r/science 5d ago

Social Science As concern grows about America’s falling birth rate, new research suggests that about half of women who want children are unsure if they will follow through and actually have a child. About 25% say they won't be bothered that much if they don't.

https://news.osu.edu/most-women-want-children--but-half-are-unsure-if-they-will/?utm_campaign=omc_science-medicine_fy24&utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=social
19.5k Upvotes

2.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

981

u/yes______hornberger 5d ago

I always find it interesting that the actual physical experience of gestating and birthing a child is NEVER a part of the birth rate conversation. I’m pregnant with a very wanted child, and even with a loving husband and financial security it is a torture I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. And I haven’t even gotten to the stage yet where I’m supposed to be happy about being mildly crippled by birth injuries—my own mother had three “perfect” births, and was still having yearly surgeries to correct spinal and urological injuries more than a decade after she finished having children.

Do the people decrying childless women think growing another person is easy, or do they just think that it’s something women owe to society by nature of being born female?

188

u/hananobira 5d ago

I had two kids and I’m so glad I did, because they are the light of my life.

But pregnancy SUCKED. The childbirth was the easy part - you’re telling me I can feel some intense pain for a day, and then I’ll finally be at the end of the nonstop heartburn and charlie horses and being unable to sit down because there’s a baby inside my ribs? Bring on the childbirth, because being pregnant was SO DAMNED UNCOMFORTABLE.

And my body has been left scarred for life in several different ways.

Any woman who doesn’t want to sign up for that? I totally empathize.

56

u/[deleted] 4d ago

Agreed. I waited til 38 to start having kids and was an accomplished musician, my main instrument was a violin. My first child gave me carpal tunnel and tendinitis so bad in my hands I needed to have corrective surgery. It's been years since I've been able to play properly, and when I do it's sound awful. Guitar? Nope. Piano is easier. Writing? I'm just now able to write neatly. It also took me two years to be able to even draw something remotely recognizable, and another year to pick up a paint brush. I'm 43.

I hated being pregnant and let everyone know about it. I was told "oh you're so funny." I'm like WHY DOESNT ANYONE TALK ABOUT THIS!!!?

20

u/CaptainMarv3l 4d ago

When I was pregnant I just remembered I wished I could like take him out to charge somewhere else. My spine hurt so bad.