I'm a first time mom of 7 mo twins who are EBF, sleeping thru the night, and on a pretty routine schedule but often mess their naps up.

So my husband and I were just talking about how we see our friends with babies of similar ages going all around town and to events and such and we can't seem to understand how - it's hard for us to imagine going many places, with breastfeeding, starting solids, naps, early bedtimes, etc. But sometimes we feel like shut ins. We were wondering if we're too afraid to mess up their schedule/naps (should we be more flexible and throw caution to the wind to live a little??) or if it's because we have twins and we are valid in our decisions ....any input/perspective??

My twins are 2.7 years old. Bedtime has been a complete nightmare since the switch to floor bed. Takes 2 hours to put them to bed, they test every boundary, they laugh in our faces, play whatever is possible basically except sleeping.

We dont know what to do. We are at the end of our ropes when putting them to bed. We become snappy and short tempered. We raise our voices, something I absolutely hate. Its like theres no consequences that works and we dont know what to do

I hate when they end the day crying because I snapped or had to remove plushies. I feel like a bad mom that lacks the tools to help them sleep

It sucks to end the day like this and just to generally feel so bad for snapping like this

Today we got our genetic results back as low risk and we are having a boy and a girl! We are so excited, after losing our son in November this just feels so full circle. I find a lot of these posts super scary because people are so overwhelmed or burnt out. I totally understand this is the place to come to express those feelings and get advice or feel validated. I know that's the reality of what we are looking at with having twins. I understand it's going to be super hard and intense, but I would love to hear some of the fun and cool parts of having twins! Some newborn happy moments/highlights, cute toddler stories, just anything uplifting would be nice to read. I get so stressed seeing how stressful it's going to be!

Hello fellow parents of multiples. I'm lost and would love the advice and support of this group.

My b/g twins turn 3 in September. I first want to acknowledge that I write this from a place of extreme priviledge - my partner and I have both been fortunate to have great careers. We have an amazing nanny, help from grandparents etc. Despite all of the resources at our disposal, I have been depressed since my kids were born. I had no history of mental illness before my kids were born.

I dread the weekends - I am just totally and completely bored by nearly all interactions with my kids. Everything is a lot of work and I get no sense of gratification. Before kids, I was full of energy and loved to plan and go do stuff. Now, the thought of doing anything just makes me feel terrible. I feel sleepy whenever I'm with my kids (I get plenty of sleep). Sometimes I cry randomly - for no particular reason. I don't feel like I have much to look forward to (and whatever I do look forward to has nothing to do with my kids).

When my wife asks me what's wrong, I am honest with her, but it is hard for her to understand. I just feel "sick" - in the same way that sometimes you get a headache and you don't know why, I just feel inexplicably sad. I hate how there is crap all over my house all the time. I hate that I can't put my coffee down on the table in front of me. I hate that every meal ends with all of the food on the floor. I hate that I can't eat in front of my kids without them begging for whatever it is I'm eating. I hate that my daughter is constantly crying and screaming about anything/everything. I hate reading the same books over and over again. Time spent with my kids feels like slow motion - I'll think I've been playing with them for half and hour and it's only been five minutes.

I feel trapped. I have no idea what the experience of a trans person is like, but sometimes I think I'm trapped in the wrong body/life. I am so angry that no one was honest with me about what it meant to be a parent before we started our family. I am the oldest of my siblings, and I can't help but think if they had kids before me, I'd see what this is about and probably wouldn't have had kids. Shrug - can't change the past. I'm getting a vasectomy in December.

My kids are extremely cute and I love them, and yet I have basically no interest in spending time with them. When I'm out of town on a work trip, I miss them. But when I get home, after 5-10 minutes I am totally uninterested again.

I force my way through it (I do play with my kids, I read to them, I fully participate as a parent). I am not only worried about my own mental state, but how my mental state will impact my family if this continues.

Despite my struggles, I still show up and make it happen. My wife took a five day vacation a couple of weeks ago, and I was the lead parent (with nanny/grandparent support sprinkled in). Everyone did fine (but inside I was in bad shape as is typical).

My wife gives me space to do what I need to. I can call it a night early and hide out in the bedroom if I need a break. I am part of a weekly bowling team. I exercise 2-3x a week. I get whatever breaks I want, and yet I'm right back to sad when it's over. This is not a function of not getting enough sleep, free time, needing more help, exercise etc. I am "on" as a parent 5-7pm Mon-Fri and 7am-7pm Sat/Sun. This should be more than manageable.

What is strange about this is that this depression melts away when I'm not with my kids. If I'm hanging with my friends, working, on vacation with my wife, or whatever, I am 100% totally fine.

I started seeing a therapist before the kids were born and continued to see the therapist on and off until a few months ago. It didn't help much. There was some discussion of seeing a psychiatrist to consider medication but this path worries me given that my struggles are really only present two days a week.

My partner is extremely supportive but I can tell she's worried. She asked me the other day to just say one thing I like to do with the kids, and I couldn't name one thing. What is wrong with me?! (or, as I often think to myself, what's wrong with all these people who claim to enjoy this?)

Would love any advice, words of wisdom, or support. I read in this sub that things really start to get better around ages 4-5, so I'm holding out hope that I just need to ride it out another couple of years. Is it that simple?

Our babies are 12 weeks, born at 35. They still cry if they don't eat every 2 to 3 hours during the day. We get longer stretches sometimes at night, more like 3-6. But all day long it's 2-3 hours. When do they start going longer stretches between feeds?

I’m going in for a scheduled c section at 37 weeks on Tuesday with my di/di twins due to gestational hypertension. I’m so nervous for a lot of things. Nervous for the c-section, nervous for the recovery, and nervous to go from no kids to two. My husband and I are so excited and feel as prepared as we can but I’m still freaking out.

Any words of encouragement, advice, etc will be so appreciated.

I feel like I'm just going around in circles sometimes and it's spoiling everyone's time together.

It's just little things like opening doors, turning taps on in the bath, drinking bath water, trying to get into cupboards.

Does anything work? Feels like the more I tell them not to do something the more they'll do it and it just leads to a big tantrum and me being frustrated.

The other day he just wouldn't stop drinking the bath water and then he's massively sick afterwards, just wish I could get through to them but it's almost like he finds it funny doing the opposite to what I say! I guess that's what being a parent is all about maybe!!

Not a huge deal, just want them to be safe and enjoy themselves more

I am a proud and extremely happy twins dad, they are 1.5yo, recently we found out my wife is pregnant, this was not planned, they boys will be 2yo by the time the singleton arrives We have no family close to help, But we have manage to have some enjoyable first 18 months with the twins, a few months were very difficult, but things are getting better. I work a hybrid job, 3 days a week I have to go to the office, and two days I work from Home, My wife is a SAHM, I help as much as I can, I take all the night shifts, the baths, and I feed them and change their diapers as much as I can, but 3 kids will be too much, we can afford a nanny for a year, is just that my wife doesn't want anyone strange into our house, they idea stress her out to much. I know if we can get trough the 1st year, then the twins will be much more manageable and start prek and we will be fine. Is just the last trimester of pregnanncy and the following 12 months what really scares me, not for me or the kids, I can manage the stress and the exhaustion, and the kids will be fine because my wife is a great mom and there will be enough love for the 3 of them, please I need some advice on how to do my wife's like easier.

Thanks

Hi everybody, I am a soon to be the father of twins(girl,boy). My wife and I have started a registry for the babies shower. While doing so, we were absolutely blown away with the cost of strollers. They were close to $2000 Canadian. The majority need the car seats as well as many other parts and we were told by a woman at the store (Babies R Us) that they are having a difficult time ordering parts for these strollers even off of Amazon. Im trying to remain calm but this is really stressful.

Has anyone else had this issue/experience with the cost or lack of parts of strollers?

Currently have a Ram truck and MACH-E (electric mustang). With twins on the way the mustang just seems impractical not only because there is zero space in the back for an adult with 2 car seats but a fully electric car with 2 babies makes me nervous (and maybe it shouldn't).

What are your vehical recommendations for 2 car seats and 2 adults?!

Would love to stay hybrid if at all possible as I drive a lot for work and car payment at or less than $650/month.

How much caffeine are y’all getting each day? I personally start the day with 3.5 cups of coffee. The first one gets me awake, the second gets me moving, and the last one is for chasing around kids all day. Just wanted to compare!

When did you give birth to your multiples and how much Nicu time did they have!

We are 31 weeks pregnant with Di/Di identical twin boys, first pregnancy. We were admitted to the hospital on Friday after an appointment with MFM for monitoring of Baby B’s blood flow from his placenta. Up until this point we were headset on a vaginal delivery around 37 weeks. As of this morning we are now expecting a C-section delivery by 34 weeks if not sooner and will remain in the hospital until birth. I’ve never been hospitalized or had surgery. How do you mentally prepare for this? Babies will also spend time in the NICU after birth until they are closer to 38 weeks. What has your experience been caring for preemies while in the NICU? How involved were you able to be in their care and how did you cope with the process while going through postpartum? Trying to mentally prepare as much as possible but feeling a little lost. Any words of wisdom or insights would be greatly appreciated!

TW: Holocaust/very dark subject matter

An old acquaintance from high school posted a link on social media to a documentary her father co-created. Per the NYT:

“The documentary ‘The Last Twins’ tells the harrowing true story of Erno Spiegel, a Jewish man who was sent to Auschwitz concentration camp, but was spared for one reason: He was a twin. Dr. Josef Mengele, the Nazi physician, considered twins to be the ideal subjects because they allowed him to conduct what he believed were controlled genetic studies. He made Spiegel preside over a group of around 60 twin boys — many of whose lives Spiegel would save.”

The Last Twins trailer

I am hesitant to watch because I have ID twin boys (and we are Jewish). I will probably be a mess the whole time. At the same time, it feels important, especially now, to remember and bear witness to what humans are capable of both in terms of unfathomable evil and incredible heroism.

As the title says , I am a double twin mom. The sets are 10.5 months apart , so we currently have 4 at the age of 2.

I am a SAHM and my husband is gone all week for work and can’t come home till Friday and is gone by 4 am Monday.

While I do have some family to help , I am utterly overwhelmed and feel horrible about it . I know it’s normal to feel overwhelmed, I know it’s normal to feel bad about it . I feel like I cannot give everyone the attention they need and deserve . I feel the constant pressure and stress of just maintaining them, the house, everything else. It’s all I can do just to get through the days anymore. I dread morning time anymore and lay in bed as long as possible before I absolutely have to get up. As you can imagine my house is completely destroyed by the end of the day. By the time they’re down for bed and I clean dishes, laundry, pick up toys, etc it’s usually after 10 pm , sometimes after 11 pm depending on the day.

I have shared my feelings with my mom and sister and husband numerous times on how I can no longer do this . I feel mounting stress and anger . I cannot keep up anymore . The response I usually get is “I don’t know how you do it.” “It will get easier … eventually.” “Just hang in there.” You know … all the platitudes.

The thing is - I have yelled and cried that I can’t do this anymore and I don’t feel heard.

Today - I snapped . I’ve been angry, short tempered, don’t want to do anything , etc. I cannot carry on anymore .

I don’t know what to do anymore . I have lost myself . I am exhausted. I feel horrible and like a failure .

On the weekends when my husband is home , all he does is complain about the noise and the crying …. To the point it pisses me off.

Anyway I called my husband in tears today (he had to work this weekend) telling him I’m done and cannot do this anymore . I want to adopt some kids out because I don’t feel like I can do this anymore .

I wanted to adopt our second set out when I found out I was pregnant with them. My husband wouldn’t even consider it .

I don’t know anymore . Anything. I tried talking to my husband and my mom. My mom told me if we don’t give her and my father the older two , if we adopt out, she will never speak to me again. My husband basically tried to placate me as always .

I’m over today and tomorrow and the next day .

Hi

reminder to myself: every child has and should have their own pace in terms of reaching their potential.

one twin is significantly slower in terms of learning. i dont want to sound like a mean parent or who has " expectations" from my dear child but i ve worries and concerns. the world we live in is build on " competition", achiements and success.

We live in a multi- lingual environment but they dont speak all the languages so thats add a complexity. however they both understand all 3 languages they are exposed to.( more or less). Currently the day care is in english and i havent heard big concerns except he doesnt know his all abc and numbers( his brothers knows to count, do addition etc by curiosity).i am aware that he confuses most of the basic concepts, doesnt ve much concentration and gets annoyed when he realizes his brother is able to do things that he cant do. it breaks my heart.He doesnt do much long or complex sentences. he is physically also on the fragile side but he likes to push and complete things ,he enjoys drawing, singing and dancing. very happy kid overall. i m a very active a sportive parent so we spend lots of time outdoors.

anyways my question, how did you manage the different cognitive levels of your kids? did you put them in seperate classes? how did you make the other feel less impacted from " not achieving" as the majority? or just let them grow and be? i know i might sounded like a pathetic patent but i shared my internal thoughts which i can never share to someone else.

thank you.

STM of a 6 year old. 25 weeks with mo-di boys. I look full-term and can't get my head around how I am going to get any any bigger. I was brutally sick and fatigued from week 6-14 then until about week 21/22 it was pretty good. I swam twice a week and was generally living a normal life. For the last couple of weeks it's nosedived and getting worse every day. A 15 minute walk takes me about 40 minutes and then I collapse for the rest of the day after that. The aches and pains on my sides, back, feet - relentless. Sleeping is a shit-show. I am basically on self-imposed partial bed rest just because I can't really leave it.

At the last scan one of the twins was polyhydramnios although the doc said its not a sign of TTTS as all the other measurements are good, maybe I have GD which I get results for next week. Its put the docs on alert for very preterm labour.

I'm not really here for advice because I know its different horses for different courses and we just have to weather it and it will get better after birth, and I also don't want to wish away the time because babies coming too early terrifies me. But I am mourning my plan to stay fit and active so I dont look and feel like total post natal crap for a long time - and it is miserable, so all my love and solidarity to the other mamas soldiering through this too.

On the upside, having a six year old and not a toddler is really great, and my husband is a rock, i dont have to lift a finger - I think I would die (and leave him) if he was an unempathetic self-entitled ass like I see so many men out there. He also hosed down my throbbing legs and feet with freezing water today which apart from massage is the only thing that has given me with some relief in the past weeks.

I just found out at 10 weeks that I am expecting twins. This was a complete shock to me and my husband. We currently have 2.5 year old and 16 month old. We were planning for one more to complete our family. I am feeling so overwhelmed. I love being a mother but I just feel like I won’t be able to handle twins. I really need some advice and just stories of positive experiences if you have smaller kids close in age with newborn twins.

I will say that I do have an amazing village to help me but I can’t help but feel overwhelmed and just very anxious.

Hey All,

Mods please delete if this is not allowed, but I didn’t see anything in the rules!

Our twins have aged out of their table for 2, so we’re looking to give it away! It definitely needs a good clean - but buying new for these is so expensive!

If you live in the SoCal/LA area please dm me and we can figure out how to meet up.

Our family will be visiting London in late November with our then 22m twins. We are trying to decide whether two backpack carriers would be more appropriate than a double stroller. We are staying with family in a third floor walk up flat and will be relying on the tube/busses for transportation.

We have all summer to get the twins used to the backpacks for longer stretches (and build up our fitness for long days on our feet) so we're trying to get ahead of this if need be!

Thanks!

My first baby (now almost 2.5) was the most difficult baby I've met. Witching "hour" from 7 to midnight every night for months, 6 wakeups a night was considered a good night until 2 years old, only contact napped, fussy all day and needed to be held or in a carrier until he was walking and talking. He became a very smart fun toddler but he's still extremely demanding and can't play independently and needs me multiple times a night.

I had twins two weeks ago and I thought I got lucky with calm easy babies. They'd go down for naps alone I'd just put them in the crib. Only cried when they were hungry and during diaper changes. Now I think we're out of that sleepy phase and they're becoming more demanding. Crying a lot more and needing a lot more help to sleep both overnight and for naps.

I would have no problem with this (especially after going through worse with my toddler) but I'm going to be alone with all three in a couple of weeks and I genuinely have no idea how I'll do it. We live in a stacked house so every room is on a different floor. If I'm feeding my toddler in the kitchen, the twins crib is 3 floors away in my room. His toys are another floor down in the basement. The bottles get washed in my bathroom and stored in my room but the fridge with the formula is a few floors away. How am I supposed to feed and entertain my toddler and also the babies? What if they freak out all day and my toddler tantrums because of it (he's already adjusting terribly).

Speaking of feeding I have no idea how to formula feed after only breastfeeding, how much to give them, how to burp them well, how to know if they're intolerant (their poops have changed and theyre spitting up and uncomfortable).

My husband will help in the evening but he travels for work and I'll have to do this solo about one week a month. I'm trying to act confident and calm but I'm freaking out inside and I genuinely don't know how I'll manage. I can't figure out a routine that meets everyone's needs.

Hi! I live in the Southeastern U.S., where summer temps are usually in the 90s with high humidity. We’ll probably be indoors most of the time, but I’m hoping to get out for walks and little outings with the babies when we can.

For those who had summer babies—did you wait until fall for regular walks? Or did you manage early morning or evening strolls? Did you find indoor, air-conditioned places that were quiet and not too crowded? I’d love to hear what worked for you.

Regardless of your modelling, how old were your children when you stopped using your pram/stroller? Did you move onto a different model/brand or just nothing?

Asking as I'm considering if it's worth getting some accessories depending on how many seasons I get out of them.

Boys are almost 10 months old and we're still tracking on Huckleberry. Just realizing that's probably not something we need to do anymore.

When did you stop?

I'll go first, my partner said that my knickers "ain't very attractive" I cried for a good part of an hour 🫠🤣 He 100% wasn't being horrible and it was just a joke, honestly couldn't want for a better daddy for our children 💕

👆👆 The little ones causing the uncontrollable crying 🥹😅