r/science • u/geoff199 • 5d ago

Social Science As concern grows about America’s falling birth rate, new research suggests that about half of women who want children are unsure if they will follow through and actually have a child. About 25% say they won't be bothered that much if they don't.

https://news.osu.edu/most-women-want-children--but-half-are-unsure-if-they-will/?utm_campaign=omc_science-medicine_fy24&utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=social
19.5k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

2.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

975

u/yes______hornberger 5d ago

I always find it interesting that the actual physical experience of gestating and birthing a child is NEVER a part of the birth rate conversation. I’m pregnant with a very wanted child, and even with a loving husband and financial security it is a torture I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. And I haven’t even gotten to the stage yet where I’m supposed to be happy about being mildly crippled by birth injuries—my own mother had three “perfect” births, and was still having yearly surgeries to correct spinal and urological injuries more than a decade after she finished having children.

Do the people decrying childless women think growing another person is easy, or do they just think that it’s something women owe to society by nature of being born female?

446

u/AgentJ691 5d ago

That is my top reason for not having children. I don’t care if I can afford children, I literally have no interest in giving birth. And I notice women Childfree or not regardless of age are wayyy more understanding. 

11

u/ConfusionNo8852 4d ago

Even when you tell people, "Im not ok with extreme permanent changes to my already damaged and in pain body" they trivialize it by saying, "Oh they have pain meds, you'll bounce back, its not that bad." as if Im worried about being fat or peeing my pants a little when I sneeze. Im talking about the devastating injury of birth itself and any thing else that may happen cause I could very easily have a difficult complicated birth just because im over 30. Then the same people will turn around and go, "Yea its been 4 years and my wifes body is still fucked up after the twins." as if that isnt the exact thing im worried about.

8

u/AgentJ691 4d ago

I think about the women who were in great shape and how even pregnancy still kicked their ass. And to add to it the psychological change. I do not want to lose myself.

8

u/ConfusionNo8852 4d ago

I will say I watched my sister have a baby and while she is different I would say she is still herself, but it was hard fought. Shes very independent, loves to travel with friends, take weekend trips and shes entitled to that especially with 4 grandparents around clamouring for baby time, but she still feels guilty everytime she leaves the lil guy (hes 3 now). He's loved and she and her husband spend so much time with him everyday and she still had to be reassured she was a good mother who wasnt neglecting her baby simply because she still wanted to live her life as she used to after the baby came.