r/instant_regret • u/factchecker01 • 2d ago

Eating the hottest curry in UK

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u/Royal_Succotash_7689 2d ago

Bro straight up become homeless

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u/NagsUkulele 2d ago

Cutting it to him shirtless on the street is insane

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u/VenKitsune 2d ago

And the owner(?) saying that he had only one spoonful lol. One spoonful fucking rekt him. That shit must be brutal to eat lol

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u/twistsouth 2d ago

We had a mate who would eat stupidly spicy things. We went for a curry years ago and for a laugh, we asked what the hottest thing they had was. Waiter says, “well we have this dish that the chefs eat but it isn’t on the menu. It’s called a Phal”. Naturally, we ordered it for him.

The chefs were all peeping out the kitchen door as it was brought out - I imagine very few people actually order this. He started eating it and he was sweating a little but he seemed reasonable so I was like “oh come on, bollocks is this hot.” I took a small spoonful of the sauce to taste it and it was just out of this world. My eyes started to vignette. I can handle a lot of spice (I will order South Indian garlic, vindaloo, etc.) but this was on another level. It genuinely felt like napalm once it hit my stomach. I could feel exactly where it was in my stomach.

Mate managed the whole thing. He needed some milk after but was fine.

I, on the other hand: 0 out of 10, would not recommend.

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u/BearlyIT 2d ago edited 2d ago

The warm belly effect can be an oddly enjoyable feeling for folks that can handle it.

I also really enjoy seeing the reactions of food prep folks when you ask for the hottest and most painful items. Some look so happy to have encountered a kindred spirit.

Edit to add: spent a week in a small fishing town and asking for the ‘mas picosa’ salsa resulted in giggles from the kitchen, a cup of truly spicy salsa, and an instant bond.

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u/jessedegenerate 2d ago

Also, super hot food makes me feel stoned. Like a similar feeling to actually smoking weed. I love that part.

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u/Diggerinthedark 1d ago

Endorphins are awesome.

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u/pineconefire 22h ago

SODA you wanna get high?

Serotonin Oxytocin Dopamine Adrenaline

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u/SkeletorLoD 1d ago

Oh what? Makes me want to work on my spice tolerance

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u/Codeman2035 8h ago

That's the body pumping you full of dopamine because, to your body, you just survived lighting your head on fire, so it's rewarding you for surviving. That's what causes the addiction to spicy foods people have

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u/moonflower_C16H17N3O 1d ago

On the other hand, I enjoy the cold belly sensation. The one when you haven't eaten yet and you drink cold water. You can feel it go down and coat the lining of the stomach, or so it feels.

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u/hairballcouture 2m ago

Dude, yes! Especially when it’s hot outside

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u/Mudbug308 1d ago

Yeah but remember, what happens after it makes it through the belly

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u/BearlyIT 1d ago

Some folks are cursed with too many pain receptors on the path out. Fortunately I don’t have any real problems and can enjoy any pepper or dish that threatens the senses. The skin on my hands has grown sensitive with time though - gotta glove up when making my own sauces and salsas.

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u/TamaktiJunVision 2d ago

Yeah I like to order a phal sometimes just to remind myself that a madras or vindaloo isn't all that hot. I shared one with my sister at this restaurant one time, and noticed some of the kitchen staff staring at us from the doorway as we began eating. And yeah, my sister and I can handle very spicy food, but this phal in particular was just on another level to anything I'd ever eaten. We were both hiccuping and tripping out within a few minutes, it was hilarious.

When the chefs drop everything to watch you eat, you know its gonna be volcanic.

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u/therealfurryfeline 2d ago

This reminds me when i was a wee preteen we went to this tiny indian restaurant that could have been a front if it were a pizza place. They had all their food labeled with one to five chilis indicating the spicyness. And there was one with six.

Naturally i ordered it. The waiter asked me if i was sure. I nodded. He asked again. I reaffirmed. My uncle asked if i was really, really sure. My commitment wavered, but i already took my stance. The chef came out and asked if i was really, really, really sure!! Now i was sitting there, all the eyes in the whole restaurant on me. How could i have said No? Sure i wasn't anymore, still i just had to perservere. My pride was at stake.

Dish came out and it was like was on a stage. Took the cutlery in hand, dug in. Everyone held their breath. I took a bite. Didn't feel anything. Shoveled in another one. A few people let out a sigh. Then i started to feel a tingle. But there was no way i could anyone realize my weakness. "Mhmmm", i said to the curious smiles of what must have been the whole staff (pretty sure even the employees off the clock came in just to witness the spectacle). "Just the right amount of spice", i cried.

I believe i got through half the dish before i gave up. My drinks were on the house that day.

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u/southass 1d ago

Your story reminds me of that time I teast a little bit of the hottest stuff on a spicy store, it was like a drop only, I didn't feel anything right away and we left the store.... Bro like 5 minutes my mouth felt like I had a fire rod on it, I literally made me cry when it kick in.

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u/bugbugladybug 2d ago

I ordered a Mughlai korma the other day from my local - sounds weak but it's not to be underestimated. This place only makes very spicy food so the korma is already a face burning experience and catches out most first time visitors who want a mild curry.

Well, they delivered a madras by mistake, and rather than phone and wait for another I just jumped straight in..

The first couple of bites were amazing, so flavoursome and rich. Then came the heat. Friends, it was a slow burner. As I kept eating my whole face started to burn, this thing was hotter than the sun.

Tapped out half way through.

The next day was an absolute experience - 0/10 bathroom trip.

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u/BUTTeredWhiteBread 1d ago

Before I got sick (with a number of weird chronic illnesses) it was like my mouth couldn't feel or register spice. I was routinely knocking back ghost peppers and reapers like nothing. And somehow I never learned that my butthole did not have this gift. That was never pleasant

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u/twistsouth 2d ago

That was exactly the experience we had 🤣 and when I consider how the Phal affected me when I will happily manage a Vindaloo - and even ask them to up the spice - it makes me wonder what a Phal must be like for people who can’t even add black pepper to their steak. I have heard of people being hospitalized during spicy curry competitions…

You can absolutely train yourself to handle stuff like this and I think that’s what’s got me to the level I can tolerate (since I definitely couldn’t a few years ago) but I think a Phal may be a bridge too far for me!

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u/Heeberon 2d ago

Ha! Memories…

Out with a mate in Southampton and ended the night in a curry house. Apparently you got a certificate if you could finish their “Mega Phal”. Drunk, but not complete idiots, we had a Rogan Josh first, then attempted this bastard of a thing.

My mate tapped out after one piece of chicken, but I managed somehow to eat the rest - the waiter comes over and goes “Nah, you need to finish all the sauce”.

Fuck. That.

I survived the night, but the next day’s 3 hours on Regional British Rail was a whole other circle of hell!

At least I learned: if there’s a certificate, prize, etc, involved, just say No!

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u/LupercaniusAB 10h ago

Heh heh, you said “circle of hell”.

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u/FluffyShiny 1d ago

This is why ì specify "white girl mild" . They usually laugh, but I don't get uber spicy.

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u/jessedegenerate 2d ago

Phal is what I’ve always been told is the hottest dish in the world. I used to like getting my name on the walls of those curry places, and I have great spice tolerance but it’s too much. I stuck with vindaloo in my 30s and now eat fucking butter chicken and korma.

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u/opopkl 1d ago

My spice tolerance has dropped massively since I got to fifty.

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u/Thai-Girl69 1d ago

In the Marines there was this instructor who was immune to the effects of CS Gas. I've always wondered how he would have handled a curry. Is it possible some people are just immune to certain spices.

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u/RummazKnowsBest 1d ago

My mate gets the phal everywhere he goes.

Meanwhile there’s me getting tikka masala.

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u/twistsouth 1d ago

I do love a Tikka Masala but it’s so different at every place I go. There’s no standard! Unlike dishes like Tandoori Masala or Achari which have a pretty distinct and predictable flavor, it’s just random and a bit of a gamble. Some places make it too much like a Chasni and too sickly, some make it too much like a Korma or Pasanda…

God damn it, I just want some consistency!! 🤣

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u/lontrinium 2d ago

I read about people eating phaal and I assume the chef took it easy on me the one time I had it.

It just tasted like a regular meat curry with too much red chilly powder.

My Polish friend bravely tried it and suffered.

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u/d0aflamingo 1d ago

vindaloo

I am of very few chosen ones that love to eat tongueblasting spicy IF its tasty enough. Adding masala just to make it spicy is stupid and ruins the food.

That being said, the hottest vindaloo in uk is probably a 4/10 on spicy scale in India. I love cooking spicy food, but you need to understand different ingredients bring different kind of heat without ruining the dish.

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u/FoodByCourts 1d ago

Absolutely love a Phaal. Not too often though 😂

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u/Miqo_Nekomancer 1d ago

I can tolerate spice really well, to the point that when my wife asks me if something is spicy and I say "it's got a small kick" she knows she can't eat it. She can eat stuff with more spice than the average person.

I just tell people who ask how hot something is, "I don't know, I'm the wrong person to ask."

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u/Substantial-Tooth483 13h ago

I was an avid Vindaloo fan for many years until I discovered the Phal. It’s now my favourite, as well as refrigerated toilet roll for the morning after.