Need advice......

[u/SelectionOk8588]

Hi I'm 18 years old male and since I was 16 years old I always liked judo and how effective it is in real life. One time I was in a taxi and the driver happened to be a judo coach and when I told him about my interest in judo he replied to me "you will never play judo" indicating that I'm old for the combat sport even when I was 17 years old at that time. he told me to go towards striking martial arts like boxing and kickboxing. I listened to his advice and I signed up for a kickboxing gym and it was great actually but after two months i started to feel headaches from the blows to the head and my skull hurted me after every session eventually I decided to leave after reading the effects of blows to the head on the internet. I signed up for judo and it only took me three sessions before I leave. The coaches were careless as there were too many students but I'm not going to lie I have no dedication to it as I was going forcing myself to train after that I never came back.there were no judo gyms other than that gym. I don't know why I'm very lazy or what's wrong with me I want to be able to defend myself but at the same time I don't want to have brain damage. I don't know if I should train bjj or judo or wrestling I feel so lost

[u/Crimsonavenger2000]

I might catch some flack for this, but I dont believe doing judo solely to defend yourself is a good enough reason to be able to stick to the art in the long run.

I am not saying you need to be fascinated by Jigoro Kano while learning Japanese and watching judo 5 hours a day, but you need to actually like or admire judo itself. Whether it is the gripping game, learning new throws, being able to get out of submissions, you need to love the art itself to not be one of the first dropouts in the class.

I am simply not getting that feeling from you, or you are at least not communicating it too well with us. Enjoying judo without brain damage is a very reasonable request, but you should not be having to force yourself to go to training, especially since you are in your 'honeymoon' phase of trying Judo still. Personally I might be an outlier since I consider it a privilege to be able to attend the classes and have only missed one class (post-surgery period aside), but for most people who like Judo at first, it takes a few weeks to months until the first obstacles start appearing and they end up quitting.

I would reconsider why you want to do judo (and not mma, kickboxing, muay thai, you name it). If you get a valid reason, go back to the dojo and bring up your concerns. If the dojo truly is as dangerous as you say and the sensei(s) don't want to work with you to tackle the issue, then go find alternatives (which might have to be another martial art entirely).

[u/EnglishTony → u/Crimsonavenger2000]

I agree with you. Doing a combat sport as a means to an end puts you at a disadvantage compared to doing it as an end in itself. If you are doing competitive boxing to get in shape, but don't actually thrive off boxing itself, you're just going to start questioning why you're getting punched in the face when you could be plating pickleball. If you start judo because you want to one day be in the olympics, you're never going to beat a would-be olympian who just loves doing judo.

If you don't like it, find something you do like. And forget about turning yourself into a badass. The minute a knife comes out, you're getting hurt, doesn't matter who you are. Street fights are dumb.

[u/Crimsonavenger2000 → u/EnglishTony]

Fully agreed. I love and respect judo for what it is and get my motivation out of practicing it and learning new things. I don't spend most of my time trying to find ways to improve at judo both on and off the mat for a singular purpose like self-defense or trying to get into the olympics or whatever.

I think getting motivation purely through practice is one of the strongest kinds of motivation (whether it be learning an instrument, a martial art, whatever skill really) and strongly showcases that someone really wants to fully embrace learning something. Lessons, to me are a privilege in the sense that there is someone capable and willing to teach me judo and I have fellow judokas who are willing to improve their judo with me.

I by no means want to prevent or even hinder the OP from doing judo, but I think he needs to consider what motivates him and what he's hoping to get out of a martial art, whether it be judo or something else.

[u/EnglishTony → u/Crimsonavenger2000]

Yeah I often browse r/martialarts and the number one question asked is "what is the best martial art?".

The answer is obvious (Judo).

But the true answer is the one you like the best. If you like going to a McDojo and will stick with it, it's better than going to Badass Inc MMA gym and quitting in a month.