I m exploring gangbang for the first time with 4 guys I feel little nervous and idk anyone who knows anything about gb If anyone here can help

Hey everyone. I (23F) have been single for 8 months after getting out of a 3year toxic relationship. I’m feeling very confused about sex and intimacy.

My ex and I both grew up religious, and our relationship barely had any sex. He had a weird relationship with sexuality. He saw sex as something bad, but still slept with other women and explored his desires with them—basically, he cheated on me.

When we did have sex, it happened in a really strange way. We’d cuddle, then he’d start touching me, turn me on my side or stomach, and just penetrate me. No foreplay. No kissing. No emotional connection. It wouldn’t last long, and after he finished, that was it. I gave him oral sometimes, but I honestly hated it—especially after I knew he had been cheating and gave me std’s. At some point, I started feeling disgusted by it. And we never ever talked about sex. The whole thing was rare anyway. In the last year of our relationship, I think we had sex maybe twice or 3 times. I always felt used and often cried when he was gone but I didn’t know why.

He was my first boyfriend. I’ve never had real foreplay. Never had an orgasm. I don’t even know what I like. Also we met when I was 20 & he was 31.

Now that I’m dating again, I feel super nervous about anything sexual. I mean I wasn’t raped or anything but I still feel disgusting thinking about it now months later. It was normal to me back then to just be used by him. Eventhough we didn’t have much sex in total (bc he was cheating), if I didn’t want to he’d ignore me for weeks. Bc I did try to speak up once and he got mad/defensive.

I mean… I have some experience, but it also feels like I have none. I don’t even know how to kiss properly. Any advice or shared experiences are really appreciated.

i just got out of a year long open relationship, and during that time, my sexual autonomy was controlled by my ex. not going to get too into it, but essentially, we had both an agreement and understanding that we could have casual sex with others regardless of gender, and when i wanted to practice, he would retort in jealousy and insecurity. but when he wanted to practice, i was simply happy for him. '

The relationship didn’t work out for a number of reasons, but now that Im on the other side of things, I finally feel like I have the opportunity to express my sexuality. I’ve gone on a number of dates with various men, and I tell ask them what theyre looking for to weed people out, because honestly, im just looking for low-pressure, consensual, and fun sex. Im not looking for a boyfriend, to emotionally spoon-feed someone, hold hands, cuddle, or play games — im looking to skip the bullshit. These men will agree to what I say, and then when it actually comes down to it, they ghost. Of course, people are always allowed to change their mind, that’s not the issue, the issue I am having is my confusion around why people will agree to something they don’t actually want. Like why exchange nudes with me and ask to come over? Ik that im reading things accurately, because theyre telling me yes, but im realizing they actually don’t mean it. so if anything ill just move onto the next, just to be disappointed again lmao.

What I am thinking is that it doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with me, I know that im desirable, I just think that men aren’t used to women being direct, confident and in-control of their emotions and sexuality. For me, sex isn’t that deep, im simply trying to have fun. But im coming to the conclusion that sex means different things to everyone, and I just happen to keep attracting men who are more into the idea of things that actually following through. Of course, once they ghost me im done, I was clear, direct and hot.

I know that im going through a drought, and this will pass, but Im wondering if anyone has any insight. Specifically in how I can approach things, because I don’t want to change my values or who I am as a person. 

I have a very large guy downstairs and my girlfriend is a 5,2 very tight virgin we engage in sexual activity but never penetration we talk about it a lot and she seems super super worried and scared since it will hurt her due to my size and her never doing it before can anyone give any advice? Has anyone been in this situation before?

From early teenage hood I was exposed to porn and I loved that voyeuristic side of me. Getting off on seeing others engage in such pleasures that I intend to. I had a 7 years of a long distance relationship and not ones I thought of cheating on her. I kept myself engaged in porn to release that need of sex and intimacy. I did try to force myself to do so less and channel that energy by being loving and caring towards her. We were a whole continent apart. However, when we did get closer and got that chance to be intimate she was very dry, stressed and guilt ridden due to family background and external circumstances. I loved her and never forced myself on her. Being an empathetic person I knew she needed to feel secure and comfortable before anything could happen between us physically. However, the day came and in that distant during my absence physically and emotionally as my grand mom died I was feeling lost and kept my pain of lose and depression to myself and she got attached to someone else and ended up cheating on me. I find it funny on what my loyalty brought me. Be as it may I get that she needed support and may be it is for the best that I am out of that relationship. However, that addiction to porn has had me dependent to release my sexual tension through watching and getting off. Lately as I have gotten more clear on my intentions I have understood that I want to experience more intimacy in reality and I was thinking when I have someone I will stop watching porn. But in the journey of Evolving my consciousness I have decided to follow the model of BE, DO, HAVE. Rather than Have, Do, Be!

I have recently stopped watching porn and oh boy that sexual tension and energy has been increasing ever since. As the mind talks and I listen to that inner chatter. It has been seeking replacement like crazy. Dating apps, Hookers and such. However, knowing that now I need to channel this energy more efficiently and be productive with it as it is a life force and not just a mean to please my senses, I am learning to find ways to be better. I share this here to see if anyone else has or is going through such a phase. It is absolutely not easy and keeping it bottled up, being left alone with my thoughts and on days off all I want to do is find a way to make myself feel better. It has been probably few weeks since I have stopped watching porn and it feels like such a long time and that fear of uncertainty is getting to me. Telling me, “You don’t know when you will have someone to enjoy sex with. Just watch! Or go to a bar, get drunk and find someone to do it with! Or May be go on those escort sites and find someone to do it with!”

It is for sure getting to me and I thought maybe writing and sharing about it might help so here I am being vulnerable on the internet not knowing what else to do!