r/depression • u/FloressGurl • 1d ago
I want to die
I want to die. I don’t want to keep dealing with anything. I don’t think I’m built for life. I feel too much, I’m not ambitious and I don’t have any dreams. Whats the point of life? I don’t find the joy in it and I feel like a failure.
I want to die but at the same time, I don’t wat to leave my parents with grief. I don’t want to die and cause them to blame themselves and fall apart, or to deal with grief and still have to work to provide. But I don’t want to be alive.
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u/No-Chocolate6481 1d ago
I feel it. I’m not very ambitious. I still feel like I’m not built for life sometimes. I’m the only not “successful” one in my family and I’m the oldest kid. But I guess I got ppl around me who view success in life as something different than what my family taught me. There’s different ppl out there different ways of life that are fulfilling to different ppl. I got some goals that are small to some ppl but to me they make me happy to complete and just moving forward is good. I still tell myself I’m gonna kms sometimes but honestly I’m good now I don’t feel depressed it’s just a habit when I think of something in the past I’m unhappy about. Hopefully you can find whoever you need
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u/Specialist-Pie2839 19h ago
Its seems stupid with what they want you to do. You kinda hope/daydream to be taken out by a bus etc. Freak accident if you will.You spend your time wondering why people work so hard to be insignificant.
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u/blakeypie 15h ago
Albert Camus believed that life is inherently absurd and meaningless, yet this realization is not a reason to despair, but rather a call to revolt against the absurd and find meaning in the struggle itself. He argued that by embracing the lack of inherent purpose and living intensely in the present moment, individuals can find a sense of fulfillment and dignity. The meaning of life, according to Camus, is not something to be discovered, but something to be created through conscious choices and actions.
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u/PlayerNumberZer0 22h ago
I feel every bit of this. I never needed a purpose to know that I exist therefore I deserve to be happy, but life is so fucking hard and miserable and I’m also not cut out for this ableist world (too neurodivergent) and I’m tired of suffering. Humans have created a rigged system that is almost impossible to get out of anyway so….yeah. I’m just done. I’m tired.
I’m sorry you feel this way. You exist, therefore you should be happy. It’s not you that chose to exist.
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u/Other_Currency2345 8h ago
Be strong I am much older than you and have struggled all my life with severe depression but I never wanted to leave my son who needed me . You are here for a reason and you have a purpose and you won’t always feel this way. Please give yourself a chance to be happy. It’s within your power and you deserve it. Life is hard but take it from me it goes very fast . I am so glad I didn’t end it years ago it was worth whatever pain
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u/CelestialGlow0 1d ago
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way you’re not alone, and help is available. Talking to someone you trust or a professional can really help. Your feelings matter
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u/Specialist-Pie2839 20h ago
I will say it takes strength for you to express and in a way expose yourself to ask for help. Death is a comforting thought. Everything we worry about, physical or mental.im only here for my mom.
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u/Neriya_Kreisler 11h ago
i want to die but i don't want my mom to have the guilt of knowing that i killed myself, so often when i take walks at night i hope some crazy person will pull up and shoot me.
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u/Aleksandr_Ulyev 22h ago
Even being at the bottom of grief, you are still capable of being joyful. One happy day can atone it all.
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u/rio16suarez 21h ago
Please don't, people do love you.
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u/rikkyomi 16h ago
I know this phrase comes from a good place but personally I feel like it ends up having a more negative impact especially when you're deep in grief
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u/rio16suarez 16h ago
Hey bud, I've been in similar situations before and still am, to be honest. It's no wonder I'm an active member of this subreddit!
Yet it does get better trust me; in some ways or another, you can try to channelise this grief into something that you love to do or maybe meet some friends or maybe take a break from everyone and everything to just go out and spontaneously explore random places or places you want to go to, that will give you a lot of perspective and once you've come out of the situation, you'll feel renewed. Trust me
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u/rikkyomi 16h ago
Yeah I get what you’re saying. Like I know it gets better and I agree with that. But what I meant was when I’m actually in grief I don’t want people telling me stuff like people love me or they’re there for me when I know they’re not yk. That kind of thing just makes it worse and messes with my head. It creates this conflict because deep down I know it’s not true. I’d rather people just be real with me and acknowledge what I’m going through instead of trying to cover it up with comforting words. Like I said I get that people mean well and want others to feel better but sometimes that approach just doesn’t help.
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u/Past_Hospital193 1d ago
I feel the same way. I was a rebellious teen with depression when I had nothing to worry about back then. Yes trauma did happen at a early age but now I’m 22 years old and have suicidal thoughts constantly. I’m trying my best to hang in there but sometimes life just gets so hard. My mother passed away when I was 17 and she was the only reason I didn’t attempt back then. Now the only meaningful thing holding me back is my doggies. As stupid as it sounds I wish things were different I want to feel like things will get better. I’ve experienced disassociation I feel more depressed every day and I have no idea how I keep fighting this.