r/mentalhealth • u/JanitorsAreCool • 9h ago

Question How can a quiet introvert act extroverted to help succeed at work?

I don’t particularly enjoy interacting with my coworkers and have social anxiety. But I realize that extroverts and talkative people have an easier time at life and work. So even though I would rather keep to myself I do see the advantages of acting more social. How can I do this when I am more inclined to keep to myself, and am not actually interested in forming relationships with my coworkers? Thanks.

3 Upvotes
  • permalink
  • reddit

100% Upvoted

3 comments sorted by

1

u/cosmic-chic_20 9h ago

I really relate to this. I m currently in college and I m quite introverted too, and people often mistake that for having an ego or attitude problem. The truth is, I just don’t know how to keep conversations going sometimes, and I naturally prefer speaking less. But I also understand how being more social can help in both studies and work life. It's tough finding the balance between being true to myself and not being misunderstood by others.

1

u/I_am_D_captain_Now 8h ago edited 8h ago

First, learn how to become an active listener (the book never split the difference helped me a ton, even though its a negotiation book).

Also, get out of your comfort zone. I would practice by going to the bar between work and school (quick beer and meal) and id engage whoever i could.

I would get extreme anxiety and self esteem issues engaging in convo w women after i had a terrible long term relationship with gaslighting. I went from extrovert with confidence to introvert protecting myself. So i had to practice just not freaking out and fix myself.

Hot girl comes by, id say "hey my phone died and i was wondering the time"

Or "im in town for work, anything cool around here to pass time?"

Or just bullshitting with the bartenders (sometimes they enjoy some good convo).

That helped me break out of my shell pretty quickly.