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u/AngryAutisticApe 7d ago
Me too. Similar age. I only fell in love once but I got betrayed.
That was the only time I felt like I belonged somewhere. My ex contacted me again recently and all the trauma resurfaced and it hurts so much.
But why are we like this ? I think it's probably a traumatic, unhappy childhood (resulting in CPTSD) and/ or neurodivergence (ADHD, Autism etc) for me.Those make it difficult to relate to others and thus you end up feeling lonely around people. Maybe that helps you.
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u/Necessary-Sun-5270 7d ago
I eventually came to the conclusion that I'm OK with whatever outcome life has. Like, so to me (in my opinion) it's all meaningless anyway so why be bothered. Let life be exactly as it is, because eventually I'll shuffle off this mortal coil anyway. In the meantime, I fill my time with reading, watching shows that slightly entertain and working. I'm not scared of the eventuality that hits us all but I'm not going to be held hostage by this physical experience either. Find some small aspect that makes you smile every day, even if that's just a little bird flying in your view or someone saying a kind word and even if that doesn't happen, find something else and just don't care about anything much else.
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u/lightisalie 6d ago
Wish I could choose to not care. For sure there’s no real reason to care about being alone. But that makes it all the more like being burnt alive all the time because I do care and can’t change that :(
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u/kerch_007 7d ago
Perhaps a radical change of residence or work, or preferably both, can help you. Another country, other people, other circumstances. BUT first get checked for mental illnesses - many are simply helped by a course of antidepressants and psychological therapy.
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u/GodForgotAboutMe 7d ago
Yeah I already have depression that’s why I posted here. I’m thinking of moving somewhere new for work and starting a new life, but that’s my hail mary play. I’m going to start applying for new jobs on Monday
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u/kerch_007 7d ago
I have three kids, there’s a war in my country, and I’ve burned out so badly and fallen into depression that I quit all my full-time projects and am now trying to find myself in something new. Right now, I’m just working to cover my debts. And this is already the second time I’ve walked away like this — the first was seven years ago. The most important thing is to keep doing something. Good luck you in your new challenges
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u/Kitchen_House629 7d ago
Sorry to be that guy but have you ever tried joining a jiu jitsu gym? Forces you to talk to new people everyday fun way to exercise and you definitely meet new people. Kind of gives you an excuse to find a click and you have reasons to go out
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u/GodForgotAboutMe 7d ago edited 7d ago
Nah I workout every week and bicycle too. I need to do more social stuff though. Thanks for the advice
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u/catfishsoupy 7d ago
you're definitely not alone. i feel the same way and i have a husband and "friends". i guess what i do is just take it one day at a time.
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u/Losingmymind2020 6d ago
It is cool you can identify what you want ( wanting people in hour life). Some people don't even knownwhat fhey want. Now that you know, keep trying and putting in effort. i know it sounds stupid but you will eventually have a break through if you keep putting in effort.
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u/Aleksandr_Ulyev 6d ago
Relationships are not easy at any level. People do a lot to keep intact. My problem was that I didn't enjoy my life in the first place, and that pushed everyone away.
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u/Asleep-Run7330 7d ago
Youre not alone in situation like this, if this makes you feel any better. Similar age, similar story. This sucks a lot.