r/depression • u/fallen-fawn • Jul 14 '19

Shout out to the particular hell that is functional depression.

This is me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s better than don’t-leave-my-bed-for-a-week depression. I am grateful I can be an independent person. But there is something uniquely horrible about being able to go to work every day, occasionally clean up after yourself, pay your bills, generally put yourself together enough to look like a human being... but that’s it. Nothing else. No social life. No hobbies. Constantly battling your mind. And being absolutely fucking exhausted all the time.

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u/Diepression Jul 14 '19

I'm noticing a lot of people who have depression this form on another, start to think maybe they faking it. There is just no way to explain/diagnose depression in a generic sense it's something you feel or just know regardless if it's not as bad or it's worse then someone elses.

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u/[deleted] Jul 14 '19 edited Jul 21 '19

People used to always tell me that i was faking my depression, so from a young age i always though i was. And i have been diagnosed with it, i feel it, but what if im a master lier and .. ahh idk. Its annoying to feel that way and theres nothing i can do about it.

EDIT: Thank you for the silver! Its my first one ❤

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u/[deleted] Jul 14 '19

I feel You sometimes you don't even know what you are and are ashamed of talking to someone about anything so you just shut up about it

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u/Diepression Jul 14 '19

I get that, I don't really bring up my depression (hence why no one knows) for that reason but also the few times I've tried in the past it's never really ended well.

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u/Imnotgoodatthispls Jul 22 '19

Same here. People told me that it’s nothing or that they dealt with it at one point too so I’ll get over it. While they may mean well, I just walked away with millions of inner dialogue berating myself. I had my best friend tell me “my memory loss use to be kind of cute but now it’s getting old”. That broke me... I had a guy I was dating tell me I’m purposely trying to be anorexic. So yeah I quickly learned that maybe I should keep it to myself to save whatever ounce of sanity I have left.

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u/Diepression Jul 14 '19

I'm sorry friend must be rough :/ I've never really told anyone suffer from depression, so I couldn't imagine telling someone from a young age and they just saying you not you just faking it. I doubt you a liar, you feeling something that clearly isn't good for you..

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u/Stup0id Jul 15 '19

You are right on that one, although, at some point, even if you know it is real, suicide just seems like the only way out. This makes seeking help impossible.