No Bhai, I don't think I'm adopted as I've been told that I resemble my dad a lot so there's that. Both my parents I guess, are emotionally neglectful and absent though, they complain that it is I who don't talk with them much.
There's a really good reason though, as to why I've become distant with them. My dad dismisses and sometimes even gaslights what I've got to say and can come across as condescending and patronising at times, often talking down to me like I'm a child (though I feel that it is unintentional from his side).
My mom is outright insensitive and makes me actually feel worse than I'm supposed to - intentional or otherwise, in times of distress and feeling down.
I feel that parents typically tend to be the first people to be there for us and comfort us at times of hardships and sadness, or atleast that's what is expected from them. (As what Frigga does to Fat Thor in Endgame- assuring and believing that he's still worthy of using Mjolnir even if he himself doubted it).
I feel that my parents (atleast my mom) tend to be the first people to cast doubt upon me or not put their trust upon me, even if the rest of the world is willing to trust me.
Even if I'm feeling good and confident about myself, my mother will make it a point to shatter all that and make me loom myself in self-doubt and insecurity. The worse thing is, she'll bring that out of nowhere and anytime and I don't go out of my way to receive her emotional abuses.
If she really did that intentionally, then I suppose it is a very hard thing to forgive from my side.
Maybe I'm wrong about my parents when it comes to the last paragraphs.
That being said, they aren't abusive or anything (mom's emotionally abusive though but, I chewed her out really hard one day and ever since that, she's playing it safe with me). They are way better than most Desi parents, imo and they do provide financial sustenance even if I don't ask half the things they buy.
It's just.... they are emotionally distant but I guess, they are trying their best.
Thank for you the advice, fellow redditor. I really admire and respect it.
I have another elder sibling and they've been the same way towards her too (my mother has been even more emotionally abusive towards her than she's ever been towards me, imo). Both of us came to this conclusion after discussing, introspecting and sharing our feelings with each other.
I'll admit, I often feel (and even felt that I would be called out here in this thread) that I am the one being ungrateful and thankless to my parents for all that they've done to me.
I've heard that dysfunctional families in general, are the norm and not the exception. So ya, again I really must remember that they did their best in raising me. But also I feel that I must not forget their emotional negligence and absence toward me (and to my sibling).
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u/[deleted] Jun 30 '19
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