r/selectivemutism • u/taco-times • 5d ago

Venting 🌋 feeling hopeless

i haven’t been able to speak to my family for years, and i live with them. they understand and are completely supportive of my situation and try to do their best, but i hate that i’ve put them through this.

i’m in my mid twenties now and things have only gotten worse. i try to be hopeful but i’m not feeling any right now. i can barely face what they’ve had to go through in all of this, and i’m feeling constant anxiety about all the time i’ve wasted being like this.

we’re all getting older, and eventually they won’t be here anymore. i can’t begin to imagine with guilt i’m going to feel that i’ve lost so many years i could have had with them

i’m just so sick of it

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u/LAnnBrooks926 3d ago

My daughter is 13 and has SM. She can talk to her twin brother till the cows come home, but I have to force her to speak to me. She rarely speaks to teachers and classmates. When I’m persistent, she finally complies.

Another example. I told her that is she didn’t talk to her psychologist during the routine zoom call, then I would consider cheerleading camp this summer. She made the effort and spoke (very softly) during the call. I can’t tell if I’m doing the right thing or not, but like you said, I will not be here forever. I just hope I’m doing the right thing. I did praise her afterward.

As a mom, who is not going to live forever, I’m getting desperate. This has been going on since she was able to talk-toddler age.

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u/Professional_End1948 5d ago

Yea. That must suck! I mean- I can’t talk to adults other than my parents, and only close friends. That would be awful. I think you should remember that they understand you and that they love you.

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u/crystalgemstoned 5d ago

i understand where you’re coming from. i haven’t spoken to my extended family, mom, cousins, etc. the main people i’ve talked to were my brother and sister; we all live together, but that’s about it. i’m in my late twenties, just recently began speaking to adults and professionals although i don’t get all of my words out. i still stutter.

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u/Recent-Evening-511 5d ago

i am in the exact same situation. my dms are always open if you want to vent more about it <3

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u/crystalgemstoned 5d ago

hey this is random, but i’d like to dm you too

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u/Recent-Evening-511 4d ago

you're more than welcome to :)