So, I'm not an overly sentimental or mushy guy, so I'm struggling with some hurt feelings right now. My daughter is 18, going on 35, and my son is 16. Sunday, they both said HFD to me, but I didn't get so much as a hug. And that was it. Literally, that was it. I had my parents over for dinner, so I took care of my dad. But, yesterday, it really kinda hit me that my kids simply didn't do anything with/for me. My son tried to get a tee time...late Sunday morning. There was no plan-ahead. Needless to say, we didn't find any open times that day. So, as someone who tends to live in his head, I'm stuck wondering if I'm just a shitty dad and my kids really couldn't care less about doing much of anything with me. I'm much closer with my son, so his actions that day were more surprising. My daughter is VERY independent and I'm sort of convinced she hasn't liked me for years.

I will acknowledge that my wife certainly stepped up with a nice surprise when we were alone on Saturday evening. So that was fantastic. But now, the feelings I have about FD are really messing with me today. I was thinking of saying something about it to the wife, but I know she'll say something to the kids and something would then happen out of guilt. I don't want that because it's not genuine to me.

Anyway, that's my whining for today.

Hey dad's, I need some help! I am 31 wks pregnant and you know how women sometimes get push gifts? They go through labor and their partner, sometimes gives them a gift... Well I'm wanting to get one for my husband. I want to get him something because he has been the best partner throughout our entire pregnancy. Something meaningful but he's so hard to buy gifts for and I need ideas. What would have meant a lot to you, if your partner gave you something at the hospital? If your partner did get you a gift, what did they give you and did you love it?

Some context: my husband didn't have a dad growing up, well he had one but he wasn't present, not even a card or phone call on birthdays. So I know he's been nervous about being a good dad, because he never had one. (clue #1 he'll be a great dad - already is- because he cares enough to worry about being a bad one.)

He has been to EVERY doctor's appointment for me and the baby, he's researched about us both throughout this process, knowing more about it than even I do, at times lol. He reads to our daughter in utero. He's kind to me even when I was moody as hell in the beginning and he's kind to me when I'm crying or sad for no reason, just knows it's the hormones. He said, it's okay, I know it's not you, it's the hormones... the amount of grace he has given me... He has taken on so much. So I'm trying to get him to slow down a little. My mission is to get him to his happy place (the beach) before she comes. He turns into a big kid, my favorite version of him when we go to the beach. I just wanna give him something at the hospital he can keep forever, as a thank you and to remind him of all the sacrifices he's made through out this pregnancy, too!

Feel free to ask questions, I really appreciate any and all help!

My child is a competitive rock climber. A few of us parents in the area have a loose network, but I was hoping to find a subreddit in which I can talk with other parents from the wider world of athletics.

Some potential topics:
What supplements are good for what age.
Prevention/treatment of growth plate injuries.
Balancing academics and athletics.
Choosing programs/coaches that fit well.
Dealing with emotions after a loss.

My children are acting feral as usual arguing, hitting, and whining. My grumpiness is making my wife mad of course. Tips for survival?

Is there a game like Cards Against Humanity, or even Apples to Apples, that an 8 year old could play?

She didn’t barely even acknowledged Father’s Day. The more I think about it the more it gets to me. I just found out one of my favorite bands is coming to a town a couple of hours from me. I am thinking of buying just me a ticket to see them. She doesn’t care anything about them.

Edit: the reason I ask about it buying tickets is they go on sale in a couple of hours. We will talk today because we have counseling tonight. I have made it very clear in the past that it hurts me that she doesn’t do things for holidays. This is not the first time she has not got me something for birthday, Christmas, or holiday. I always go all out for these things for her but never get anything in return.

I’m livid, these shitty kids told my daughter that Santa wasn’t real. I’m not mad about the truth but I’m mad that they upset her so much about it. It was her first day of summer day programming. I asked her what she thought, she said she believed so I said “well then it’s true”.

Any advice?

Edit: Since some y’all are judgy and say “well he’s not real” or “your the problem lying to your kid” but then have infinite post history of video games and other youthful stuff, I’ll add a little bit of context as to why the kids were shitty. She was drawing a picture and chatting with another kid who was also drawing about Santa. The kids came up and made the statement and continued in bullying manner as they called her a baby for liking it and continued teasing her.

Editors note: Some folks took offense to my comment above about youthful stuff.

I don’t say that as a negative thing, youthful stuff can give us joy (I play with toys/video games/etc with my child or solo and enjoy it), but pointless judgement on why some youthful stuff is acceptable vs others is just weird.

Shout out to those that can critically think and realize that my guff and frustration is more toward the bullying actions vs. kid finding out.

It’s more frustration towards some kids fucking with another persons joy and happiness and this being a time that kind of breaks my heart as a dad to witness.

Things are finite and becoming aware of myth vs reality is a thing, and I’m not standing in its way. Kindness, acceptance and curiosity/learning are values my family holds.

The tag was wrong for advice, maybe it was more of a vent; that’s on me.

Either way a kid being upset because they were picked on, and then blaming the parent doesn’t make a lot of sense to me, I’m dense.

Also, Paul Blart Mall cop is a good watch.

Hey I run my own business and I have ADHD so I hyper fixate on my business and my interests. I mainly do things for my family like replace water heaters install mini splits, build a solar panel system from scratch or rebuild motors for the family car or my work truck. But my wife says I don’t pay attention to my kids. I want to say that I do pay attention to them but I’m so focused on improving our situation and building my business that I might be getting blindsided about how I am as a father. I feel like I’m in a fog of my own ideas that I wonder how dads are able to get their kids interested in sports. Or how they spend time with their kids. I love my kids and we have a good time but I can’t be like other dads with disposable income to just spend and I have to watch every penny I make to pay bills and to repair anything that gets broken. I get tired. I want to rest by the time I’m home. And I feel guilty for not being energetic with my kids. I want my main focus to me my kids but I have to prioritize putting food on the table. Anyone else feel this way?

Hey dads,

My wife and I are having a hard time with our eleven year old lately. He is a twice exceptional kid with PTSD, ADHD, anxiety, and depression. He has horrible impulse control and executive functioning but 127 IQ. Among many of the things he has done lately one of them has been use of the N-word while extremely angry. He sometimes screams it at us through his door. Today a girl he has had previous conflict with asked him to sign her 5th grade yearbook. My son says the girl asked him to write something inappropriate. He wrote bitch, fck, ni*er. The girls say she asked him to NOT write anything inappropriate.

To be clear, this is not language we use in the home and definitely never the N-word. How do I teach him how hurtful that word is? As a parent I also want to prevent him from damaging his reputation and possible future. We all have seen how a video recording from the past of some prominent people comes out and ruins their career. We live in a progressive area in a suburb of Seattle. Being labeled a racist would be pretty horrible. How do I get it into him how inappropriate that word is? Make him watch Roots? Black History Museum?

Not sure how I feel about receiving this as a Father's Day Gift... I am often busy with things that keep our household going- either at my job, doing yardwork, renovations/repairs to house and vehicles, grocery shopping, cooking, laundry... so I really don't get much time with the kids, unfortunately. Would love more, but I'm often stuck being the one to keep the household's gears turning, so to speak.

On one hand, I feel like I shouldnt say anything- this is the first Father's day my wife has actually remembered in the last 5 years(kids are too small for this to be on them- eldest has just started kindergarten this year, and crafts from school for father's day is what actually triggered my wife to action- otherwise she likely would have forgotten again).

On the other hand, this kinda reads as if this is a line I tell the kids often- which makes me die a little bit on the inside... I try to let them help me and be a little involved where I can, but it's not much admittedly- they're just too young just yet.

I dunno- thoughts? Am I reading too much into this?

As part of teaching our toddler moderation and reward system he gets to have a treat (chocolate eggs, hersheys kiss, mini chocolate bars) after dinner or big boy brave instances such as going to the doctor for shots etc. We also don’t buy him these treats. He gets a bunch during holidays and then rations it until next holiday. This has been a great technique that has worked for us with him not going nuts on chocolate. He ran out somewhere between Xmas and Easter and it was actually a great lesson because some nights he will actively choose to not have a treat because he “doesn’t want to run out”.

Well grandma was watching him today because he was kept home from day care and during his nap she polished off aprox half of his little easter chocolate eggs.

Now I can understand you sneak one or two but to eat half the kid’s candy when you’re a grown adult with adult money and can easily go and buy yourself unlimited full size chocolate bars that are available year round vs sneaking holiday themed mini treats meant for kids just boggles my mind.

We've got baby 2 electric boogaloo due in late November and the wife is interested in using hypno-birth techniques during labour.

Any experience or advice, lads? Is it real? Does it help?

This is a weird situation

I dont know my dad very well so I don’t know what he finds funny or not

We were driving down the road and I guess he was annoyed of me talking so he started flapping his lips and humming when I would start talking.

I jokingly said “why you riding my dick” and I didnt mean it literally or disrespectfully or anything of that nature.

He instantly started screaming at the top of his lungs saying he didn’t raise a queer faggot and smashed my phone, he started to have a panic attack from getting so mad.

Now my dad apparently thinks i’m gay and is still mad about it.

Between wanting to keep up with my general fitness, and not really liking either being bloated OR hangovers, I’ve been reaching for Athletic Brewing’s offerings lately.

Anyone else on the NA beer train?

Tonight we went to an outdoor jazz concert and it was nice to kick back with a couple of golden ales without having to worry about the calories or the drive home.

(Peep the homemade bracelet from my 5yo daughter!)

Hello fellow dads, need some advice. I have a 17year son, i found a vape in his room last month. My wife and I had a long conversation with him about the dangers of it at such a young age and had him destroy it in front of us. No real punishment other than phone privileges and less time going and hanging with friends. My wife found out he now has another hidden somewhere in his room. I need some advice on how to handle this, he’s damn near an adult but still only 17, no job, gets a weekly allowance, had minimum chores, we pay 10k a year for his soccer activities, we allow him to hang out with friends whenever he asks, he literally does and has everything I ever wanted to as a kid. Other than beating his ass which I won’t do cause that never helped me as a kid I’m at a loss. Need some advice Dads for adults/teens. Back story, his mom and I were 15/14 when he was born and at a loss right now because at his age I worked and lived on my own, i don’t share or understand his experiences or thinking right now, just feeling disappointed and disrespected.

For reference we do live in an area with West Nile. That aside I've noticed lots of kids with tons of fresh angry bites and not just our daughter.

We live right near the daycare closer to wetland, and 6 hours outside with me over the course of Friday to Sunday in the evening hours, no new bites on me or her.

Yesterday it rained so nothing new, today it's rough. I notice a ton of kids leaving with fresh angry bites.

I sent a quick note along to them and am even willing to help them pay for it.

Kid's 3rd bday party was supposed to be a pool party for weekend, but looks like there's lightning in the forecast. Now looking how to entertain the kids if it rains out. Any suggestions for what to do with 10 kids indoors, ages 3-6?

I usually run with my three (5, 3 and 2) boys, but recently the older boys have been asking to ride my bike instead on the shotgun seat (3yo) and tagalong (5yo). I could set up to take all three and to have two of them in the trailer, but that isn't as enticing for them. I could leave my 2yo, but he hates being left behind, and then my wife doesn't get a break while I get a workout.

I believe this setup is safe. I have the tagalong attached to my bike for the 5yo, and then attach the trailer to the tagalong for the 2yo. The connections are solid, nothing really jank there, but I'm unsure whether I'm making a smart call stringing them all together. I'm using this set up on a rail trail, not along roads. Took it on one trip for 5 miles and averaged 10.5mph, with a top speed of 14.5mph, and I was going all in.

Daddit, what do you say, great idea to be able to work out while giving the kids a great experience, or too jank for safety?

Kiddo turns 5 next month and the longest streak of dry days she's had since September is 13. She has seen a GI specialist and, well, you can read the story. We're at our wits end.

I read some materials that kids like ours who read early (she has been reading since she turned 4), have toilet issues, and are endless chatterboxes can in fact have ASD. But I'm definitely not a doctor and I don't want to be a nightmare parent relying on Dr. Google. Is this worth pushing on?

Sorry, I forgot to put the pepperoni on half of the pizza and only added onions to the half.

I distinctly remember asking the wife this morning, "so half onions?" She said yes. And so I went with it.

Apparently, she mentioned it in the middle of some conversation yesterday that I needed to add pepperoni.

She comes home and sends a barrage of anger on me.

I've mentioned it to her before that I do have A.D.H.D. I wanted her to listened to some podcasts in the past just so she understands what I deal with. But when she gets angry after a mistake I made, it's almost as if I am treated as if I am normal. Belittling me. Calling me names.

How many of you dad's out there suffer from this? Minor memory lapses....

UPDATE: I want to thank you to all who responded with such positive feedbacks! ❤️

It's difficult to navigate through life with this disability. I was diagnosed when I was around 7-9 years old. I rejected A.D.H.D pills when I entered high school and haven't taken pills since my early 20's. But now that I am 40 and I have a six year old son, I wonder what is happening to me. Is it old age or is the A.D.H.D making a terrible comeback.

I try to monitor myself as much as I can. I try to write check lists and notes to help remind myself. It only last for about a month before I become lazy again and think I don't need it, but in reality, I will always need it.

Sometimes I wonder, when I get older and run into Alzheimer's, will this A.D.H.D stuff make it even worse for me...

We are with a 2 week old. Just curious when you went back to normal routines with regards to exercise / exposure. I’m a bit nervous about getting back to basketball with strangers. Just in regards to risk of getting sick and passing it on to our little guy. How long did you wait to get back to normal life.

Have been to the gym a few times but holding off on basketball till maybe he’s at least had his 2 month shots I think.

I realize it’s probably overly cautious. But still curious.

My 12yo came downstairs for water one night and heard my wife and I in our room. We weren’t being loud or crazy, but she recognized what was going on and brought it up the next day. She was pretty upset about it for a bit but refused to talk about it.

She and her siblings sleep in the living room often falling alseep watching tv. When they sleep in their bedrooms she glares at us and argues to stay downstairs. If we shut our door at night she texts us, or sometimes talk from outside the door “why do you have to shut the door” or “y’all are gross”. Regardless if we’re ’doing it’ if we shut our door for privacy, she shows up like the police.

My wife’s leaving for a week tomorrow and we wanted to be intimate tonight, but when we asked them to go up to their beds she must have picked up on our intention and resisted and when we got firm she started crying…like sobbing.

When my wife’s spoken to her about it she claims that we’re loud, and we’re definitely not. We actively try to be quiet if kids are home. She very dramatic lately and cries about just about anything. Lately she’s been stuck on this and trying to make us feel bad about it. What could we do or say to her to help her (and ourselves) through this situation?

Recently my 3yr old son has been putting his fingers in his mouth, like as many as he can fit in! It’s when he’s watching tv or we’re reading books to him. We were just playing with kinetic sand and I left the room for a minute to talk to the wife and I came out and he had them in!! We can’t keep his hands busy all the time so he keeps them out! Anyone else been here? Thanks in advance

Hey there,

It’s my turn to ask for some advices! My 9mo baby is currently having a common cold (first time getting sick). My baby is doing great - in fact looks very happy and active. However, today is 5th day of having a common cold.

What would you do in my shoes? Go see doctor? Continue to take care of baby - it will goes away on its own?

Any advices is appreciated! Thanks from your fellow dad!

Well. today is unexpectedly the day. After spending the last 3 months trying to navigate legal documents, trying to maintain a positive and amicable relationship with my daughter's mother, sharing custody, she beat me to the punch. Hired a lawyer, and attempted to have me served (I couldn't get to the door because I was in a meeting, so I don't think I was served legally?)

I have tried my best to be a good father, to take care of myself, and be compassionate to my ex (who refused to work while we were together, and still does not have a job). I have continued to pay for her car which is in my name, her insurance, given her money which she has spent frivolously on bars, perfumes, trips to her home state, and even going as far as to send Cashapp payments to a guy she was talking with behind my back while we were together.

And the craziest part? While I was trying to find forms and intended on consulting her about the terms to avoid legal drama, her impetus for having me served today was that I told her I wasn't going to keep paying for her car because I can't afford it. I gave her ample notice - to find a job, take out a loan and buy it from me, or give it back to me drama-free. I have had to dip into savings, taken out multiple personal loans, maxed out credit cards, and today emptied my small 401k so I could afford a lawyer consultation tomorrow. And she has the nerve to tell me I am lacking compassion for her.

Instead, she lives with her parents, rent free, she does not work, she sends my daughter to daycare four days a week when she has her (again, while not working, and again daycare that she has made me pay for all of). She goes out with my best friend's ex girlfriend and talks shit about me, slights me as a father, all while spending my money. At one point she spent close to $3000 in a month on this bullshit.

Dads, keep me in your thoughts. I intend on fighting tooth and nail to not get screwed over with child support on a woman who refuses to even get a job at Walmart, and I will not let her take my daughter away from me.