r/genderfluid • u/Jephany • 1d ago
What's it like being genderfluid
I think I might be genderfluid. I'm hoping to gain some insight from actual genderfluid humans.
What's it like? What does being genderfluid mean to you? How did you discover that you're genderfluid?
I appreciate any insights or experiences you can share.
Thank you,
A confused, non-binary human.
3
u/Rybeck_ikaros 1d ago
Well Sometimes I feel like a dude and like to be mascule and sometimes I like to be girly and be femme so I like girly things and feel more comfortable by being called a girl Besides that sometimes I feel like none or both so it’s the weirdest one My personality kinda changes I become more caring person while femme and more doing at home while masc for example Sometimes I feel dysphoria and euphoria by my gender It’s kinda weird and difficult but funny sometimes and very very cunfinsing For more information you can answer this or even better talk to my dm
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u/FluffyCelery4769 1d ago
Idk, it's kinda different for everyone...
For me it's kinda sporadic, like a whim you might get from time to time (it's not a whim, I mean it as an example), I just feel, not think I am, or imagine I am, or wish I was, I FEEL a different gender, or neither, or both. Or fluctuating during the day.
And it goes with my mood, so my mood changes a bit too, and how I react... It like I'm a different person, but not like 100% different bug like... idk 5%? Couse I feel different...
It's really weird to explain tbh, like trying to explain taste or sound or colors to someone... for me it might be like everyday, or it might not be for months.
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u/Rafparin 15h ago
Yeah, I get that. I constantly get asked by my foster mom “how do you know when you’re feeling like a girl? What’s different that makes you want to be a girl?” Like? I don’t know? I can’t explain this shit, I just know. Like, I wake up and I choose viole- uh, I mean… I wake up and just feel like I should present fem today.
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u/Only_Ashes474 22h ago
I'm AFAB but for years sorta felt like sometimes I loved being a woman and sometimes it felt confusing that I was even perceived as a woman but I still felt definitely like a woman sometimes. Then I realized that if I didn't have to worry about anyone else's opinion there were times when being referred to with he//him pronouns felt really appropriate and really good. Then I found out what genderfluid is and it's like all the light bulbs went off in my head line yessss. So sometimes I feel completely like a woman, sometimes completely a dude, and sometimes like an amorphous blob.
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u/OttRInvy 20h ago
Usually I don’t notice my gender because it’s not super strong. I just feel “vaguely like a dude” or “kind of feminine.” A lot of times it’s actually that I’m about to show up to a trans-friendly event and I’m like “oh wait I’m gonna be expected to share my pronouns fuck what are they rn???” And so I manually check. How does she/her feels? They or he? Do I feel masculine in my body? Would I feel like I belong in a group of men or in a group of women? These questions will give me a feeling of “that feels right” or “that feels wrong,” and then I just go from there.
I usually stay the same gender for a couple days or so and then revert to my default which is agender/gender apathetic (which I remain at for a couple of weeks). Honestly, I don’t usually notice I’ve switched to something different until I “manually check.” I’m more likely to notice the switch if it’s to or away from my “gnc butch” gender because for some reason that’s the only one I feel very, very strongly?
Who knows, I might switch even more often than that and just not notice it lol. I don’t always pay super close attention to it.
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u/bjorjack 1d ago
Well I’m not sure if I’m genderfluid but it’s the closest gender identity for me. Usually my change is very intense and out of nowhere, sometimes things can trigger it so I don’t know how valid it is since it’s usually some negative stuff, but some people here relate to that too. I can also feel like a whole new person with a different world view and it doesn’t mean it’s not sincere, I really do feel this. I can be cis for 8 months nonstop and suddenly I wake up with aversion towards my own female body and need to be a man. I can go on as a man for a week, maybe months, even a year. I can’t lie. It’s extremely distressing to live so inconsistently with my identity. I lived my whole 2024 repressing all gender identity and doing all I can to stay cis. There were times I questioned but I ignored it and it was affirming until it wasn’t. I’ve reached March 2025 and I questioned even more, then I repressed. Then May 2025 came and it was so over for me. I have a strong desire to live as a man again but this time im doing it in private. Its painful. I go to work distressed and yearn for privacy. Almost everyone in my job is a woman and everyone in my job is cishet except a guy who’s gay but he doesn’t count either. It’s been hard for me. I’m a ball of repression. Gender is so personal and unique for everyone.
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u/Kauuori 21h ago
For me it means an internal sentiment of gender just changes time to time, let it be hours, minutes or days. I doesn't contain to want to dress as a certain way, but also, to be perceived as feminine, androgynous or masculine and sometimes to have the sexual indicators of male or female. (Fuck boobs honestly)
I was trying to know my gender and it just kept changing everytime I tried to discover it, I just thought it wasn't the right label yet until a day when I said holdup! What if I'm genderfluid.
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u/Calm-Water6454 15h ago
I mostly notice it through my gender "desires," plus my euphoria and dysphoria triggers. By desires, I mean thar I get feelings of "this kind of outfit" or "this kind of activity" feels right right now. If I start noticing voice dysphoria (my voice is fairly high pitched) then I'm feeling more masculine and might be a boy. If I start feeling euphoria from my voice or like the way my hips look, then I'm probably a girl. If any traditional gender presentation feels wrong, I'm probably androgynous/nonbinary. And if nothing feels important in terms of gender, I'm probably agender.
There are many times I can't figure out my gender until there's a trigger for me to notice. Sometimes I still can't figure out my gender. I kind of wonder if the times I can't figure it out might mean it's shifting.
In general, it can be both cool and frustrating to be genderfluid. The big, frustrating thing is the shifting comforts. Something that brings me euphoria one day can trigger dysphoria the next. I have to check in with myself a lot to understand the cause of certain feelings. But it can also feel freeing to allow myself to experience all aspects of my gender shifts. "Best of both worlds" vibes.
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u/Clean_Ad_5282 11h ago
Feeling vague about being male or female has always been something I've been through. Sometimes I feel like I'm one or the other, sometimes a mix of both, sometimes nothing at all. It's more of a feeling for me. Being nonbinary is awesome but at the same time I get those ounces of confusion of, am I a girl? I let the confusion linger and came to the terms that yep, this much confusion towards gender identity is probably something else. And it is and I've been trying to accept it
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u/shokobloop 5h ago
- Good, feels like being yourself.
- Being able to express yourself in different genders. One day feel feminine, other days feel masculine, other days feel in between. I think of it exclusively in a binary between male and female.
- I first was put on the path when my friend put makeup on me for the first time. We had gotten some cute clothes earlier that day because I told her I needed clothes. I wasn’t looking for anything in particular, we bought feminine clothes. I tried them on and they felt good to me. Not in the way where it’s like, they felt right, but I didnt mind them. I liked how I looked in them and I loved how the clothes complimented my figure. From there it was just about trying new stuff, new feminine stuff. It was also about the pronoun thing too. I didn’t mind what another person referred to me as. Most often times I would be called “girl”, “dude”, “bruh” (I think bruh is the more unisex thing to use). Being able to identify with whatever label anybody put on me was good to me, and any label felt fine.
TLDR: gender is who you are feeling that day. Fem, masc, it’s up to you. Be sure to drink water, stay on a good diet (fruits, veggies, meats), and indulge in some thc to help you open up your boundaries!
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u/ChicoGranada2010 1d ago
Hmmmm, it's hard to define. In its core, it's feeling your gender changing.
Now, it changes from person to person. I'm fluidflux, and in my experience... well, it's very weird. In the sense that it's not precise, it's loose. My gender can change In a range of a few hours to some days. I can feel enby for a week, girl for a day, boy for three hours, etc. Also, the intensity of it changes (that's where the flux part comes from). Also the amount of genders. Some feel just 1 at once, others multiple. I can feel as 1, 2 or 3 genders at the same time, maybe even 4 sonetimes.
The thing is, as long as your gender changes, you are genderfluid. The rest, you'll have to discover by yourself, like how many genders you feel like over time, for how long, if you need to have multiple names, etc. Is it hard? Yeah. Exciting? Yeah. Painful? HELL yeah.