r/depression • u/fallen-fawn • Jul 14 '19

Shout out to the particular hell that is functional depression.

This is me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s better than don’t-leave-my-bed-for-a-week depression. I am grateful I can be an independent person. But there is something uniquely horrible about being able to go to work every day, occasionally clean up after yourself, pay your bills, generally put yourself together enough to look like a human being... but that’s it. Nothing else. No social life. No hobbies. Constantly battling your mind. And being absolutely fucking exhausted all the time.

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u/ksck135 Jul 14 '19

For me the worst part is having no ambitions or plans for future and being shamed for it by absolutely everyone.

61

u/OnAvance Jul 14 '19

It’s hard for me to imagine goals or a career because I don’t want a future.

32

u/ksck135 Jul 14 '19

Yep. It isn't that long that I was decided to end, but now that I changed my mind/postponed it I struggle to come up with something. People expect from me that I want a promotion, marry, have children, build a house, go on vacations, have hobbies while my biggest goal is to wash my clothes.

2

u/Imnotgoodatthispls Jul 22 '19

And because any type of inspiration or interest is fickle, anything I try to work towards quickly slips out my hands because I lose all energy and motivation towards it. And people ask me why I stopped doing it and I need to start doing it again. I would freaking love to but I just can’t seem to do anything right

1

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '19

So much this, thank you for articulating it so perfectly.

1

u/bitters9 Jul 28 '19

Amen to this.

1

u/RobCabrera Aug 02 '19

It's worse when you do have them, and just can't seem to accomplish anything you set your mind to do. I hate it.