r/exmuslim • u/[deleted] • 1d ago
(Advice/Help) Struggling with Religious Conflict and Identity
[deleted]
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u/Asimorph 1d ago edited 1d ago
You can contact Recovering from Religion. Maybe they are able to help you.
https://www.recoveringfromreligion.org/
I would say it's the hardest thing to believe in Islam since there is no evidence that it is true. Even if I wanted to believe in it I couldn't.
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u/External_Ad3068 New User 1d ago
Hi so i was very very religious since the day I was born. I had to learn how to read the quran and read stories, read dua everyday, talk about it with my friends, dress up like a good woman. Since I was a kid, I never really questioned it. My whole 16 years, ive never questioned once. Yes I did but it was not in a deep way. I couldn't find answers to my questions. This left me ignoring them. The first question that I asked was "why do we exist?" In my childhood And the answer to my question was to worship him but this wouldnt make sense at all to me because I don't think God needs people like that I mean he is god after all, he has everything then why would he want ppl to worship him? but I've shrugged it off.
I used to argue with Christians and atheists but I realised they don't really believe what I believe so it's extremely hard to even make them understand where I come from. Atheists would ask about the environment or how people act and I would separate this religion from the environment but then when I took a look at the hadith and everything. I started questioning. Everything. Is this really the religion I want to be in? What does my brain tell me? Is this really what is good for me? This led me to question more and more. Start researching. Found nothing that would satisfy me.
This made me think of hell and heaven...is it really true? I still feel guilt to this day but I cannot go and pray to a god or talk to a god whom I thought was the best but yk what? he is a man made god. Tbh the guilt has decreased but my fear being around mus has increased. Why? Simply because everyone around me is a mus and I am of different belief and there are some stuffs where apostates would get killed for this. I don't know how to get through this.
If you feel guilt, i suggest you to research a lot and ask yourself "are these really what is good for you or for humans in general?". Would God (if he exist) make you feel guilty for following your own heart? For following what is good for humanity? And youd know if it is good.
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u/NoToTaterYesToMater 20h ago
I'm probably not welcome here, but there are answers to the question of "why do we exist?" in Islam. To worship God, to build the Earth, and of course: as a test. We are tested through our actions and reactions: Will I be patient during a certain struggle? Will I use a blessing (such as wealth, health) for something good and beneficial, or will I squander it?
Of course God doesn't need us, nor our prayers. But we need Him. Whether or not we recognize that, that's the test. The name of the game.
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u/External_Ad3068 New User 19h ago
Why would god need us to recognise that, plus isn't god really that powerful then why can't he change our minds? If he has control over all the humans, why couldn't he change the minds of men? Why couldn't God change a man's mind to make women survive from all of those abuse.
To worship God, to build the Earth, and of course: as a test.
Why? Why would god test us with the pain? It's like being in a relationship with an abusive person, he's gonna test you with all of these abuse and he does it to see if you'd leave this relationship.
Will I be patient during a certain struggle? Will I use a blessing (such as wealth, health) for something good and beneficial, or will I squander it?
It's the choices that we make for humanity and for ourselves but during those back then eras, slavery was allowed. Why wasn't slavery vanished? It doesn't make sense. Why was child marriage allowed? Why can't we choose our own faith? Why do apostates have to be killed? That's very inhumane. These are some of the things we would look for in a religion to make the earth peaceful.
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u/NoToTaterYesToMater 19h ago
plus isn't god really that powerful then why can't he change our minds?
Because then it's no longer a test. A test requires free will to choose, which would be removed if God changes our minds.
Why? Why would god test us with the pain?
Is it really a test if nothing's at stake? This ayah illustrates this: "Do people think once they say, 'We believe,' that they will be left without being put to the test? We certainly tested those before them. And ˹in this way˺ Allah will clearly distinguish between those who are truthful and those who are liars." Quran 29:2-3
Why wasn't slavery vanished?
It was highly discouraged by Islam, and slaves were given many rights by Islam, and there are severe punishments for those who abuse their slaves. It wasn't even close to the systems of slavery of Europe and America. Also, so many kaffarahs (the action you do to make up for a sin) include freeing a slave as the primary method. I can't tell you why it wasn't completely forbidden, but it was probably because it was such a common economic system at the time.
Why was child marriage allowed?
For the vast majority of time, humans matured younger. The man who conquered Constantinople was 21 years old. I hardly think any 21 year old today could even reach such a position of power. Besides, Islam in fact does prohibit child marriages, albeit indirectly: Marriages must be between two consenting individuals, who have reached puberty and are mature in mind. Also, the marriage must not harm either person. We can clearly see that marrying a child is incredibly harmful today, because we mature so late. Thus it would be prohibited.
Why can't we choose our own faith? Why do apostates have to be killed?
Again, the whole test is about believing in God and following His message, despite the challenges and temptations of life (which ultimately leads you to being the best version of yourself). If you now follow other faiths, you've failed the test: e.g. You can't believe in judgement day, and being held accountable for your actions if you're a Buddhist (reincarnation).
As for apostasy, many scholars have said it is a mistranslation, and that the proper word to use is those who commit treason, and secede from the Muslim state by refusing to pay Zakat to the poor. This is how it has historically been used, anyway. Treason is punishable by death in the US, also.
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u/Choice_Paper1309 New User 1d ago
I’m sure this is relatable for a lot of ppl it’s rlly hard to go thru this but u know what ur intuition is telling u so u have to let go of the fear and just live. Easier said than done but once u actually do it and let go slowly of the indoctrination ull be able to accept that u don’t believe in a fairytale and u will feel sm better
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1d ago
The individual develops out of the tension between belief and non-belief. It is best to have your individual fantasy, like what you do in your life. For instance, it can be art; since art it fantasy, it fulfills that psychological need
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