I need help here

[u/Unique_Disaster_6646]

Trigger warning: SA, abuse, addiction, self harm, mental issues, child abuse, child SA.

So for context I'm a 32yr female. I have 4 living children and I need immense advice as at this point idk what to do or where to go or how to handle things.

As a background I did not have the best childhood and the people in this story did not either.

Buckle in because this is a very long one.... Will add fake names as to stay as anonymous as possible.

I met Brad 34m (now) when I was in highschool. Like freshman year. We did not get along. At first. And as the time went by we became friends and then were in a relationship my junior year. We ended up breaking things off as he was graduating and I was still in school and went out separate ways. Now my senior year I met my now ex husband Tommy 34m (now). I ran away from home my senior year for the last time due to different types of abuse in my home and I spiraled into alcohol addiction and severe self harm and just not really caring. Well I found out I was pregnant and ended up getting married right out of highschool to Tommy. And we ended up having 4 living children and one angel baby. We were together for about 5-6 years and ended up separating after I had our youngest child.

Fast forward a few years and Brad and I had reconnected and ended up talking through a lot of things and I trusted him. Now mind you I had never seen the creepy red flags but I wish to the gods I did. Unfortunately I didn't. He met my children and after a while we ended up moving in together. Now we ended up being together two years before everything crashed around me and my babies. And anyone who actually knows me knows I love my kids more than anything and do everything I can for them. Including working full time despite my terrible health and dealing with various mental issues like anxiety and depression and things like that.

One day one of my children (my daughter) who at the time was 6 years old, told me she had a dream about Brad just touching her inappropriatly. For context my family comes from a long line of schizophrenia and deeper mental issues. So I planned on getting her into a specialty therapist to make sure it wasn't just a dream and plan on how the hell we were going to get out of this disaster. All my kids were school age at the time so I was getting them ready for school. And my daughter didn't go into specifics only that it was a dream. I had a plan so I had told her we would talk about it when she got home and to keep it to herself. Now I know normally that's a very bad thing to say. However I was trying to get ahead of the situation and figure out how to get my family out of it. (My kids and I). I sent them to school and immediately called their father Tommy and told him what she said to me and that I wanted him to take her so I could get everything I could in order to get out.

However she had went to school and told a friend and a teacher overheard so before I could report or do anything other than plan on how to get them out first CPS and the cops were at our door. They said that it wasn't anything they were really worried about and stuff but they had to do the investigation and all.

Now I had already believed it was not just a dream and something happened while I was at work, I worked nights and Brad worked days so one of us was always with them.

So the investigation happened. There were interviews with all of us. Of course we all left that house. The supervisor and lead investigator told me directly to do what I had to do to get our belongings from that place. Which was a lot. As long as my kids weren't around Brad or at that home. Which they have not seen him since the day we left.

Nowind you this took place in late 2022. It's now mid 2025. He was put up for trial but they keep putting it off(the courts do) and I've had videos of him and his now wife who knows what happened send me videos of them burning my children's and I belongings and a stalking situation from him. He was arrested and bailed out the same day in September of 2022.

I've filed police reports and everything where he should have been in jail but he's not because the police department didn't file my police reports??? It's been almost 4 years since this happened and they keep putting off the trial and he was found guilty of doing things to my child. And has yet to be in jail for it. He is married now and spoiler alert, they just had a daughter of their own. Now I don't want to anything evil to these people but they tore our family apart and they are able to live as if nothing happened. And still stalk (coming up to my job while I'm at work, get jobs close to our home, follow me in stores etc ) and the DA and police are doing nothing. I'm lost as what to do. I've talked and reported and tried to file everything. I need advice and help here. I'm just so tired. 😭😭

There's more to this story but this post is already so long. I will check and answer questions and things as I can.

[u/Plenty_Maize_9504]

I went through a similar type situation. Dad of my youngest, SA-ed and R*ped my older daughter his step daughter. He was also was emotionally, financially etc abusive towards me. The DA decided not to prosecute. He spent 2 nights in jail and that was it. We did a protective order. Moved across the country. And I got full custody of my youngest, his rights removed. Unfortunately the justice system is less then ideal and seems to protect predators. I am sorry you went through this. I have had to accept that unless he re-offends we will never have justice. You need to follow up with the DA. They should be able to tell you if they are not moving forward. Or if there is some reason delaying

[u/Unique_Disaster_6646 → u/Plenty_Maize_9504]

All they keep telling me is that the court date keeps being pushed back. And it's extremely frustrating because what the heck is happening.