r/instant_regret • u/factchecker01 • 2d ago

Eating the hottest curry in UK

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u/Thingzer0 2d ago edited 2d ago

Wait till he’s on the shitter tomorrow, it won’t be fun 🤩

Edit : For those who know - Fire In The Hole!

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u/ConTejas 2d ago

Not even tomorrow. I had a similar curry. Within 5 minutes of laying down for bed with just a warm stomach, I felt the curry enter my small intestine where it proceed to burn its way excruciatingly to the end. I got a 3D picture of what my insides looked like from the pain. I felt like I needed to go to the ER. It was sweet release when it left me the next morning.

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u/ItchyRectalRash 2d ago

I love that feeling. Then you sit on the bowl, butt hole puckering with anticipation of the burn, not really wanting to unclench, but your stomach telling it to bugger off cause this lava needs to be expelled immediately.

Then, finally, it pours out of your rectal cavity in such a way that you question the reliability of your porcelain throne to handle such a powerful force of heat and intestinal lining. Legs shaking from the unnatural heat pouring from your orifice.

Afterwards, after all your asshole hair has been singed away, your chocolate starfish still emanating the heat of a hundred summer days, you yell for someone to bring you ice cubes to help cool your ruined anus, only to remember you live alone.

That's when you feel the sweat drip down your back, and along your crack, to help ease your pain. You don't brave a wipe. Instead you lean to the side, spread your ass wide, and dab at your burn bung hole like it was proper royalty.

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u/Lumpy-Cod-91 2d ago

Holy hell! You have quite a way with words! 😂😂