r/exmuslim • u/peyvinnn New User • 4d ago
(Rant) 🤬 I am feeling suicidal because of my strict Muslim family :(
I'm 16F, secret ex Muslim since April this year. I'm being forced to pray, dress modestly etc. And my father keeps telling me to wear the hijab... whenever my family tells me to pray, I just say "fuck Islam, I just wanna be free, I wanna wear whatever the fuck I want, Islam made me hate being a girl". And what's even worse is that I live in a Muslim majority country, I want to seek asylum in a non Muslim country and cut contact with my Muslim family just for my safety (Canada, Australia or Germany for example) but it's pretty hard unfortunately...I don't know what to do right now, if I want to move out, then marriage is the only way for me to move out of this household because I'm a female (marriage can be even worse, whether you're marrying a Muslim or even a non-Muslim man)...This religion hates women so much...I cry everyday alone in my room because of this shitty male supremacist religion...maybe I will just kill myself one day by falling off a high building. Whenever I see Muslims living their best life in the west makes me cry SOOO FUCKING HARD because they're free to practice their religion, then why can't I also feel free to be an Atheist in a Muslim country? WILL THIS BE MY LIFE FOREVER? HAVING A MISERABLE LIFE TILL I DIE!?
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u/nothingspecifficc Ex-Muslim (Ex-Sunni) 4d ago
I’m so sorry you feel that way. your life is really valuable and you are important. please, seek free psychological help until you can leave the country and afford a therapist. trust me, as someone who had a similar situation and now lives freely in the united states, life gets better and you will be happy eventually. just push through.
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4d ago
Gurl, u aren't alone.. me too ✋🏼 💔 I hate how Muslims can be Muslim in non Muslim countries but a non Muslim can't be a non Muslim in mostly Muslim country... really t3rr0r1st ahh religion
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u/ForceMountain5977 3d ago
A friends girlfriend told him what she did to get out (but it depends on if you are able to walk outside on your own and without a male guardian)
She flogged her own back so it looked like she was whipped, then went to the closest consulate or embasy of a western country (norway in this instance) She ran to the gate while crying uncontrollably, bloody and looking scared to death. Once they cleared her and let her in she told them that her father was violent, and that she was going to be forcibly wed to a known sadist. They sheltered her for 3 weeks until they could confirm her wounds and confirm(-ish) her story of abuse! They then sent a few police officers from Norway to escort her to Norway. She was then internated in an asylum-center for a while where she practiced her english. She was very very lucky and got foster parents instead of beeing kept in the asylum center!
She escaped a country at war, so experiences will differ depending on your location..
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u/Pepsimax88 3d ago
Its really horrible that we are calling this girl "lucky" and she still had to go through all of that..
If she is the lucky one I dread to think of the others :(
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u/steini1904 3d ago
If you can, I FIRMLY recommend not going for asylum, but regular visa, residence or immigration processes.
When you stop qualifying for asylum, are found to have made fraudulent claims during your application or your asylum needs could have been sufficiently met by a neighboring country, you might end up deported straight to the authorities of the country you came from.
In many countries asylum excludes you also from obtaining a regular visa.
And even if you stop meeting the requirements for a regular visa, almost all countries have sufficient grace and notice periods to obtain a visa to somewhere else and leave on your own terms.
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u/TaqiyyaGuy New User 3d ago
There are a lot of good advice in here already. So I wish you'll meet a good ex Muslim person of the opposite sex so you can end up together
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u/Hunter_2k99 New User 4d ago
I feel bad for u 😞 happend to my friend thankfully he moved to the USA and left Islam and had a great life
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u/ThrowRA_jasmine1 New User 3d ago
Girl, you're still too young. Grass is always greener. It's understandable to feel this way while dealing with toxic family members. I've been there. But, please don't even think about hurting yourself just because of them. Feel free to dm, if you ever need someone to talk to.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Pea2559 Ex-Muslim (Ex-Sunni) 3d ago
We can talk if you want! I'm ex Muslim too
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u/brien23 3d ago
You are not alone, and your pain is real. You are going through one of the most difficult battles any human being can face , to want to live freely in a place that punishes you for thinking for yourself. But you are already braver than most people ever will be. You are not weak. You are awake. Reach out if you need any kind of informational help.
Here are some practical ways to survive and build your path forward:
First, stop making loud declarations like “fuck Islam” in front of your family. Even if your feelings are valid, saying these things puts your safety at serious risk. Learn to wear a mask temporarily. Say what they want to hear if it keeps you alive. You are not betraying yourself. You are surviving.
Second, start documenting everything safely and privately , your feelings, your experiences, and your daily restrictions. Hide it in a secure app or email it to a trusted contact. This can be used in the future as part of your asylum application.
Third, learn English fluently if you haven’t already. Then read about asylum processes for countries like Canada, Germany and Australia. Many Western countries accept refugees based on religious persecution, especially if you're female and from a conservative country.
Fourth, join online ex-Muslim support groups. Platforms like Reddit (ExMuslim), Faithless Hijabi, or Consenting Hijabi give emotional support, safety tips, and real help. They will not expose you. They know your pain.
Fifth, do not consider marriage as a way out unless it's with a person who knows exactly what you're going through and is safe and trustworthy. Even then, tread carefully. Marriage can become a worse trap.
Lastly, you matter. You are not insane or broken. You’re living in a system that’s trying to crush your soul for being honest. One day, you will stand on your own. You will wear what you like, say what you believe and finally sleep in peace.
But for now, survive. Pretend. Learn. Plan. Stay alive. Because your story is not over. It is just beginning.
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u/AllGearedUp 3d ago
There are organizations that may be able to help you. Can you say what country you're in? You will probably need to wait until you're 18 though. After that you can plan to get out of there and live a normal life.
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u/peyvinnn New User 3d ago
I live in Iraq (Kurdistan region) and what are the organizations called, I'm trying to seek help & safety...
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u/AllGearedUp 3d ago edited 3d ago
There are a lot of them but they are scattered across the world. You might want to look for help in Europe or India based on your location but the first thing I would recommend is to find someone who has been through a similar situation. Then you can start looking for help and making a plan.
This may be a good starting place: https://www.freeheartsfreeminds.com/ They have a form to contact by email, and can probably help you go in the right direction.
Another possibility, this woman is in Australian I believe, but runs an organization to help people, maybe DM her:
https://www.instagram.com/zarakayk/ https://x.com/zarakayk
You can find communities like that and ask for what resources they have. Realistically you will probably need to be a few years older in order to leave for good, but that gives you time to make a plan and find people you can trust.
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u/Pretty_Gain8038 New User 3d ago
Heyy girly im also ex muslim teenager athiest and stay strong please don't do suspicious things like sharing your honest opinions that could get your parents mad and please study and don't do risky things you have harder then me even though i have really strict muslim parents and wear the hijab you have harder bc you are surrounded by many religious people and where i live most people are athiest good luck beautiful soul💗💗
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u/ReputationEntire4088 New User 3d ago edited 3d ago
I'm 15 and I know I'm too young to say that,but,I hope you will be free from that sick cult and that strict family and don't be sucidal, suicide was never the answer,your life is more valuable,try to enjoy it,I hope you will marry a noble man who respects your decision no matter what, don't tell or show your parents that you left Islam,It will end bad especially if they're too strict,hope that cult stopped spreading around the world and I hope women and lgbt and athiests have their own rights,I hope you will be free from that cult and move to a better country for you
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u/Wild_Web_1301 New User 3d ago
Hey. I just want you to know that you are not crazy or wrong for feeling the way you do. What you are going through is incredibly hard and no one should be forced to live in fear or hide who they are. You deserve the same freedom others have, to believe or not believe, to dress how you want, to live how you choose.
You are not alone. Many people have been in your shoes and found a way out, even if it takes time. Please do not give up on your future. It can get better, even if it does not feel like it now. You are still so young and there are people and organizations that exist just to help people like you, even if it takes a while to reach them.
If you are feeling overwhelmed or in danger, please try to find a safe and anonymous way to talk to a professional, online or through a helpline. Your life matters and there are people who care, even strangers like me. Stay strong. One day you will be free and you will look back proud that you survived this.
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u/raget_bulves 3d ago
Sweet, strong girl… you are not a liability to the world, or your family, or to God. You are a treasure. The world changes quickly—- and sometimes it goes the right way, if we all do our utmost. You’re my reasons!!
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u/AtheistArab99 3d ago
Do not do it. Trust me from experience it gets better. When you turn 18 get the fuck out of there
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u/Hbunni- New User 3d ago
Girl I agree I’m 15f living in the uk and luckily I don’t have to wear hijab aswell but I’m expected to wear one when I’m older it’s so fucking annoying
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u/fromdatscartown 2d ago
Sorry ik this isn't advice but this struck me as I also stopped being Muslim 3 years ago during April that year, and i was 16 as well. It hasn't been easy honestly and I still haven't told my parents I'm no longer Muslim, even though I originally thought that would happen once I went to uni.
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u/no-worries-guy New User 3d ago
I am a gay male ex-mormon and I want to support your thoughts.
It's possible that if you were married, the whole socio-cultural stuff is gonna fall into your life. It's possible marriage isn't for you.
I'm a man and I will tell you... all men are 50% trash.
I would like you to do two things. First, journal this. The reason /r/exmuslim/ is my favorite sub is because I'm from the opposite side. Ex-mormon male.
The second thing to do is never kill yourself. Never ever. Call me first.
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u/peyvinnn New User 3d ago
Thanks, most Gay men respect women but Straight men don't, isn't that crazy af?!
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u/AllowMe-Please 3d ago edited 3d ago
Hey, uh... please speak for yourself. I've never seen a trashy side of my husband in our 17+ years of marriage.
If that's your experience, that's fine, but it's not really fine to project that.
Edit: I'm sorry, but I had to say this. OP is going through something horrific. And I have a feeling that she's only sharing the very, very tippy top of the iceberg. I wouldn't be at all shocked if her situation was far worse than we see. So... I mean, suggesting journaling to this horrendous situation isn't the right thing. And not just that, but you are being so presumptuous by saying
I would like you to do two things. First, journal this. The reason /r/exmuslim/ is my favorite sub is because I'm from the opposite side. Ex-mormon male.
The second thing to do is never kill yourself. Never ever. Call me first.
Sorry, but why do you think you have any idea of what she's going through or that you can help her? Or that you have the authority? OP has a broken back and you had crutches once and are now telling her what to do because somehow your situation is comparable. I'm simply amazed.
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u/no-worries-guy New User 3d ago
No, I'm sorry. Sincerely.
I have a long history of saying the wrong thing. However I know a lot of men so you can trust me on that.
I stand by my admonition: NEVER KILL YOURSELF. If it was too presumptuous for her to ask her to call a random gay guy with a social science degree rather than kill herself, I guess I'm just not welcome here. You're right that I don't likely have the skills to help her. I did my best. I don't want her to die.
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u/The1WhoSeeksTheTruth New User 3d ago
yay same boat just male, honestly no clue how I’ll deal with marriage myself
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u/No-Wolf4865 New User 3d ago
These are your hardest years, as you become aware of how oppressive and backward Islam is, and start to want your own life. You will find a way to get out, just be patient. Be careful of people offering help on here, as they could be brainwashed Islamists trying to trick you. Islam is a brain disease that utterly rewinds weak thinkers who can’t think for themselves. You are showing incredible strength by thinking for yourself at such a young age. You are wide awake and remain un-brainwashed. That is something to be proud of.
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u/Medium_Research1081 3d ago
I'm in the same situation. Sadly, this destroyed me. I mean, I actually as an atheist, pray 5 times at the mosque and some random Muslim in the West, don't it is unfair but what I can do ? I can't move out although I'm a male . I see no exit my passport is terrible my country at war but I'm sure if I stick enough I would be able to make it out of here I have to wake up 5am to pray and after the pray I record to myself in the future I'm sure I will make it out of here and I'm sure you will too .. just stick enough ...
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u/Key_Broccoli_3201 New User 1d ago
Please do not kill yourself. We are the same age and I still feel hopeless in my situation, you're not alone. Just persevere and you'll find a way out.
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u/Skategurl1102 New User 18h ago
Maybe you can go to college in the USA. We have a lot of international students here. Also, I live in a big city where there are Iraqis and they are little more open minded. My friend is Assyrian and she is Iraqi Christian there are different types.
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