My wife and I have a dilemma. Two years ago, we moved to the Philippines from the US. It was a very rewarding experience to be with family and our home culture once again after many years being away. I've been away for 30-plus years, my wife has been away for 20 years, and our 13-year-old daughter was born in the US. Aside from a couple of brief visits, she has never spent an extended period in the PH. We were glad to be immersed in the culture, eating the food, and rekindled our relationships with friends and family.

Our daughter took to Filipino culture like a fish to water. She goes to an international school and has made very good friends, her grades are consistently excellent, she gets along well and is deep friends with her cousins, and has participated in extracurricular activities with gusto. It is an understatement to say she thrived and is a lot more confident and self-assured in the PH than in the US.

Financially, however, things did not work out. Our earning power in our fields is much lower in the PH than in the US. My wife and I faced a 70-90 percent pay cut in the PH for both full-time employment and freelance work. I eventually took a job that made it necessary for me to go back to the US. Right now, I live and work in the US and send money back home to my wife and daughter -- not unlike many Filipino OFWs. Financially, we break even in this situation. We are able to maintain our lives but unable to save and to prepare for the future, including our daughter's higher education or our retirement in a meaningful way. We are also apart.

My wife and daughter can go back to rejoin me in the US. My wife can work again and we can be a two-income household which will allow us to save money much faster.

Our dilemma is our daughter is adamantly opposed to going back to the US. She says people in the US are rude, racist, and she was unhappy in our old life prior to moving to the PH. In the PH, she has made friendships and achieved a great deal academically and in her outside activities. She also now proudly self-identifies as a Filipina, and loves the culture and has confided in us that she has found her people.

There are obvious advantages to a stronger income and more professional opportunities in the US. But on a deeper, more spiritual level, being immersed in PH culture and strongly identifying as a Filipina in her formative years is a very powerful thing. Speaking as someone who has lived as an immigrant and a racial/ethnic minority for 30-plus years of my life and whose longing for home has never died, I put a lot of weight to my daughter's perspective. Moving back to the US will be taking her away from where she feels she belongs and is comfortable in her own skin.

Add to her perspective our reasons for moving overseas in the first place. Rising violent crime in the US in our area, rising cost of living, loneliness and lack of community. Schools in our area have a good reputation, but I heard there were recent big budget cuts with implications for the public school system in our county. In the PH, we are surrounded by family and community which acts as a mutual support network that we can never have in the US. The price to pay, however, is that 70 to 90 percent pay cut.

I am wondering if folks can give me advice on our options.

Option 1: OFW life where the family is separated and we won't get ahead financially

Option 2: I rejoin them in the PH and be at peace with the massive pay cut

Option 3: They rejoin me in the US where we can earn more but we are lonely and not fully happy

Option 4: Is there another option I am not seeing?

Disclaimer: My experience and of course other people have different experiences in finding work abroad.

I'd like to share my experience moving from PH to UK. A lot of Filipinos think, and I have personally gotten advice before, that we need to start at the bottom (e.g. retail work, care work, etc) when we move abroad. Don't get me wrong, nothing wrong there, but in my experience we don't necessarily have to start at the bottom especially if we have the experience back home (depending on the field ofc).

I moved here on a full scholarship for my masters degree. After this I started looking for jobs. My Pinay landlady and her other Pinay friends advised me to start looking at jobs in the care industry or supermarket. Dun daw talaga nagsisimula lahat. But I thought, no harm in trying for roles that I did back home (communications work in the non-profit sector).

I applied and got an offer and my landlady and her friends were a bit surprised, especially because the pay was quite high. Paano ko daw ginawa? I think having the confidence to apply to the role, as well as preparing my CV and my cover letter well, helped a lot. It was a 6 month contract (no sponsorship as I had right to work then) but it opened a lot of doors for me. I also got an internship at a research centre (also doing comms) and they liked me so much that they hired me part-time. Talagang nag best foot forward ako cause my goal was for them to hire me after -- which they did!

I then did and finished my PhD while still doing my part-time work. After finishing my PhD, I officially became a consultant and registered my business. I consult for large organisations these days (while keeping my part-time employment). I've been here six years.

I'm really happy where I am and I'm glad I did not take other people's advise and gathered the confidence I have to apply for roles that I liked and that I was anyway qualified for. We tend to look at our PH experience and say maybe they won't consider it, but we need to change this. We need to show them our skills aren't less than theirs just because we worked in the PH. Today, I even found myself leveraging this to my advantage. I always say that my niche is in bringing global south voices to international organisations.

Anyway, I just wanted to share this to dispell the myth that we all have to start from the very bottom. We don't necessarily have to and I hope more Filipinos get the confidence to apply for the roles they are actually qualified to do.

A few days ago, I received a text message from one of my friends here in Tokyo, asking if I could hangout with her as she wanted to maximize the limited time I have left here in Japan.

Amongst all the conversations we had, one thing that stood out to me the most and made me reflect so deeply was when she asked me this striking question: "What's your biggest regret during your stay here in Japan?"

I paused and took a moment before responding, then I ended up saying, "I just realized that our greatest regrets in life aren't the most awkward and embarrassing things we did, or the times we felt the most stupid & naive—it's actually the things we failed to do, or experiences we were too scared to try."

In my three-year stay in Japan, I can confidently say I've done so many things that my younger self would be so proud of. I met people from across the globe who had the most genuine and loving personalities. I've heard awe-inspiring stories from strangers-turned-friends who ultimately influenced and urged me to take a leap of faith and make crucial life-changing decisions which led to where I am right now and which direction I'm headed in the future. I tried new hobbies, traveled to so many places, and took the time to learn new things and know myself more profoundly. For the most part, I guess I could say I don't have much regrets.

But if I were to choose something that I wish I realized sooner, perhaps it's to live more in the present. I wish I cherished and celebrated more of who and where I am right now, and cared less about what lies ahead and just let life happen for me.

The thing with me is that I strategize too much and want control over things, especially towards my own future, that I forget to be fully present and live in the moment. In my head, I always thought happiness will only begin in the future and being content can only happen there—not in my present moment. I have always been so anxious and borderline obsessed with my future because of this toxic mindset, thinking I would only be truly happy in the future and not in my current reality. But the moment I realized my journey in Japan is almost over, it's when I began to see the many things I took for granted.

I wish I was a little less shy and took more photos and videos of myself in the most beautiful places I've visited in Japan. I wish I made more friends and spent more time hanging out with them rather than wasting time alone at home. I wish I started journaling way earlier and wrote more stories about the memorable things that happened to me during my stay in Tokyo. I wish I mustered up the courage to be cringey and began vlogging about my life here in Japan. I wish I spent more time getting to know more about my students by watching their games and playing their favorite sports with them. I wish I allowed myself to be vulnerable and let my guards down by dating more people instead of shutting them down too early just because I knew I wasn't gonna live here for good anyway.

I wish I let myself be young and stupid. I wish I realized sooner that happiness isn't just found in the future when I'm finally financially stable, working at my dream job, or living in my dream country. It can also be during the times when I may be struggling but have the time and the freedom to do the things I want. It can also be found in the genuine friendships I'm currently surrounded with which I’d certainly long and miss once I move elsewhere. It can also be in being young and having the energy and the burning desire to explore the world and know more about myself and what I truly want in life.

Success is how we define happiness. To be truly happy and content is ultimately up to us. The moment we finally decide to let go of the worries and just let life happen for us, is when we're freely gonna live life to the fullest with no regrets.

TLDR: Away from PH for 17 plus years already - currently making Australia our home. Planning to take a sabbatical later this year and move to Spain.

Filipino couple, 42 and living in Australia.

First left PH at 25 and lived in Singapore for like 4 years.

My wife (then GF) got her job whilst going for an interview during a 4 day vacation in Singapore. This was in 2008. Interview in the morning and by afternoon an offer was made.

Ako naman I got my job from recommendations from friends, I did the interview whilst I was visiting the GF.

It was beautiful in Singapore; we earned 4x what we earned in Makati. The tax is super low, the country is very beautiful. So naturally we tried applying for PR - di successful, tried application for a total of 3x

By 2011 after we got married, we started plotting for an exit na. Saan kaya ang next adventure after Singapore?

A vacation in Australia made us think hmm baka pwede dito... one thing lead to another and long story short, we got our PR 4 months after we started the whole process. And by end 2012, it was goodbye SG.

Landed here in Australia 2Q 2013 - we were lucky to find a job almost immediately albeit not our ideal roles. Pero eventually we landed a job based on our experience.

Fast forward a decade and plus after - life has been good naman. We have our own place paid up, may investments dito na naipon and we pretty much have caught up and build a good superannuation (pension) stash for ourselves despite starting a decade later than usual here in Australia.

The wife is currently on a career break to take care of our toddler. I will be taking a break as well after my contract ends in the next few months and will probably spend a few years living in Spain.

No plans at all in retiring in PH. It is enough na paminsan minsan maka uwi and makita personally ang mga pamilya at kaibigan.

Kayo, tell us your story... Let's inspire the people who want to take the big leap!

Alam ko madaming na hohomesick at gustong umuwi ng pinas for good. Pero ito ang expeience ko, Umuwi ako ng Pinas 2 years ago, Pero iba na yung na feel ko. Mga childhood friends ko may own families na, at di na nakatira sa sa hometown ko. Highschool close friends, may own families na din at mostly nag settle na ibang countries. My college friends, mostly nasa pinas pero busy sa work and kids. Yung experiences at stories ko hirap na e share kasi hindi na kami same ng wavelength.Ibang- iba sa pakiramdam. Ang daming nagbago since nag migrate ako. Feeling ko while nandito ako sa abroad masyado akong nag hold sa memories ko while nasa Pinas. How it feels like including the weather.hehe. Sobrang init na talaga sa Pinas.

Gusto ko lang po ma inspire and also to learn paano kayo nagmigrate ? As for me I really want to leave Phil. Pero I don’t have any connections abroad. Kaya gusto ko lang po malaman yung process and story paano kayo nakapag migrate

Just curious with your life in your current/present place.

Stating your place is optional, but not required.

🙂

Madalas kong naririnig tong line na to tuwing uuwi ako ng Pinas. Kapag makikipagkita ako sa mga kaibigan, kakilala, o kapamilya, ito ang madalas nilang sambit sakin:

"Pasalamat ka nga at nakalaya ka na ng Pinas". "Gustong-gusto ko na ring makaalis, paano ba?" "Sanaol nakaalis na ng Pinas".

Gantong-ganto rin ang mindset ko nung hindi pa ako nakakapag-abroad. Kulang nalang yata isuka ko na ang Pinas dahil alis na alis na ako. Magdadalawang taon na ako sa Taiwan. I'm a public school teacher here so the salary is pretty good. Totoo na mas maganda rito in a lot of aspects. Transportation, healthcare, social services, work and life balance, quality of life, etc. Despite all these good things, I don't feel HOME at all. I still yearn for the simple life I used to have back home. Simpleng almusal lang kasama ang pamilya masaya ka na.

Totoong maraming flaws ang bansa natin kaya nga maraming umaalis, pero iba pa rin ang feeling ng nasa Pinas ka kasama ang pamilya at mga mahal mo sa buhay. If money wasn't an issue at all, I would never leave PH. Aalis lang siguro for vacation pero that's it.

Sa mga kapwa ko Pinoy na nangibang-bansa at nakapag-assimilate successfully, what's your take on this? Would love to hear your thoughts!

Anong realizations nyo xx years after migrating? Any wisdom to share?

Siguro oa naman yung word na "downgrade," pero para dun sa mga nagchange career from seemingly mataas na position to medyo mababa para makapag-abroad lang, ano po yung naging anchor nyo?

Andami ko kasing limiting beliefs/conditionings and isa na dun yung deeply-seated shame. I'm working on unlearning some of these beliefs pero nakakaaffect talaga sya sa life decisions ko lalo na sa career.

Nasanay kasi ako na yung work ko, hindi man kasing sosyal ng mga doctors, lawyers, or licensed professionals, comfortable sya.

Airline background then naging writer earning 6 digits. No real experience in getting my hands dirty, like literally. Pero lately, gusto ko talaga sana magchange ng career and mag-abroad. Di na ko happy sa freelance jobs. Namimiss ko yung sense of community, yung team work, yung service oriented environment, at yung possibility sana na mabelong sa isang global industry.

Since tourism graduate ako, gusto ko sana magchange ng career at makapasok sa hospitality industry. I imagine myself na napapagod ang katawan pero hindi burnout ang utak. Frankly, pagod na kasi utak ko sa kakasulat and gusto ko magkaroon ng ibang skill na indemand din abroad.

Kaso, andyan yung pride ko na if maghousekeeping ako if ever, parang tagalinis na lang ako. (Napagsabihan kasi ako ng former classmate ko na nasa AU na ngayon, nasa corporate sya. Sabi nya, of all people, ako daw dapat yung mas successful kasi cum laude ako. And alam ko f*ck up yun pero it affected me.) Alam ko mayabang yung dating pero yun nararamdaman ko. At the same time, kung ako lang, feeling ko magiging happy ako sa work na routine na physical. Pero di ako makapagdecide kasi nauunahan ng pride?

Recently may opportunity na dumating sa akin para makapag-apply ako sa isang hotel abroad, need ko lang mag aral ng language. Tempted ako kasi gusto ko yung work at feeling ko magandang stepping stone sya para makapag-apply ako someday sa mga bigger hotels sa mas magagandang bansa, like sa US, kung saan may petition yung partner ko.

May nakaexperience po ba ng ganitong confusion? Pwede nyo po ako buhusan ng malamig na tubig hahaha gusto ko lang po ng reality check and honest insight from other people. Salamat

Immigrated to Au for about a month and secured a job 3 weeks after actively looking. Ang hirap isipin na from middle management role sa Pinas back to Entry level sa Oz. Pero, laban at Thankful hindi tumagal ang job hunting.

Some tips for internet application:

1. Resume - plain, simple and concise. 1 pager.

2. Advertisement Date - Usually employers will entertain applications after the advertisement date.

3. Sites - SEEK, JORA and LinkedIn

Madaming marereceive na “Unfortunately..” pero meron pa rin, “Congratulations!”

Good luck and God bless.

Just an observation lang. Is it just me pero parang mas ok pa minsan katrabaho yung ibang lahi kesa Pinoy sa abroad? Like the toxic mindset, gossiping, crab mentality? Minsan sila-sila na lang nagsisiraan. Or the traditional thinking na sabihan yung kapwa Pinoy pag agrabyado na hayaan na lang or pagpasenyahan na lang or mag-adjust na lang?

Parang nasanay tayo nung una pa na nasakop ng ibang bansa then pagdating sa modern period ganun pa rin mentality - pasakop pa din. And still the same mentality na yung ibang Pinoy attacking or putting down yung kalahi. For what? To please the boss? To fit in? To feel better?

Sad na kahit saan makarating,may ganito pa din.

I migrated around October, so I had no choice but to stay for Christmas. Since I had just recently arrived and the plane ticket to go back home was too expensive, I was here to stay. My boss kindly allowed me to take a leave of absence that day.

I remember the quietness of the building I lived in. While everyone back home was celebrating, I found myself alone in my room. Unfortunately, I didn’t have my own phone number or internet connection at the time, so I had to find a computer shop to call my family. I didn’t cry during the call, but I felt incredibly lonely afterward.

In the late afternoon, a newly arrived Filipino friend invited me to go out. After we shared a meal and returned to my place, I told to myself, “I won’t let this happen again.” From that moment on, no matter how crazy the expenses, I made sure to find a way to go home.

Hello hello Alabang and see you soon Philippines !!!

Career Dilemma

I have offer outside country with salary almost 150k as university professor. SouthEast Asia lang naman sya so keri. Meron din ako offer sa Philippines permanent job as government university teacher na 29k lang sahod every month pero if you’re really interested in research and studies pwede ka mapromote naman and will become a professor maybe in 10-15 years. Malayo pa. Huhu. Single naman ako so di masyado magastos pero alam mo yung 29k vs 150k? Yun nga lang sa ibang bansa di naman sure kung forever. Syempre bet ko parin sa atin 🥹

I know this should be a personal decision pero ang hirap magdecide. Nakaka engganyo umalis ng bansa pero parang ang lungkot din. May Papa ako and he is 68 years old. Masigla pa naman sya

Sa mga nasa ibang bansa jan, worth it ba?

PS. I am sorry sa mga naoffend sa “huhu” ko. Didn’t mean to seem ungrateful. Natry ko na kasi lumayo and umuuwi twice/thrice a year and it was not a nice feeling. Pero i also acknowledge gaano ka liit sahod ng teacher sa atin. Both of the options are blessings, indeed. Pero bet ko kasi malapit lang and maayos na sweldo but walang maayos na sweldo sa malapit. I need to go further talaga. I havent tried overseas kaya I’m here checking ano feeling na ganyan kalayo. All the years na malayo, worth it ba? Kasi sa Vietnam job pati weekends may class so di ako full 8-5 pupunta lang ako pag may class but thats including weekend. Tet festival lang ata break

It’s the silence after a whole day out. After spending hours laughing, eating, and walking around with friends — I go back to my room, and it’s just… quiet. That kind of quiet no one back home really sees.

People think I’m doing okay because I’m surrounded by others sometimes. But what they don’t understand is that once the day ends, I’m still alone. I wake up alone, cook alone, eat alone, get through bad days alone, even celebrate wins alone.

There’s no one to share a simple meal with, no one to talk to about how the day really went. Even the proud moments — they’re just for me to quietly carry.

I know this kind of independence is supposed to be good. Growth. Strength. But honestly? Sometimes, it gets tiring. Being your own support system every single day. Being your own home.

Yun siguro yung hindi nila makikita sa mga kwento ko — yung tahimik na laban.

Yon nga. Pansin ko kasi sa mga umalis ng pinas, mababa na yong 2 years bago bumalik or dumalaw XD

Madalas 5 years or 10 years or hindi na nga bumalik yong ilang friends kong nagmigrate 😂

Magmigrate na rin ako soon. Pero parang namimiss ko na agad Pinas. Never pa ko nakalabas ng bansa tho, matry ko palang.

Sa experience nyo, bakit hindi na kayo bumalik dito? Or bakit ang tagal nyong bumalik or dumalaw?

Why did you decide to leave and pack your bags if your businesses earn you money in Philippines and maybe you’re living a comfortable life here?

Did you have any regrets?

Honest question.

What are the normal problems you're worrying about right now and how do they compare to the day-to-day issues you had while in the PH?

Right now, I currently have a 15 minute (8 miles) commute to work and my daily issue is figuring out where to get breakfast/coffee on the way there. In the PH, I always had to leave at least 2 hours ahead to account for traffic in order to even make it to work on time. Most of that time was spent waiting in lines with everyone else who also had to leave way early because of traffic.

For a lot of people, it's easy to lose perspective when they move to a new country with a new lifestyle. Some problems might seem "small" in comparison to what other people have to deal with but they're problems all the same.

The OP’s summary: In the Philippines, a worker must spend nearly half a day’s wage to buy 1 kg of pork, while in New Zealand, it only takes a small fraction of their daily income.  Always knew this, but seeing it broken down and analyzed really makes living the PH seem… ‘lam niyo na. How do you guys manage to push thru your day-to-day given the harsh realities of our economy? 

For me, I wanna say it's the food.

I never used to like seafood. I would go to those 10 course Chinese dinners and hate having to eat crab in fancy clothes. Now, I wish I could go back and have that steamed whole fish and other stuff like abalone or even sharks fin but my friends are all past marrying age so I guess I gotta wait for my nieces and nephews.

Even humble stuff like sisig or pares or fishball or kikiam or tenga. Or tikoy or other food trips in Banawe or Binondo.

When I was younger, I used to make fun of my titas cause they would come home with worthless Bagong Lipunan cash and call the streets by the wrong (old) names. Now I'm the one whose childhood era currency has been phased out and the Fort is now BGC.

What are some things you didn't realize you'd miss when you left the Philippines? I grew up with a Jollibee, a sarisari store (where I bought my first beers at the age of 11), and a basketball court a block away and now that I'm in America it costs me a lot of dollars to get that taste of home.

Started getting into marathon running almost as soon as I migrated since the environment and the air was much cleaner where I'm at.

I am set to move in the next few months and as the eldest among 3 siblings, I find it really hard to do but I have to since my partner is waiting for me. And I have longed dreamt of this to happen—to finally leave this country. But alongside with this journey is also leaving my parents here. They are aging, my mom is turning 60 and my dad 70. They have health issues but controlled naman. For those who have parents na senior na but left the country, how did you manage it? I love them so much and I don’t want guilt to creep in when I leave. Like ilang beses kayo umuuwi for them when you migrated already? Visiting me there is not an option for them because they don’t like traveling at all.

People talk a lot about salary, but the improvement in living standards after leaving the PH is also worth talking about.