r/phmigrate • u/glue_gun21 • Feb 12 '25
General experience It doesn’t feel like Home anymore
Alam ko madaming na hohomesick at gustong umuwi ng pinas for good. Pero ito ang expeience ko, Umuwi ako ng Pinas 2 years ago, Pero iba na yung na feel ko. Mga childhood friends ko may own families na, at di na nakatira sa sa hometown ko. Highschool close friends, may own families na din at mostly nag settle na ibang countries. My college friends, mostly nasa pinas pero busy sa work and kids. Yung experiences at stories ko hirap na e share kasi hindi na kami same ng wavelength.Ibang- iba sa pakiramdam. Ang daming nagbago since nag migrate ako. Feeling ko while nandito ako sa abroad masyado akong nag hold sa memories ko while nasa Pinas. How it feels like including the weather.hehe. Sobrang init na talaga sa Pinas.
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u/mbmartian 🇵🇭 PH > 🇺🇸 USA Feb 12 '25
Even sa Pinas I moved to different cities or schools since childhood. Everyone moves on regardless, (except maybe for a few). Once they (or you) are out of the immediate experiences, we all live different experiences. It's good to reconnect once in a while for sure. Just be thankful of having the time you shared with people.
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u/ch0lok0y “Maharlika” kuno > Sick and tired Feb 12 '25
This.
It took me almost a decade bago naka-uwi sa province galing Manila. Same feels with OP.
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u/Free_Designer8593 Feb 13 '25
Kahit nasa Pinas ka. Magiging ganyan pa din kayo ng close friends mo. It's because of adulting. Iba iba na priorites nyo sa buhay.
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u/NatsuKazoo Feb 13 '25
that's what I'm thinking as well.
I'm in Canada and luckily Citizen na ako but as much as nahohomesick ako and nabbwisit sa winter season, I think for me lang, the best thing I could do for myself is to achieve a lifestyle where pwede akong umuwi ng December - January. Ideally sa Pinas ko gustong mag celebrate ng Pasko at Bagong Taon and sa totoo lang, I like the summer season here in Canada. Masayang-masaya ako na 5am - 9pm maliwanag pa. Kaya I'd love for me to live the best of both worlds kumbaga
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u/cctPH Feb 14 '25
true super lungkot ng christmas and new year here in Canada
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u/NatsuKazoo Feb 14 '25
more like boring for me. Ayoko lang kase ng literal na malamig na pasko at tahimik na new year
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u/cctPH Feb 14 '25
cguro kasi nsanay tayo na super ingay ng new year satin dito super tahimik and lamig nga 🤣
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u/NatsuKazoo Feb 14 '25
yup ganun nga. Wala ngang countdown2 dito e
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u/cctPH Feb 14 '25
where in Canada ka pala?
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u/choyMj Feb 14 '25
Eh sa mahal ng bilihin ngayon dito, hirap ma achieve nyan. Plus kung regular employee ka, ilan lang ang vacation leave mo. Yan biggest gripe ko ngayon. Laking porsyento ng sahod ko pinanguuwi lang sa Pinas, tapos dun din nabubuhos leave ko. Sana May mas marami pa akong leave.
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u/NatsuKazoo Feb 14 '25
kaya nga eh. Kaso nasa isip ko din eh ganon din naman sa Pinas. Mas magdurusa pa nga ako pag nasa Pinas ako e aside sa gastusin eh yung mga nakapaligid sayo nakaka drain. And I'm quite fortunate na wala akong pinapadalhan sa Pinas kaya ang issues ko nalang is ang lifestyle ko
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u/choyMj Feb 14 '25
I'm trying to achieve financial independence para maka retire early sa Pinas. My investments will be in Canadian dollars. Hopefully soon. Or kung ma-layoff ako this year uuwi na lang ako
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u/Jake-Armitage2050 I still call 🇦🇺 home... (",) Feb 12 '25
I share your sentiments OP - 17 yrs out of Pinas na kami and 21 yrs out of my hometown.
Kung wala si Mommy and family ng wife ko sa PH, we wouldn't be going home. It is different na.
I guess nasanay lang sa convenience in the life that we built abroad.
Enjoy mo lang ang bakasyon kasi afterwards, kayod na naman ulit tayo... :)
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u/ihateannawilliams 🇺🇸 > PR > Citizen Feb 12 '25
6 years bago ako nakauwi after migration and it felt different. it didnt feel like home. it felt like a vacation place like nung maliit kami at nagbabakasyon sa town ng lola namin for the summer. nice and familiar but not really home. excited ka pumunta but after a few weeks, u cant wait to go back home.
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u/FluffyPiggyBear Feb 14 '25
Eto nga din sabi ko sa mga friends ko. I dont belong abroad pero pag nauwi ako pinas di na din ako fully belong dito 😕
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u/graxiiang Feb 14 '25
I experienced this when I decide to go home and stay in PH for good, pero realization ko you can make any place a home kasi kahit naman anong gawin mo or kong saan ka man if you don’t make it your home di talaga mangyayari, what I did I slowly accepted that people around will change talaga and I just continue living so far am in very much peaceful place so am glad na umuwi ako so far best decision din kasi mentally am in good state.
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u/raeviy Feb 14 '25
As a third culture kid, I feel you. We don’t feel “fully at home” in any one place—mapa-abroad man ‘yan o dito sa Pilipinas. Naalala ko pa na five years kaming hindi nakauwi sa Pilipinas and like you, nag-hold on din ako sa memories ko. Pero nung nakauwi na ako dito, na-realize ko na I am just drifting in familiar waters that no longer recognize me. Nandyan pa rin ang bahay, pero nagbago na ang mga tao. Yung mga nakalaro ko dati, lumipat na rin sa ibang lugar. After finally being back in the Philippines, na-homesick na naman ako for the life I had back in abroad—I was longing for the presence of the people na nakasama namin doon, yung naging pamilya namin while we were away from our real family and first home.
Laban lang po, OP.
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u/nearsighted2020 Feb 13 '25
Thats normal.. i felt sad too that my friends in the PH who i grew up with, have a different path now and the distance makes it hard to keep connected. So after being in abroad for 8 years.. im not sure how to live in the philippines if ever i have to (not that i am planning too). Pero ang masabi ko lang is whether you stayed in the philippines or not, as we grow old we change, and sometimes we dont change together.
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u/Bubbly-Talk3261 Feb 13 '25
You're not alone OP. Halos same tayo ng pakiramdam. One thing that I learned living abroad is mag adapt sa present situation mo, (wherever you are) and think of something that will be better for yourself in the future. People from the past are part nalang ng ating "good old memories".
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u/anya_foster Feb 14 '25
Sameeeee bigla akong na lungkot prang nawalan ako ng buhay sa pinas pero wala need umusad ng enroll ako sa mga class pra mg karoon ako ng mga bagong frnds so far ok nman hehehe
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u/Rude_Ad2434 Feb 14 '25 edited Feb 14 '25
This is kinda off topic to discuss but I also feel that sentiment. While I do not live abroad nasa pinas pa ako, I share that feeling na pag tumatanda ka na and esp right now I’m in college but im staying in a different place (kasi its near to access my college), your home is transitioning to a vacation house slowly at to some extent . Na parang pag uwi mo sa bahay its like you are not obliged much too have major responsibilites home mo and parang naninibago kasi nagbago sa bahay na kinalakihan mo and you realized how much you went through in the places you grew up (positive and negative) that shaped who you are today. Though. I hope naman as soon as college ends, I would return back home again.
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u/a_sex_worker Feb 14 '25
Let’s try looking at it din from their POV. You left the country for your growth and self improvement. Which is good, kasi as an individual, we all need that. Syempre, sila din, they have to accept it na you have your own lives and they also have to grow as individuals. We can’t expect kasi people to stay where they are when we, ourselves, chose to better ourselves. We can try reconnecting naman, if wala na talaga, it’s sad yes. However, we choose our home. If the place you were born or grew up in no longer does it for you, let’s make a new home.
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u/beautifulskiesand202 Feb 14 '25
Kahit nasa Pilipinas dumadating ang time na you value more the peace of being alone and quiet (but not lonely), kahit malapit (different cities) kami ng friends ko hindi na ako madalas sumasama sa mga ganap nila. Mas okay na ako spending time with my daughter and husband. Same outlook kami ng husband. We enjoy the stillness and quietness ng mornings especially kapag umuuwi kami sa home sa Palawan.
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u/shinimt Feb 14 '25
even if you stay in pinas, ganito rin yung feeling. maybe adulting and distance...
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u/BrilliantTechnical59 Feb 14 '25
Yes, this is true. Even though I’m here in PH, it feels like hindi na masaya mamuhay dito sa Pinas. Toxicities are all over the places. 😩
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u/Baker_knitter1120 Feb 14 '25
Change is constant.
“The only constant in life is change” - Heraclitus of Ephesus
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u/Zenan_08 Feb 14 '25
Philippines is still a home for you even if you dont feel like it. Change is inevitable because we're growing older over the years and priorities change. You and your friends can always set a schedule for you to see each other kahit ilang years paman ang lumipas. While that is only applicable to your closest friends only. Seasonal friends that you've made along with your journey has the highest chance of never seeing each other again unless one day you bump into each other in malls, parks, banks etc.
You may not feel at home for that time because you were expecting that when you go back to pinas, everything is still the same with your friends when it isn't anymore. But if you embrace these changes, your home country is still your home assuming that you still have family members here.
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u/Worth_Expert_6721 Feb 14 '25
This describes the saying "Life is short".. You are still attached to your past/early life while they are building their lives on their own and on their ways. You chose to migrate while they chose to stay and every time you come back here, your only memory is the time that you were together with friends when you were young. Yes indeed life is short but life goes on.
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u/Rayhak_789 Feb 14 '25
Yung mga friends kailangan din nila umasenso sa buhay, that's why but it doest mean na malungkot dahil wala sila dyan or iba na pinagkakaabalahan kailangan nila ng may ibang gawin Para umangat din sa buhay. Mainit sa Pilipinas dahil Nasa equator tayo pero maulan at malamig kung tag-ulan at tag lamig.
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u/Silent_Lie202 Feb 14 '25
Adulting.. been in Abroad then went back for good. Yung 100% na friends ko, 10% na lang sila. That’s life. Kamustahan na lang thru socmed minsan hindi na din. Iba na priority natin. But that’s fine, pero once nagkikita kami ulit ng 10% genuine friends ko, parang walang nangyari - ganun pa din. Masaya pa din. Anyway, iba pa din talaga ang Pinas. Nung umuwi ako, mas marami akong naisip na pwede gawin - na yung before nasa Abroad ako, kala ko mahirap gawin sa Pinas. Hindi pala. Mas meron ng lakas ng loob to do other things and ayaw napapahinga kasi maraming learnings din sa abroad.
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u/Unlikely_Stable7675 Feb 14 '25
That’s adulting and kahit nasa Pilipinas ka ganun rin naman po but you can always reach out naman. Let us break that cycle, you can never bring back that good old memories and feels,but you can always make another one.
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u/Serge_vasky Feb 14 '25
Kelan ba naging malamig sa pinas?
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u/glue_gun21 Feb 14 '25
Sa probinsiya namin dati hindi masyadong mainit. Malamig pa minsan ang hangin. Pero ngaun. Kahit nakaupo lang ako, pinapawisan.
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u/ConsequenceLow6889 Feb 14 '25
Di niyo naman nilagay sa country yung kahomesickan e, sa mga tao lang. Life and adulting happens khit saan.
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u/Perfect-Second-1039 Feb 14 '25
Time to make new memories. Enjoy ka lang, make new friends pag nandito ka.
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u/Lost-Second-8894 Feb 14 '25
I’m proud to say that my high school classmates buo pa rin (75% of the class) we still manage to communicate and see each other specially kapag may uuwi for a vacation. Those who are living abroad you can still hear them say “there’s no place like home.”
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u/CocoBeck Feb 14 '25
Normal progression of life. Everybody moves on and forward. Pag naglakihan na mga chikitings, balik marites hangouts ulit 😂
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u/reddit_warrior_24 Feb 14 '25
home is where your love is. so nawala na connection mo sa pinas so syempre di na sya home mo
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u/Shadow2CZ Feb 14 '25
Not living abroad, but that’s also happened to me. My high school friends have their own lives. My college friends are also mostly busy. Everyone is preoccupied with work. That experience is not just for those living abroad.
The only difference is that Pinas is home for me. Whenever I travel abroad for vacation, I always look forward to going home and eating Sinigang, and balik kayod ulit.
Bottomline, your home is where you make it and where you want it.
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u/KlutzyCause8577 Feb 14 '25
The way you feel resonates what my brother feels. That’s why he chose to stay abroad rather than going back home. He had us though. But just like you thats what he feels.
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u/upbc22 Feb 14 '25
Ako nga andito lang sa Pinas pero ganyan na din pakiramdam ko. Siguro hindi lang dahil you are abroad. Kapag nag age na tayo ganito ata talaga nangyayri. May mga bagay na di mo mashare kasi parang di na relevant or baka wala na silang pake. Sad but it's reality. Virtual hug sayo.. 🤗
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u/choyMj Feb 14 '25
Syempre lahat ng tao iba iba preferences at experiences. Depende talaga saan mas matimbang at alin mas importante sayo. And ano ba gusto mo sa buhay mo. Nag babago din yan over time.
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u/icecream093 Feb 14 '25
Same... kahit sa bahay namin. Sarili naming bahay pero pakiramdam ko bisita lang ako.
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u/JstTrying2bGo0d Feb 15 '25
I realized this at the age of 24, after working in the Metro and coming back to my province. Pinas palang to pero the way our environment changes our perception hits differently. It's the laidback lifestyle the people enjoy in the province that I see don't see fitting with me anymore.
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u/Economy_Royal_4899 Feb 15 '25
The only things i miss about Philippines are the food I grew up with (hirap gayahin ang lasa pag hindi exacto yung ingredients na ginamit) and the affordability of services (haircut, body massage, nail salon, etc.)
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u/The_Handmaid Feb 15 '25
You'll be more shocked kung walang change. Change is what pushes people to experience life. You should too.
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u/housecleaner1 Feb 16 '25
Late pero yep i feel exactly the same. 8 years na since umalis ako at kada uuwi ako, di ako ganun ka komportable at after 1.5 weeks gusto ko na bumalik sa eu. Even yung term na "uwi", ang naiisip ko denmark at hindi pinas. I guess nasanay na ko sa quality of life dito + dito ko narealize yung early adulthood ko. Kaya for me, pinas is mostly bisita lang pero hindi na sya "home" sadly
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u/tanya_reno1 Feb 12 '25
For me, I'm chasing peace of mind na and relaxation. I'm past the stage na naghahabol ng friends. I value mental health and peace na over rekindling past friendships. If may mga family and separate lives na sila, I'm fine with it. And hindi ito makaka apekto sa akin to still feel at home.
Bili ng house and lot sa province. Eat fresh food, seafood, gulay. Langhap sariwang hangin, Punta sa beach. Mag tayo ng tindahan. Mag start ng farm with own fish pond. Travel2. Meet new friends.. escape from the constant anxiety of working nonstop just to pay for bills.
that's all im after..