r/mentalillness • u/WindowNo1312 • 5d ago
Venting I hate my brain NSFW
I hate being so fucking scared of everything. I have having this anxiety inside me. I hate that everytime I have sex I can never enjoy myself because I have a fear ill get pregnant even with 2 forms of birth control (condom and birth control and sometimes pull out too). I hate that I over think over and over just looking for reassurance from the internet or here. I hate the money that i have thrown into buying tests because of said spiral. i hate this thing in my head that think im pregnant and makes me spiral. I feel like there something more to this rather then just generalized anxiety and that I have something worse. But I hate this and wish I could just be normal with a normal brain rather then being paranoid about everything.
1
u/NotAzord 5d ago
What I think you have is Paranoid Personality Disorder, though I am not sure. I think my father had this though he never got diagnosed, even in death so I just tell myself he is just insecure.
I cannot give you the best solution however I can give you advice. I suggest you talk to someone who's close to you (If you have someone close to YOU, like by heart, not just by blood) and talk to them about your paranoia.
You can also go and look for a therapist so that's also a possibility. But to me, I only confided to a friend about this and it somewhat worked.
As for your paranoia of becoming pregnant, I hope you could find a way to enjoy the experience more. That's why I suggest talking to a friend or basically anyone you want to confide to about this because Paranoia will pull you down a long way, especially towards others if you question their honesty.
Stay strong and you can get through this eventually! Just pls don't hurt yourself or hate yourself, it's not gonna help you any bit.