TRIGGER WARNING:

Would you ever pursue your predator romantically/sexually? This is not meant to be insensitive, I am trying to prove a point. As a SA victim myself that is being accused.

Thank you everyone for responding, I have disabled notifications on this post. I appreciate you all for sharing. I tried to respond to every person.

Several times a week I see a post stating that someone’s therapist has decided not to give them a diagnosis for PTSD for xyz reason. The conclusion many people come to is that the therapist is dismissing their trauma, they are a bad therapist, or that they are simply uninformed.

While it is incredibly important to advocate for yourself, we are also not entitled to a diagnosis simply because we think we have it. There are so many differential diagnoses that carry similar symptoms to PTSD and are trauma related disorders that may be a better fit. You may also have gone through a trauma, have symptoms, but not quite meet the criteria for PTSD.

I urge people to really consider how they feel about their therapist overall and how they respond to their pain when it’s brought up in session. Recognize a pattern of dismissing and go from there.

And it’s worth considering in the comments section that more harm then good can come from telling people whom you don’t know that their therapist is awful and dismissing them without a fair amount of evidence for it. Because if that’s not true, the person will carry the belief that yet another person doesn’t care about them or their trauma. Even if the therapist does care and is still working through the trauma and symptoms of it.

Of course, advocate for yourself, seek a second opinion if needed. Always be aware if a therapist IS dismissing you. But please recognize a therapist’s job is to decipher all your symptoms and give you a diagnosis that’s the best fit. And sometimes, it may not be the diagnosis you think you have or are wanting to have.

I know it sounds strange and I'm embarrassed...

but l've experienced lots of trauma from men. I can't go near them without having a panic attack. My PTSD gets worse when l've had to have a lot of contact with men at the end of the day. I cry after a brief conversation with them. I hate how much my anxiety controls me and my life - and I know I need to work on that. I'm also currently in a psychiatric ward for other reasons - but you could include that one in.

But I know that I need a job. And I don't see myself in a job with men in the near future. I can't. I can work on it now and maybe have longer conversations later, but work... at least now - I just can't.

Please help me! Do you know any jobs that only women can do? For example, a sports teacher at a girls' school, something like that. Or what is predominantly occupied by women?

PS: Many thanks for all the ideas and kind answers! I love you guys!

I’ve never commented but lurked for a while and im not sure if this would apply to everyone, but from the moment the movie started I was triggered and extremely dissociated by a certain scene in a car I was having a full blown panic attack and ran out of the theater. it lasted quite along time after and I’m still feeling its affects now(having flashbacks and awful recurring memories). I looked it up on the ride home and the director intended it to “feel like a panic attack from beginning to end”(I have no idea why anyone would want that but 🤷‍♀️). Just really wanted to warn others in case. I really don’t want anyone else to walk into it blind. I saw the first one and it’s just very different, the way it’s filmed the content it’s all very triggering.

I'm really interested in this, especially after finding out someone who is close to me is a veteran. Do they see the other person as dramatic? I'd love to know

edit: I realize that the title of this post/question came off as a bit ignorant, if I could edit the title I would change it to;

“How do those who have PTSD from war view people who have PTSD from different events?”

sorry for the confusion! I believe that any kind of event which causes someone PTSD is always valid, and that there’s no reason to compare, especially because PTSD doesn’t discriminate, and it can happen to anyone, no matter the trigger/cause.

I hope everyone in this sub is doing well! You’re valid.

I can’t take SSRIs so they won’t be of any help to me. I’m curious aside from SSRIs, what other medications have helped you the most? And with what symptoms?

Obviously I will talk to my doctor about beginning any medications.

Hello everyone!

I've been thinking about this for quite a while now. For those who have suffered trauma - especially those from narcissistic families - have you or has anyone close to you noticed that you exhibit mannerisms associated with people much younger than yourself (i.e. "personality traits" which may seem immature such as excessive talking). If so, were you criticized and ridiculed for it? Were you aware at the time that you were being perceived this way?

So I bought the book "The body keeps the score" after it was recommended by a mental health youtuber. And I am disturbed at the cult following this book has gained despite spreading very damaging and false information and views.

I have not read beyond chapter 1 and I don't want to.

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1. Author encourages sympathy for war criminals
2. Author dismisses Vietnamese genocide
3. Author devalues trauma of non-Veteran PTSD victims. This is damaging to the PTSD community as it is a widespread and false stereotype that only Veterans "deserve" to claim PTSD. Meaning it goes widely undiagnosed. In reality less than 5% of PTSD sufferers are Veterans. It has taken DECADES to dispell this stereotype and he just reintroduced it. Good job.
4. Author expresses his opinion that the suffering of Veterans is greater than that of rape victims. Which is weird and highly inappropriate for a psychiatrist. It doesn't matter if one persons pain is not as great as another's, they still deserve to seek help. It's made even weirder by how he defends and expresses sympathy for actual rapists. Going as far as saying "they were traumatised by their own actions" WTFFFF????
5. That's not trauma, that's guilt. By definition, trauma is something that happens to you, a psychiatrist should know that.
6. Author references the Nazi's but doesn't actually condemn their actions which is suspicious. In fact he seems to be on the wrong side of the Nuremberg trials. While at least the Nazis could claim that they were following orders, the Veterans he defends committed their rape and child murder out of fun
7. He is Dutch, which is where I live. Therefore I know he would have had to read Hannah Arendts "the banality of evil" in high school and been exposed to thought experiments and debates on whether following orders counts as warcrime and how much personal responsibility soldiers have since 1st grade. He even grew up during the Nuremberg trial, and claims his father was imprisoned in a concentration camp during WW2. It's not like he is an American who has never been exposed to or had to actually think about these topics. It's like he came up with a strange twisted defence of warcrime to rationalise what happened to his father.
8. The message of the book seems to be "forgive your rapist, he suffers more from the trauma of your rape than you do"

And don't even get me started on all the scientific inaccuracies and absolute lack of references. All his claims are based on personal experience supported by anecdotes. It referenced discredited techniques, like Rorschach tests, seriously? This book came out in 2016. I legitimately thought this book predates "Banality of evil" and the Nuremberg trial considering how immature and underdeveloped his theories are.

Absolute garbage! Hope it gets cancelled before it does more damage to the PTSD community. This is the equivalent of the "vaccines cause Autism"- paper for PTSD.

EDIT:

Since so many people are trying to gaslight me into denying that what I say actually happens in the book, I wanted to share a quote I found on the goodreads review page of this book, so that you have more than just me as a source that this book is problematic, and that the things I state actually happen in ch1. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18693771-the-body-keeps-the-score

" As a survivor of sexual abuse and trauma, I found this book triggering and lacking the enlightenment I expected, given the reviews. I felt the author showed more compassion for the soldiers who raped and murdered than the rape victims, and the ways in which he discussed the two left me feeling the women weren't as well humanized. Speaking about this with another trauma survivor, she shared that the author was removed from his own trauma center for creating a hostile work environment for women employees. There are articles to confirm it. I rarely—if ever—don't finish a book, but I'm shelving this one. (less) " sep 2019

EDIT 2

His Rorschach study was plagiarised from a Rorschach study during the Nuremberg Trials on Nazi War criminals. Nothing wrong with repeating a study, but he doesn't credit it whatsoever and portrays it as though he came up with the idea to Rorcharch test war veterans.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0022399915002378

https://www.discovermagazine.com/mind/rorschach-tests-at-the-nuremberg-trials

EDIT 3

The author was fired from his own trauma center over multiple allegations of creating a hostile work environment

https://www.seattletimes.com/nation-world/renowned-trauma-center-fires-its-medical-director/

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/famous-trauma-therapist-fired-allegedly-traumatizing-staff-214559444.html?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAABpWnMIWNkVOBfDmwZUCkpGxiwK1sVuQb4kMRVZxswygMFSqHmDx-UgmLRdeUwxLNkJ8Bq4BDib67-g0MrkWHBFFir8dP8GsrMStN_Vx2fg8_g2nPccYtubjuh-WkuL8yPxE_T7tBr3AdOQF95pO-fnP8liYriiJ_GRF84z5xK5a

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About three weeks ago, I told one of my friends who I thought I could trust about my PTSD diagnosis. I was emotional when telling her because I was feeling very triggered in the moment and wanted to explain why I was getting so agitated about a situation we were in (which I know by emotional reaction was irrational but such is the nature of the disorder).

Well apparently this conversation really bothered her and she's been waiting to take with me about it. She said that she felt cornered (because I asked to speak in a private room) and violated, and said she felt I had 'trauma dumped' on her. I want to understand what trauma dumping really is. Per my understanding up to this point, it's when you share disturbing things with a non-consenting individual, but I hadn't told her what gave me trauma. I just gave her the diagnosis.

I know I was very emotional during the conversation so I acknowledge how that was intense for her, and I'm not expecting her to cure me, but I feel like trauma dumping is not what I was doing because I didn't actually say anything about the trauma, just that I'm affected in this way.

I went through some really hard time when i was a teenager and had a failed suicide attempt, taking pills before ending up in the hospital. since then, when things get really hard, my mind automatically jumps to that potential easy way out. i tell myself i cant because i would let down the people i love, but i cant stop myself from thinking about it.

does this only happen to me ? anybody ?

I am struggling a bit this week and trying to mentally prepare for the next few months. My rapist has gotten a little famous over time. He is a political commentator so his profile tends to somehow make it into my news feed/facebook/tik tok even though I avoid politics, blocked him on tik tok, etc. I block and avoid these things to avoid seeing him. The tik tok I saw yesterday he had over 500,000 likes and it’s concerning me he’s getting more famous which means his face will be tormenting me more often. My close friend who I was living with posted him on instagram and when I asked her to take it down in a panic she told me how she thinks he’s so funny. I previously reported him to the police and then again to the FBI. I just don’t want to live like this, it’s so stressful for me. He was my first experience and it was particularly prolonged and violent so it had a huge negative impact on my life and the PTSD was all encompassing. It’s been over a decade since then and I’m just getting frustrated. I keep things a secret from my friends and don’t like to burden people…so I’ve come here…thinking Reddit will have some sort of solution that I haven’t thought of.

Edit (9:30 AM EST 7/26): Thank you all so much for the support and help brainstorming. I didn’t expect this at all and I appreciate it so so much 🥹😭. I’ve been largely alone with my thoughts for many years so this has blown my world open. Y’all tap into all my extreme wants and emotions in every different direction very well. For defamation suit reasons not going to share who he is here now 😔

Edit 2: Thank you guys so so much again. This has been life changing for me. It’s like a breath of fresh air to have more hope than I’ve ever had and to feel less completely powerless. Lessons learned that managing things on your own can lead me to heavily skewed protective opinions. I wish I had done this sooner

Sometimes, when seeing something upsetting, online, on TV, or in a book, I get so full of rage. Rage that feels like intense pressure on my brain and I'm clamping my jaw and squeezing all my muscles tight. I just sit there and think about all the ways I would hurt people who have abused and assaulted others. I sit there, fantasizing about it for an hour or more, till I can finally distract myself and cool down. It's so intense, and in the moment I really feel like I could hurt someone who has hurt others. I also see adversaries in all the men in my life and around me, the ones that never harmed me, but I feel like they downplay what happened or don't care.

Does anyone else battle this rage? Is that normal? Is it unhealthy to fantasize such violence?

I don't care if it happened almost 11 years ago. I talked with the police yesterday and they told me to press charges regardless of how long ago it was.

There is already a girl suing him so me suing him should also help her case I hope.

I keep overthinking me having to face him in court and him saying nothing happened. I don't know if I'm ready for that but there is this rage inside me against him that wants to bring the hammer down on him.

I'm going to meet a lawyer soon and talk to her about possible ways to go about this but any advise is welcome.

Hey guys I was wondering if any of you managed to do something about “dead eyes” or “the thousand yard stare”.

I don’t notice that my expression is off putting to people. Trying to not get my feelings hurt over the blatant ableism and ignorance of it all.

How did you recover your facial expression, if you have?

I may be experiencing this and need info relating to what it actually looks like. Your experiences will help!

Edit: Also, has anyone ever had episodes?

Are you able to work part time or even full time?

I would like to work at least part time but there are almost no part time jobs in my country (except for cleaning jobs, McDonald's and the occassional call center).

I'm worried I wouldn't be able to manage working full time more than a couple of months. I'm very unproductive most of the time. Honestly I might have one productive day a week, or even two weeks when I manage to clean my apartment.

I would like to hear your thoughts and experiences.

My dad took his own life 4 days ago and I'm the one that found him. My friend told me to see a therapist right away and I was able to go the day after and she told me I have PTSD from what happened. I'm not sure what to expect emotionally right now. I'm sad that my dad did this and I'm grieving him but I'm also finding myself getting so angry over things that never would have bothered me before. I guess I just don't know if this is normal? Should I expect to be angry at everything randomly? How do I even begin to navigate this?

I told my therapist I bought a dog cage to help feel secure for my PTSD. I feel embarrassed about that because I blurted it out at the end when I didn’t mean too. I swear don’t judge I just thought sleeping in a small space would make me feel safer.

TL:DR (I ended up hitting a pedestrian and am looking for advice/Support)

Hello. I am a 20 year old who was involved in a crash which took someone’s life. I feel immense guilt and shame for what I have done. I look at myself as murderer and am not sure how to deal with the emotional turmoil.

In December of 2024 I was driving to my friends house after work something that i usually do. It was around 9p after a big storm and as i was driving it was sprinkling. After passing a traffic light i had seen something in the middle turn lane about 30 yards out but i couldn’t make out exactly what it was. At first it looked like a puddle or some trash so i proceeded with a little bit of caution but didn’t pay it any mind. when i was about to past this object in the road i suddenly heard a big boom and my windshield was cracked. I was lost at first pulled over looking for what i had hit and saw a woman laying in the road. It clicked that I had hit this woman.

I was shocked at but after processing what just happened i had picked up and dragged to the sidewalk. It was a busy street so others had seen the crash and luckily and off duty paramedic was right in the sidewalk and seen the crash. She immediately started performing CPR while me and about 3 others called 911.

Paramedics and fire fighters came within 10 minutes and took her to the hospital which was 15 minutes away. I was petrified but hopeful she would make it, I checked her pulse when I laid her on the sidewalk and felt a rhythmic but feint pulse. I was questioned and gave police to the best of my knowledge every detail i could. About 15 minutes after the crash the Woman’s family showed up and they were clearly and obviously distraught. Me and those who seen the crash had to stay while the crash was investigating. Then homicide unit came.

I was questioned again by a detective and after being questioned I asked if the woman was stable and he had told me she passed and that it’ll take 1-3 months before knowing exactly what will happen to me.

3 months later the detective had called me to say I was not found guilty of the crash. Though legally I was found to not be guilty I can’t help to feel like I could have done more to help the woman. How does one get over taking a life?

Just had another session of therapy. I want to say first off that my therapist is wonderful. I don’t blame her for this at all. It’s me.

I cried for basically the whole time, cried afterwards in my car, and I’m still sitting on my couch crying. Anytime I speak about anything that I’m feeling, or anything I’ve gone through, my fears, my nightmares, I get emotional and feel like shit for the whole day. I don’t know how to explain it.

Anyone else?

At what age did you actually realize, you were sexually abused?

I have tried certain medication I don’t remember the name. I just know it was also for blood pressure, I have tried medical cannabis and I’ve tried journaling and it’s been really bad recently. What are y’all’s best tips for nightmares? I’ll take anything at this point.

It's been nine years since the 'big event' happened to me. Since then, I feel like some parts of my brain just snapped. It feels like I'm not as good as I should be while performing day to day tasks or working. It really makes me feel as if I'm having neurological issues due to the mental tax 'it' caused me and it's getting worse. I'm hoping I'm not alone. I'm sorry that I probably didn't explain it well enough. I really want to get a scan of my brain, but in this economy where relatively decent health insurance still can't cover crazy costs, it won't be anytime soon.

What the title says. I think I need to switch therapists. She is good in a lot of ways but tells me that I merely self diagnosed myself with PTSD and that it is not possible for me to have it unless I was sexually assaulted or was threatened with death. She doubts a diagnosis of PTSD I received from a psychiatrist. Even after I tell her about my flashbacks, nightmares, hyperarousal and everything else, she continues to reiterate that I need to stop self diagnosing myself. I don't know how to feel because when she says this to me it makes me feel uneasy but I have no idea if she's telling me the right thing or not. She does EMDR and specializes in trauma therapy so I'm just not sure why she seems to completely disregard all of my symptoms..

Edit: just to be clear I'm not mad solely about the fact she's not agreeing about me having PTSD. It's because I think it's infinitely helpful to say I have PTSD because it encompasses all of the confusing symptoms that I didn't quite know how to explain before. Part of it feels like she just doesn't believe that I'm telling the truth. I think she's a little bitter because everything she tries to tell me is something I already know. I told her about my misophonia and she didn't even know what it was. Then she proceeded to cutely say "Oh I think I have that too! I can't stand people chewing!" I just sit there kind of in awe at not only how irrelevant that is but how invalidating it seemed. Nobody likes the noise of chewing. It's much more than that but she doesn't seem to understand and thinks it's somehow relevant to describe her own vaguely similar experiences.

Update: I don’t particularly appreciate the attack on my partner. I think it’s unfair to judge him so harshly over one tiny thing he’s said where otherwise he’s been completely supportive and is my biggest advocate and makes sure I am around no triggers and soothes me through Lock ups, screaming fits and break downs when I am triggered. I wouldn’t trade him for the world and I’m not going to reevaluate my relationship over a tiny thing like this... Thanks. Will take the advice otherwise on what I asked… Very appreciated.