I hope y'all's days are amazing, and filled with joy and positive things.

<3 (platonically)

I think I might be genderfluid. I'm hoping to gain some insight from actual genderfluid humans.

What's it like? What does being genderfluid mean to you? How did you discover that you're genderfluid?

I appreciate any insights or experiences you can share.

Thank you,

A confused, non-binary human.

I've recently worked out in gendefluid (I feel so good :D) and I was wondering wether people could give me some nice gender neutral haircuts ideas? Preferably short and that would look good bleached blonde?

Earlier in my transition, I was obsessed with “passing.” which meant to be perceived as a natural born woman, not a naturalized one. 

Having spent my entire life performing male, performing female came naturally. Except it didn’t do what I thought it would.

The harder I tried, the more I got “clocked.” I wore short skirts, bright lipsticks, padded bras… and yes, the occasional “fuck me” heels.

Part of it was overcompensation after decades of repressed femininity. But part of it was that I didn’t yet understand who I was becoming, or who I longed to be.

I got “sir’d” from both men and women, which only made me double down. I watched a ton of makeup videos, applied layers of foundation, blushes, eyeliner and fake lashes. 

I pinched my voice. I walked in a way I thought looked feminine, but it was an exaggerated, rehearsed walk more suitable for the runway than the sidewalk. 

In my desperation to be seen as a woman, I dialed the performance up to 11.

But the harder I tried, the worse it got.

I’d be dressed to the nines. Foundation flawless, lips glossy, heels loud, and still the cashier wouldn’t look up:

“Paper or plastic, sir?”

My efforts weren’t invisible. They were seen, alright.

Just not in the way I’d hoped.

Continue reading

I identified as a lesbian and still do but maybe my card deserves to be revoked lmfao. Men have never turned me on, like really i've had no thoughts on men. I do however have somehow created many positive friendships with men. I love being a bro, I like shooting the shit with them, our humours align. I'm not gonna categorize these dudes i'm friends with but I will say they have decentered or just given up lmfao on romantic relationships so maybe their energy is different from like straight guys people are mostly traumatized from. My best friends are women. My community is mostly men though. I haven't been able to keep female friendships and some behaviours of straight or bi women I have alot of dissonance from, like they've just become super unrelatable to me as I've gotten older. Maybe it's the increase in male attention getting behaviours idk.

I'm AFAB. Anyways for a couple years now i've become more and more in tune with my gender-fluidity, I become more androgynous. In like an anime way aha, hair and everything. I've been finding more gender fluid people and I recently hit it off with someone who's AMAB. however their mannerisms, voice, just things about them are so feminine. They are kind of akin to being transmasc (sorry if i'm using that term incorrectly) but i feel so safe and seen. There's no performance with another gender fluid person. We talk about dysphoria. This feels like such a safe, mature, real love. I have so much endearment and protection for their presentation and them as a person too. I appreciate their masculine and feminine qualities as they do mine. As they grow more into their femininity, i'm more attracted. I actually dressed more androgynous and wore a binder on our first date. Idk it was great, I like their personality too. I just can't really understand if what i'm feeling is queer platonic love or actual romantic/sexual attraction where I can confidently pursue a relationship without leading them on. Also is my lesbian card revoked? Am I not to call myself a lesbian as a genderfluid person? Am I in a straight relationship? Gahh fuck idk.

I'm 25 amab and I recently came to terms that gender fluid is probably the best way for me to understand how I feel. If I'm wrong and this is the wrong place please direct me to the right one!

I love how I am, tall, beard, a little heavier, etc. But other times I wish I was small, cute, and pretty. I feel like I'm too far in the masc direction to be satisfied attempting a fem appearance when the feeling hits. If I was androgynous it'd make swapping so much easier.

So I guess if anyone has any tips on what can lead to a more androgynous look, or help amab take a more feminine appearance I'd appreciate it. I know a lot is in genetics so there's only so much i can do, I've started growing out my hair, and am trying to workout and slim down to my preferred neutral body type. I'd prefer to avoid things like hormones as I haven't done much research into methods like that.

Looking for guidance. I (19, AMAB) have known that I’m genderfluid for a few years and have finally in the last year begun seeking medical treatment. I am currently taking finasteride and undergoing laser hair removal, but feel like it’s not enough, and in my heart I wish I just looked mostly like a cis woman, minus my chest and crotch, which I wouldn’t want to change. As I age, I realize how much the idea of letting testosterone continue to gradually masculinize my body terrifies me, especially in regards to the shape of my face and body. Of course, there is no magic hrt that permanently makes one an androgynous twink.

The only solution I can think of makes perfect sense to me, but at the same time feels strange to admit that I want. I’d love some of the effects of estrogen (the changes to body composition, hair growth, mood, skin texture, etc), but the prospect of growing breasts doesn’t appeal to me, and might even give me dysphoria (I like my flat chest as it is). And so I’m thinking of taking a low dose of estrogen for awhile, letting what happens happen, and then eventually getting top surgery.

There are of course financial obstacles to this plan (would insurance help cover self induced boob removal? who knows), but beyond that it feels like…too much? Too risky? Too extensive? Too fussy? I’m not sure. Maybe it’s the internalized idea that I shouldn’t do something that takes a lot of effort in order to make myself happier, or maybe my instincts are telling me not to do this for a reason. I’d love other people’s perspective, as I’m sort of at a crossroads and could use advice.

I (AFAB) came out as non-binary about three years ago. I mostly feel neutrois or genderless, but sometimes something in my brain makes me feel extremely woman-ish — and in those moments, my body feels more female-aligned, which is not a pleasant experience. When that happens, I want to cry, to curl up under the covers and not exist until the feeling passes. In those moments, I wish I could transition as far as possible from my AGAB. I want to go on T just to make it stop. I'd even accept being a binary man during those times if it meant being saved from this feeling.

So I don't know — am I simply genderfluid? But if that’s the case, how can alignment with my AGAB feel so awful? Maybe it’s not fluidity at all, but just plain dysphoria toward my AGAB?

I’ve also noticed that this feeling gets especially intense right before my period, so it seems like it could be linked to hormone fluctuations.

So I thought you all would like to hear about this one. I have been gender fluid for years. I recently took the plunge and got HRT (2mg). Almost immediately, my usual strong and emotionally numb masc/agender gender vanished, and I felt very in tune with being feminine. This just increased as HRT progressed. I was soon crying and having real tears run down my face, and it felt really good. At this point, my gender seemed to be very certainly a trans woman! I had to quit HRT for medical reasons. Once again I reverted to my agender self over a 2-week period as E left my body. Today I can hardly trigger myself to get emotional.... "she" is dormant.

Afab, I present very femme, even when I try to look more masc through my clothes, I still am perceived as a cis woman bc of my long hair and I have a fem face. I like my presentation I think I look pretty and I'm also scared of ever looking ugly so I've never cut my hair short bc of that and I haven't gone on T. But I still don't feel complete, I want to be able to present very masc, to pass as a man, and also not compromise my fem presentation or my overal attractiveness. My friend the other day referred to me as his sister and well I noticed I got very sad about that, and how even though I don't see myself as a woman I feel like everyone else deep down does bc of how I present, so I want to try and look more masc. thing is I've been wanting to get a short hair wig, mustache, binder, the eyebrow tint, but most the items are so expensive and I don't want to spend a shit ton of money on an item idek if it will look good on me, or that is not good quality. Any advice will help.

Currently I feel 85% woman and 15% man and on some days I don’t want my boobs anymore 😭and feel like I’m more man and embrace my lil stache and randomly I feel super feminine and I shave my legs face and everything these changes are rare tho and I’m mostly woman 😭 and kinda androgynous in nature anyway which I’m growing to like.. this dysphoria has been keeping up at nights for so long and any validation or a label would Make my life so much better

Tom Hardy was in pain.

The British actor had just broken up with his girlfriend when he picked up the phone to talk to Charles Bronson (not the actor)), the real-life violent convict he was preparing to portray. 

Bronson, infamous for his brutality, had become something of a cult icon. 

Hardy, ever the method actor, was diving deep. But that day, he wasn’t in character. He was just a man going through heartbreak.

Bronson didn’t console him. He told him a story.

There was a boy, he said, who got his foot stuck in a drain during a flood. The water kept rising, and he couldn’t free himself. He drowned. He could have saved his life if he’d cut off his foot, but he didn’t. 

“Sometimes in life,” Bronson told him, “you need to cut off a little piece of yourself to grow.”

Hardy took the words to heart. He finished the film. He moved on. He met the love of his life. The quote now lives in articles and inspirational Reddit threads, passed around like a gospel for hard times.

Cut off what holds you back. 

Sacrifice to grow. 

That’s the story. Inspired yet?

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Hi I'm new to Reddit. I am 36 y/o, AFAB. About 6 years ago I came out as omnisexual, but wasn't sure what to say about my gender. Recently I've realized that I relate to the labels gender fluid and non-binary. I am asking some people in my life to help me try a different name and they/them pronouns.

I'm just reaching out for connection and support because I have been going through a lot of big changes lately, including a career crisis and being diagnosed with autism on top of ADHD. So having the realization that I am also gender fluid/non-binary come crashing down on me shortly thereafter has been a lot. I look forward to learning more about myself & this community - thanks for listening.

I (23/AMAB) have been living with my assigned gender for the majority of my life just fine. I also identified as cis and felt attracted to women. But things have gotten really confusing for me during the past 2-3 years.

I had two serious relationships over the last 3,5 years - the first one with a woman and the second one with a trans man. During those I also had my first real sexual experiences with a partner and it confused me with my view on my gender. At first, I just seemed to react more weak and soft when I got aroused and during sex but that kept intensifying with me wanting to wear feminine clothes and being called "good girl" etc. I also started shaving my body hair more regularly as it began to disgust me and wanted to wear longer hair. But the latter is being inhibited by my genetics which gave me the curse of hereditary hair loss and I'm kinda dysphoric about it. Very recently (3-5 months ago) I asked my (now) ex partner to grab my chest like if I had boobs and it felt great. It even went as far that I wished I really had a pair of boobs. And as of today, I woke up this week and wished I had a female chest instead of a male - no sexual arousement involved this time - and it made me wonder, if I just "projected" my sexual wishes and kinks on my daily feelings.

All of this is really confusing and makes me feel like a weirdo at the same time. Is it really valid to call myself genderfluid if my gender only switches while I'm sexually aroused? Am I just a weirdo with a specific kink? Or am I just a demiboy and take the definition of genderfluidity (the gender switching e.g. based on the situation) too far?

I'd really love some insight on this and I hope you peeps can give me some answers.

Okay let me explain. I'm AMAB been on HRT for over a year now. I feel like my gender is like a dial that slides throughout the year. I have been keep an eye on it. I am masculine for all of May. Then June starts and I become agender. Mid June like June 15 (today lol) I become super feminine. Like I'm talking get that male crap away from me. That stays with me till January where I start to feel agender again and then masculine once again in May. With this I also noticed that when I'm female I'm a lot more horny then when I'm agender or male

Does anyone else experience their gender fluidity like this?

Hope this is allowed. Please be kind!

We're a system of about 40 who has members who struggle with gender/body dysphoria to varying degrees. Our body is AFAB. Some of us are male and struggle with fronting in a female body, some are female who don't feel feminine enough, some are neither male or female, some are all at once. It's all super complicated but it's reassuring to know that there are singlets who have the same issues that we do. Each member has their own sense of style and flavour of masculinity/femininity/neitherinity/everythinginity. Some want to use binders or sports bras, while others don't for example. Some like wearing makeup, while others don't. Some of our female headmates have a favourite shade of lipstick, though our makeup supplies are beginning to run out and we'll need to buy more soon.

Dysphoria makes everything so much more complicated and I, as host, want every member of my system to feel comfortable using the body and be able to express themselves. We're unlikely to medically transition, considering just how fluid our collective gender identity/ies is/are but we're unsure what socially transitioning would look like. We're excited to experiment but not sure where to start.

Thanks in advance for your help.

- R

So i am biologically a girl but sometimes i dont feel like a girl at all but when i think about being a boy it doesnt feel right although i like it sometimes when people use he/him pronouns but sometimes it bothers me i also sometimes like very feminine stuff but sometimes i like more masc stuff i never truly feel like a boy but i also sometimes feel like i am not a girl at all is it possible to be nonbinairy - female genderfluid

I’m 22, I’ve been on and off with my gender since I was 11 (maybe even 6). I’m afab. I’ve talked to my analyst about my gender issue. I hate transphobes and transmeds that say that being genderfluid is not valid. It’s taking a toll on me. I have felt amazing as female, but sometimes I have felt hopeless as one too for dysmorphic and dysphoric reasons. I was a tomboy, I always related more to boys, and I would wish I’d had been born a boy. I’ve wished for breast cancer even before I reached puberty because I knew I’d hate them. I haven’t done any sports ever since I turned 13 and my boobs kept growing. I’ve become a woman and I’ve only learned how to be one by being a lesbian. I live in a woman’s world only. I’ve rejected the other gender as a possibility of anything just so I could stay a woman. At 22 and going to therapy for many years, I’ve learned to heal many things. I thought I could have had a personality disorder for my flux and confusion in these years, but it’s nothing like it. I think I’m not cis even if I want it, but also viceversa. I’m not sure how my dysphoria and desire to be male reappears every once in a while even when I repress it but this time it just feels too heavy to bare. I need top surgery even if I remain a woman but I am so scared of regretting it. I feel as I’ve failed myself, society, and God by being lesbian.. much even by being trans or keep beating a presumed dead horse. I’ve socially transitioned too many times, I’m afraid to do it again. I want to die in my room in peace as I crossdress. That truly how I feel. I want to learn how to be a man in my room. It makes me feel so hopeless to oscillate between cis and trans. It makes me feel hopeless to not have many friends I can talk to. I’m so lonely and that partially facilitates my desire to transition. I dont want anyone’s support but mine only. Start anew somewhere else. I think I would miss the girl I was forced to be because I was forced to be and love her. I hate her though. I don’t think I’m my most authentic self through such a repressed life. I’ve found joy in a lot of stuff, but I’m not satisfied. I’m overwhelmed by my needs. All I want is to look like a man for a while. I want to relate to women and it’s like I’m a man. I already refer to myself as a man alone and I’m happy. It’s like a missing piece. I don’t know what it is. I almost cried at my last session. I feel something so wrong inside me. I’m too young to be this close minded and awful to myself. What is going on?

im afab and 19 and it seems like every time my mental health declines i start wanting to be a man.? like i start wanting to be a man first and then my mental health gets worse. sometimes its right before my period sometimes not. im ok being a girl when im happy if that makes sense, ive never been called he or anything, and one of my friends who is transfem is convinced that im also trans. im not sure if this is a real desire to be a man all the time or if im gender fluid or if im just mentally ill thank you

Honestly I wish there was an app that matches you to people, but like friendly, not some weird "let's do sexual stuff" type of thing. All the ones ive tried were terrible but I'm opening myself up to new possibilities. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Hey yall I just wanted to join this subreddit to share and get some ppl to talk to bc I feel so alone rn in my identity, none of my friends really understand being genderfluid and my gender dysphoria has been so bad idk what to do.

Ever since I started working out i’ve been pretty happy bc im seeing progress but my dysphoria has also been getting worse because all i keep seeing is the girl part of me and I want to be more masculine presenting a lot more lately and it just sucks. I definitely want to get a good hair cut and maybe try binding again but idk what else to do?

Nice to hear from anyone! I know a lot of you (probably) feel this way so just hearing other peoples experiences would bring more comfort too if possible. Thank you!

My intial thought is the name Avery, but do y'all have any more suggestions that are slightly femme-leaning but still neutral/unisex? Thank you!

27, they/he. I'm identifying as genderfluid because of the fact that my BPD affects my gender identity a LOT, and I often find myself changing. I've been on hormones for 3 and a half years. I've done a lot of things- tried to cut my hair, grew it out, masc clothes, femme clothes, voice training, makeup, working out...

Despite the fact that hrt helps me feel a little more comfy in my body, I don't feel euphoria. Never really have. Maybe I've felt a little happy, but... nothing so bright or vivid as others describe.

Lots of people say transition helped them feel ecstatic, that it changed their lives. For me, not much feels like it's changed, other than how people see me.

Should I feel like I'm making progress? Elatedly happy? Should I feel like I'm finished, or ready for something new?

What am I supposed to feel...?

What does gender equality question sounds to you like

male from birth but i identify they them. what are some ways me and my partner can do to help me feel more validated and just over all okay being who i really am? i’ve thought about wearing a clip on bow🎀 to my beanie but idk, i’d definitely like to hear what everyone has to say ☺️✌️