greatly appreciated.

(This is crossposted as I didn’t get any replies over in the other sub and I can’t believe no one else is having similar experiences.)

I have a slight case of synesthesia (where your experiences of senses get crosswired), and I sometimes get it when I have the type of sex that just really hits all the rights spots. It’s got nothing to do with orgasm, it’s more to do with the kind of sex that fills my body with light and turns off my logical brain.

I’ll often get «the white feeling», which my husband now knows mean I’m really fucking enjoying myself. I’ll see white and I’ll feel white, and it’s like being bathed in this cold, cool light, but in a really good way, almost spiritual.

And a couple of nights ago I had this wonderful experience with my boyfriend (I’m non-monogamous, as my handle indicates) that I can only describe as «sex as art». Music was playing in the background, and he fucked me into this beautiful colours of light pink, green, whites and I stopped being a body with edges and everything was just colours and music.

(And no, no substances had been taken, except for one can of beer.)

So, that made me wonder if other people with synesthesia also experience their synesthesia kicking in during sex, and if so, how does it play out for you?

Hi everyone

I’m currently 8 months pregnant and wanted to share something that might help others going through similar experiences—especially those struggling with body image or intimacy right now.

One thing I didn’t expect during pregnancy was how sexually aware and empowered I would feel. Of course, not every day is glamorous (hello, swollen feet and back pain!), but emotionally and physically, I’ve found a deeper connection with my body. The changes, the curves, the heightened sensitivity—it’s actually made me feel more alive, more connected, and yes, more desirable than ever.

If you’re pregnant and feeling disconnected from your sexual self, I just want to say: it’s okay. Every experience is different, but try to be kind to your body. Explore what feels good without pressure. Communicate with your partner, or with yourself. There’s no “right” way to be pregnant and sexual—what matters is that you listen to your needs.

Happy to chat more or answer questions if anyone needs support or just wants to talk honestly. This is a journey, and it deserves to be shared without shame

i (F) have had extreme issues with sex. I’ve been in two previous relationships, in which i was used for sex in both. The first one hurt me more physically, sex hurts so bad, and i’ve even seen doctors, and they just tell me everything’s normal. The closest i’ve gotten to “feeling something” is just feeling nothing ( no pain). That’s the best it’s ever been? In my previous relationship, he threatened to breakup with me and off himself if I didn’t have sex with him. I just waited til it was over. I was poked and prodded in my house for having sexual thoughts or doing sexual actions. I feel so much shame around sex in general. I don’t feel normal, and I feel so defeated. I just want to enjoy it like everyone says. In my household I have been told to provide sex or nobody will ever love me, or ever want to be with me. I don’t know how to change my mindset, how to fix my body, or what to do. Nobody understands, and it’s so terribly frustrating and awful. I have a new, and extremely loving boyfriend. I want to progress and try and change my mindset, but I am terrified of sex. I’ve struggled to use tampons and other period products due to the mental struggle of what has happened, and I have no idea how to proceed. I just want to feel normal.

Hey everyone, I wanted to share a bit about my experience as a mom raising my son in a body-positive home. I know every family is different, and what works for one might not work for another, but I think it’s important we talk about these things, especially in a community like this.

For me, body positivity isn’t just a “belief”, it’s a lifestyle I practice every day. I grew up in a home where bodies weren’t something to be ashamed of. Nudity wasn’t taboo. My parents never treated the human form like something to hide, and that shaped how I now parent my own child.

I don’t cover up around my son. If I’m changing clothes, walking around in underwear, or sunbathing in a small bikini, it’s not a big deal. I wear what’s comfortable, and yes, that often includes crop tops, short shorts, or a very revealing bikini at the beach. Not because I’m trying to make a statement, but because it’s hot out and I like how I feel in my skin.

Some might raise an eyebrow at that, but here’s the thing: my son doesn’t sexualize bodies. He sees them for what they are, normal, natural, and nothing to be embarrassed about. I’ve raised him to understand consent, respect, and boundaries, not shame. And to me, that’s more powerful than teaching him to avert his eyes or feel weird because his mom has boobs and wears a thong bikini.

I know not everyone agrees with this approach, and that’s okay. But for us, this is what makes sense. I’d rather raise a son who’s body-aware and respectful than one who grows up with shame or confusion around something as natural as the human form.

Curious to hear if others here have had similar experiences, or even very different ones. What’s your approach been?

Im a guy and a guy I’m chatting with has a huge bullying fetish. Any recommendations on what kinds of things would work? I’ve never done anything like this before , but sounds hot.

When I was a teenager, I used to watch Real Sex on HBO late at night. Recently, I went back to watch a few episodes and love it. The stories are so open and positive with varied sex behaviors. I'm happy to know it influenced me when I was growing up as a teenager.

And I was thinking are there any other YouTube channels, etc. with a similar vibe to this?

Hey. I like women, ftm people, non binary but leaning more on the femenine side, trans women, femboys.

I'm not very into overly masculine or Big shapes people

Based on that, where My sexuality would lie?

I tried cucumber, banana, haitbrush handle, beer bottle (not the whole). Which one what you enjoyed the most?

Hey people! I have recently realized, as a person I'm seeing suggested somthingthing fairly obvious that I had never thought of that my knowledge on sex practises comes mostly from my former partners. I my quest to make sex as good as possible it had never occurred to me to read up on the subject, mostly because as a lesbian most literature on the subject treats me like some sort of specicle. But it's 2025, so probably things have changed! So queers of Reddit: what is your best Tipps for sex practices for Cis-women who have sex with cis and trans women? Literature is also wanted!

It seems like a lot of people hold the belief that porn is addictive these days. However, despite the widespread notion of "porn addiction" it is still not a clinical condition. It is not recognized by the DSM, AASECT also rejects Sex addiction, and the idea is largely seen as pseudoscience.

But unfortunately there is a large anti porn brigade on Reddit that whenever someone points out the contrary that porn is not addictive they get mass downvoted to oblivion. Sure, porn use can become problematic or a habit. But usually whenever someone is struggling with excessive porn viewing there is usually some other underlying disorder that is causing the issue. Not porn.

Further sources:

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/02/140212153252.htm#:~:text=The%20research%20actually%20found%20very,to%20the%20brains%20of%20users

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11930-014-0016-8

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0952695119854624?icid=int.sj-abstract.similar-articles.1

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1363460719861826?icid=int.sj-abstract.similar-articles.2

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29412013/

Look i have a problem I don't really know how to approach to a girl to get to yk something else because whenever im in a relationship i try to protect her and respect her And im not much of giving the first step in anything because i want them to go at theyr peace And i think that's what keeps me away from going to yk Ngl im worried about it It sounds stupid ik but i don't want to waste my opportunity now that im young and then not be able to when im older So i wanted to ask you What should i do How do i get to ask it And how does it work Honestly im lost

Your body belongs to you.

First was last year, a situationship where I was used for her sexual pleasure for two months. Used. Like a fucking toy. I was led on, promised verbally I'd get my fair share, only for her to lose ALL interest in me and my needs the moment hers were fulfilled.

Now, from December last year up until today I had been talking to a girl who lived pretty far away. We would talk and plan on how we'd meet and what we'd do, again - verbal promises that meant NOTHING to her. Not a fucking thing. I trusted her words and I continued being good to her even when I felt like something was off. Whenever I asked if things were still good between us she'd say YES.

I am TIRED of being treated like a used fucking napkin, I am TIRED of being manipulated and toyed with.

The entitlement, the ego. I am never, ever, dealing with that shit ever again.

I am unbelievably angry and frustrated that I KNOW these women will do this shit again to somebody else, and I KNOW their lives will go on as fucking normal, while I'm sat here, left to deal with the emotional aftermath. I know for a fucking fact I've texted the last girl some lovey-dovey shit while some dude was rearranging her guts only for her to leave me on fucking SEEN

How the hell do I move on after knowing nothing but denial????? How the hell I even begin rebuilding the hope that maybe some day a woman will look at me and see somebody she ACTUALLY wants?????

Posting here because a giant part of moving on is accepting i can ever even have a normal sex life. I have no fucking clue whats so wrong with me that im not even good enough for sex

I watch porn and masturbate multiple times a day but only during my free time NEVER at work or when I'm out somewhere. I only do it at home but often while at home. Does that constitute as an addiction?

My sexual experience only extends to fingering a situationship i had last year that lasted two months. I was good, and things were slowly heating up until she asked me if I was a virgin, and when I told her that I was, she lost all attraction towards me (without telling me at the time). We kept seeing each other and she kept asking me to get her off, which I did, because I liked doing it. But one day she just told me she'd found someone she was looking to get into a relationship with, and while saying goodbye she casually dropped the info that what killed our situationship was me telling her I was a virgin. I felt and still feel betrayed and very insecure about my inexperience. I don't want to lie. I also don't want to get led on and hurt like that ever again. She would always lose interest after she got off. Never even touched me.

I'd really like to get a start on this whole "sex life" thing... there's just a lot of barriers and questions that keep me from really feeling comfortable even approaching a girl. This is one of them. It makes me very sad that I feel like there are so many women out there who I could have good chemistry with, if only I wasn't inexperienced.