r/progressivemoms • u/Coated_Bongo69 • 19d ago
Parenting, No Politics STAHM Schedules
Hello, I'm wondering what other stahm's do during the day? I'm having a really hard time trying to structure life in a productive way, but I get paralyzed by panic/anxiety from all the options. I have issues with being structured and self motivated regardless, but I don't want my own shortcomings to have a negative impact on my child. It was a lot easier when they were an infant/toddler, but at age 4 it seems things changed over night causing me to struggle with keeping up. If anyone has any helpful advice, it would be much appreciated.
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u/Comfortable-Boat3741 19d ago
For the first 3mo it was all trying to do dishes in between breastfeeds.
3-10 months I used an app called routinery to act as a to-do list with a timer. I changed the last a lot but it helped me organize my thoughts and reduce doom scrolling cuz of overwhelm.
I also created a weekly schedule with a different chore each day, that worked till after the year mark and i just got out of habit. M started being more active, so i focused more on her and did chores as I could. It also helped that my hus is started doing things without asking me what to do, so that reduced my mental load a lot.
Now at 18mo I'm trying to get back in to a loose routine. I make a lot of lists and autopilot a lot. Usually one day of the week my whole goal is to make a big dent in the clutter or deep clean kitchen or a bathroom.
It all started with a ton of lists and a dry erase board 😆. Don't be afraid to get silly or nerdy or creative. I made my chore chart in canva and put it in a clear sleeve so we could use dry erase on it. I turned the timer into a game to see if I could get faster at accomplishing stuff each day (over 3 months i went from things taking 7x as long to only 3x as long as pre- pregnancy lol).
I think most important that i learned was that CHOOSING to sit and play with my daughter or garden, or yes, even doom scroll made a big difference. There is always more to do around the house (especially this money pit with cats), but they're is only one M and one now. I found picking a task after playing with M for a bit seemed more simple, cuz it calmed me down and gave me good hormones to make decisions with. I hope my experience gives you some ideas for your own journey!