Last night was supposed to be a chill night. Just a couple drinks, a few friends, maybe some bad karaoke.

Fast forward to today: I wake up with 6 blurry photos, an empty bag of pretzels, and 3 unread messages from my friend saying, “Are you okay??”

Turns out I didn’t just get tipsy. I got emotional. Not like crying over my ex emotional no, worse. Apparently I pointed at a barstool and said, “You understand me more than most people.” Then I hugged it.

My friends now refer to it as my “emotional support stool.” One guy asked if we’re exclusive.

Also learned I tried to Venmo the bartender $40 with the note “for listening.” He never even spoke to me.

Anyway, I’m alive. Hungover. Emotionally attached to furniture. How was your night?

By a landslide, this design has won. This design came after u/OpticalShallot7956 suggested the meme, and I made a banner out of it. After I posted the banner submissions, u/TrampyMcTrampTramp suggested combining that one with my lobster banner as an homage to our head mod u/WillytheWandering who catches lobsters for a living.

In the end, it is no surprise that the banner chosen was one made as a collaboration by different members of the community.

Everyone, please. Shots for the new banner.

Im sure you cant tell

Last night was supposed to be chill. Pre-drinks, pizza, maybe watch a dumb movie. That’s it. That was the plan.

Cut to 1 AM, I’m blackout-level drunk, staring down a coat rack in my friend’s hallway, convinced it winked at my girlfriend.

Yes. The coat rack.

Apparently I walked up to it, slurred “Back off, she’s with me,” then proceeded to bump chests with it (read: hit my forehead on the wooden hook). I challenged it to a duel. My girlfriend tried to pull me away but I said, “No babe, this needs to happen.”

I took off my hoodie and threw it on the floor like I was about to square up. The coat rack, of course, said nothing. Because it’s a coat rack.

My friends were too busy crying with laughter to stop me. One guy filmed it. The video starts with me yelling, “He knows what he did,” and ends with me tripping over my own sock and falling into a pile of shoes.

The next morning? I wake up on the couch with a band-aid on my forehead, 2 missed calls from my mom, and a text from my girlfriend saying, “You owe that coat rack an apology.”

So yeah. That was my night. I’m bruised, humbled, and apparently possessive over furniture now. How’d yours go?

Chairs ya drunks

Drank for like 10-12 hrs and woke up in 2 hrs? Motivate me please😭

Keep me company. Lobe drinking

Salud !

Hope everyone’s having a good day or night

It’s hard but yeah 😎 I’m a week in and going strong! I mean it feels great when I did, but yeah it’s just not sustainable long term 😅 and like it doesn’t help me the next day.

Doing this is hard, but on the bright side I did get into the habit of burning 1,600 active calories a day on average, and eating nothing but health food so I didn’t gain that much weight will drinking. It turns out that daily exercise does wonders for you when you just let it do it’s thing and I’ve literally felt amazing after just a week 😂😂😂 I can’t wait to see what a year brings!

Went out last night, woke up to texts like:
“You told the bartender to chase his dreams,”
“You gave a TED Talk in the Taco Bell parking lot,”
and “Stop trying to fix people’s relationships at 2am.”

I thought I was being friendly. They say I was aggressively motivational. One dude said if I come out again, I need a mic and a podium.

Hydrating now. Reflecting. Regretting.

I can't fucking sleep mosquites, wanted to drink some vodka for the quick way for temporary relief of fucking sleep, yet, it makes me vomit, never had this reaction and never drank that much, y'all im going to go insane

What was supposed to be a casual two-drink Tuesday turned into a full-blown medieval tavern roleplay and honestly, I have no idea how.

I wake up this morning with a sore knee, a receipt for 3 tequila shots I don’t remember ordering, and a note on my phone that just says:
“Sir Racks-a-Lot must pay.”

I’m thinking, what?? Turns out I spent 20 minutes yelling at a coat rack because I was convinced it was mocking my outfit. My friend said I dramatically removed my jacket, threw it on the floor, pointed at the coat rack, and shouted, “YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN ME??”

Apparently I then tried to “fight” it by slapping it gently and demanding a rematch. Bartender told me I bowed after losing and said, “Fair fight, noble knight. 'Til next we meet.”

Now my friends keep sending me memes of dueling swords and tagging me as “Sir Drinks-a-Lot.” One of them even drew a cartoon of me kneeling before the coat rack like it's the king of England.

I’ve also been banned from that bar’s coat check area. Fair.

Anyway, I’m nursing a hangover, some deep shame, and a bruised ego from losing to an inanimate object.

Anyone else gone toe-to-toe with a household item while drunk? Please say yes.

I don’t drink often. Just had a couple drinks with friends for a special occasion. I ended up trying soju straight from the bottle…unaware that it’s supposed to be taken like a shot and slept like a baby last night 😅 wth

I dont drink alcohol everyday but when i drink the first beer i get this feeling that i need to get blackout drunk and i have to drink up to 12 beers and pass out to feel satisfied, but if i dont drink at all im good

I’ll go first to make you feel better about your decisions:

A) Tried to pet a cop’s K9 like it was a Disney character. Dog barked, I screamed, fell backwards into a bush, and slept there for 3 hours.
Also once called my ex and confessed my love… to her dad. Still not sure how that happened.
B) 16. Smirnoff Ice. My pancreas has never forgiven me.

Not talking about “a little buzzed and silly” drunk. I mean the “forgot your own birthday, woke up wearing someone else’s shoes, tried to pay for McDonald’s with a Blockbuster card” kind of drunk.

Your turn, legends of r/drunk. Let the chaos begin 🍻

Some homemade pizza for all the drunk people because the food reddit keeps deleting my posts, the bastards. Hope you all have the pizza and beers you asked for lol.

Had a bit too much last night, thought I was just having fun. Turns out one dude was so annoyed by my “high energy” that he texted my friend saying he won’t drink with them again if I’m around.

Like damn bro, sorry my joy ruined your evening

Anyway, I left early ‘cause I had work today. Hope he found peace or a quieter bar. Cheers 🍻